Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
PATTY
T he next morning, I head out of my bunk to the lounge, where Alicia and Lou are both sitting. Alicia’s working with her laptop out on the couch while Lou is on the ground across from her stretching. It looks like she’s just finished a workout, in black leggings, running shoes, sweat slicking her hair back in its ponytail, and a black sport tank top that shows off just how committed she is to staying in shape for the tour. Her cheeks are flushed from the exertion, giving her a fresh-faced look that’s far too appealing.
I tear my gaze away and turn for the kitchenette, flipping on the coffee machine out of habit. I grind the beans, fill the filter, and slam the lid down harder than necessary. The low hum fills the silence as I lean against the counter, arms crossed.
“Mornin’,” I say.
Alicia smiles, but Lou doesn’t even look at me.
I grab a mug from the cabinet and set it down a little too hard, the ceramic clinking on the counter. I hate how much her silence gets to me.
I have to stop getting closer to her, though. I can’t keep my mind on fixing the past while I’m daydreaming of a future with her. Not that I’m daydreaming about anything. The whole white picket fence life with 2.3 children ain’t for me. I’m too much like my mom—a wanderer too selfish to stay or sacrifice.
The coffee finishes brewing, and I wrap my hands around the mug, letting the warmth sink into my palms. But having Lou ignore me is like a splinter in my finger—instead of working its way out, though, it’s getting deeper, irritating with every tiny moment, impossible to ignore. An itch I can’t scratch. A burn that won’t cool.
Lou’s phone buzzes, and she takes the call, still leaning into a stretch. “Hey, Jane! You’re on speaker in the bus. Alicia is here. And Patty.”
“Hey guys!” Jane says. Alicia responds excitedly while I look at Lou to see if she actually wants me to answer.
She doesn’t look at me. It shouldn’t bug me. But it does. I take a slow sip, the coffee scalding my tongue, but it gives me something else to focus on.
“Do you have a sec to talk?” Jane asks.
“Yup,” Lou says. “Should I go to my suite?”
“No, it’s nothing big. Well, kind of random, but nothing big. I think.”
Lou sits up, leaving her leg outstretched as she holds the phone in front of her. “Okay …”
“You know Tripp’s cousin, Kayla?”
“Of course,” Lou says. She looks at Alicia and whispers, “Kayla Carville—she owns the baseball team in Patty’s town. Look up her wedding ring.” Alicia nods and starts typing.
“It’s funny you mention that,” Jane says. “She just broke up with Aldridge.”
“What? Wow. Did y’all know that was coming?” Lou asks. At the same time, Alicia has pulled up the ring and is gaping at her laptop screen. I risk a peek and almost want to gape, too. The thing is enormous and gaudy to the point of being ugly.
“Tripp said her family’s relieved. Aldridge was a nice enough guy, but he was uptight and too obsessed with her.”
Alicia is looking at pictures of Aldridge, now, and she mouths to Lou, “He can be obsessed with me anytime.” Lou snorts.
“It was smothering,” Jane continues.
“So why now?”
“Funny story. You know how our old intern just got married at the farm?”
“Sure. I was bummed to miss the wedding.”
“I know. We missed you,” Jane says. Lou puts her feet together and her legs make a diamond pattern as she leans forward in a stretch. “At the wedding, she met a certain bartender who she spilled her guts to about how she was dreading getting married, and he asked her what she was going to ‘make happen,’ and that flipped a switch in her head. So she broke off the engagement.”
Lou turns her head to me almost suspiciously. “A bartender, huh?”
I shake my head mid-sip. “Don’t blame me,” I say, even though we all know who it was.
Jane laughs. “Oddly enough, Patty, I do not think you flew out mid-tour just to bartend a wedding. It was your brother. I guess they had quite the conversation, and it gave her the push she needed.”
I’m trying to imagine what kind of conversation they could have had. Sean gives the best bartending therapy out there, but after what happened to him, he doesn’t get in the way of relationships. Ever.
“Well, good for her,” Lou says.
“Agreed,” Jane says. And then something in her tone shifts. “And here’s where the random comes in. Tripp and I were wondering how you’d feel if she stayed at the house with you and Ash during the baseball season. She’ll be in Phoenix for Spring Training in March, but she wants to be close to Mullet Ridge for this first season so she can get the operation under control. There’ll only be a few weeks of overlap when you’re back from the first leg of your tour and Parker gets married, and there’s plenty of room, but we wanted to run it by you before offering it to her. I think all y’all would really get along.”
“Nice use of ‘all y’all,’” Lou says, but it sounds routine, half-hearted. Then I see her straighten and pull her shoulders back, and she gives a firm nod. “I adore Kayla. Tell her she can move in for as long as she wants. It’ll be great to have her there.”
Jane pauses. “Are you sure? Alicia, look at Lou for me. Is she sure?”
“I’m sure!” Lou says.
“She’s sure,” Alicia echoes.
But Jane asked the wrong person. Where Alicia sees a firm nod, I see a wall going up. Holding her head high, pulling her shoulders back, and pushing out emotion.
“Okay. I’ll tell Tripp so he can extend the offer to Kayla. Thanks, LJ.”
“Anytime, J. I need to hop in the shower, but we’ll chat soon. Tell me what Kayla says.”
“I will. Love you.”
“You too.”
Lou hangs up the call and stands like she’s got no cares in the world, like her stick straight spine isn’t a dead giveaway that she’s struggling with having Kayla move in. Tripp’s grandpa owned a huge house across the river from downtown Sugar Maple, and I know it has more than enough space for each of those women to have their own room. I’ve never met Kayla Carville, but there’s no way Jane would bring up something like this if there was even a chance she thought it would make things hard for Lou or one of their friends. The Janes’ loyalty runs deep and fierce.
So why is Lou upset?
Lou excuses herself to go to her suite, and I find myself watching her. Nothing new. I’m always watching her.
When she’s gone and Alicia’s back to work, I sit in the kitchenette and finish my coffee while I text Sean.
PATTY
So, Kayla Carville, huh?
SEAN
What are you talking about?
PATTY
The girl you met at the Sugar Maple farms wedding. I didn’t even realize you’d worked it.
SEAN
Ash told Dad and me the wedding was for a friend, so I wanted to make sure it was done right. We didn’t have a game that day, so it wasn’t a big deal.
I feel a twinge of guilt that I’m the reason Sean was tending bar that night. He shouldn’t have to worry about the bar at all during hockey season. That responsibility—that burden—is part of what I’ve tried to take away from him, even if he insists he likes being there with Dad and me. At least when I’m there, I know his presence at the bar is by choice. But we hired another bartender full time to replace me, so I thought it would take the pressure off him. Nothing I do seems to take the pressure off Sean, though. Sometimes, I worry I’m only making it worse.
SEAN
But what is this about Kayla?
PATTY
You broke up her engagement.
SEAN
…
The dots disappear. Return. Disappear again. And then, finally, a text comes through.
SEAN
I didn’t break up her engagement. She said she almost wished her fiancé was cheating so she’d have a reason to end it. I told her that sounded like reason enough.
PATTY
Huh.
SEAN
Don’t “huh” me. You telling me if a pretty girl said she felt like she was suffocating in her relationship, you wouldn’t say something?
PATTY
Can’t help noticing you called her pretty.
SEAN
Stop changing the subject. You really trying to tell me you wouldn’t say something?
PATTY
I wouldn’t say something.
SEAN
Well, I’m not you. And I didn’t tell her what to do. I asked her what *she* was going to do about it.
PATTY
Right. And you did all this out of the goodness of your heart, even after swearing you’d never get in the middle of someone else’s relationship?
SEAN
I didn’t do anything. I don’t even know Kayla.
PATTY
You made an impression on her.
SEAN
I make an impression on a lot of people. I look like a grizzly bear with a mullet.
PATTY
I saw a picture of her online. I think she made an impression on you, too.
SEAN
Stop fishing. I’ll never see that woman again.
PATTY
She’s moving into Tripp’s grandpa’s house with Ash.
SEAN
…
She won’t be living with Ash for long. Rusty’s fixing to pop the question.
I almost rock back. I shouldn’t be surprised—Rusty’s been in love with Ash for a long time, but they’ve only been dating for, what, six, seven months? Not that it matters. Rusty’s a good friend, but he’s allowed to get married. Even if he’s years younger than I am. Even if he’s had some of the same struggles I have …
But Sean is trying to distract me.
PATTY
You’ll still see her all the time if she owns the team. Mullet Ridge teams support each other. It goes with the territory.
SEAN
So? It doesn’t concern me. And it shouldn’t concern you, either.
PATTY
If you say so.
Sean doesn’t respond right away, and after only a moment, I stop waiting for him to say anything at all. Rusty is one thing—when he and Ash get married, I’ll be the first to congratulate the guy. But my brother? What could have inspired him to get involved in Kayla Carville’s love life?
I push my curiosity aside as my eyes turn to the closed door to Lou’s suite and to another, stronger curiosity.
Why was Lou so upset? And how can I make it better when I can’t let myself get close to her?