Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
LOU
W e’re watching a hockey game on his dad’s couch, me nestled in the crook of Patty’s arm, him holding me like it will stop time.
My throat is tight, but I refuse to let myself cry, instead trying to memorize the feel of his muscles beneath his cotton T-shirt. Trying to absorb his scent—cedar wood and baked bread, now that he’s been back in the bar.
Trying to etch the feel of his lips into my heart.
Across the room, Danny sits in his wheelchair, a throw pillow tucked behind him for extra support. There's still a brace peeking out from under his zip-up hoodie—one of the post-op ones that helps stabilize while the inflammation settles.
Danny doesn’t know it yet, but with the payout Third Street Records and Connor Nash gave Patty to settle the ‘songwriting snafu,’ as they’re calling it, Patty’s already paid off the bar, paid for Danny’s surgery, and he’s buying his dad a new home in Mullet Ridge—fully adapted for wheelchair users.
With a few million to spare.
Danny’s surgery last week was a success, and the damage from the slipped rod was far less severe than the surgeon feared, so his recovery will be easier than anyone expected.
Not easy, but easier.
He’s still stiff when he moves, still winces when he shifts too fast—but that’s normal. For now.
I hate that I won’t be here to help. I leave tomorrow for Parker’s destination wedding—on a friend’s island off the coast of Portugal—so this is my last night with Patty and his family.
I’m going to miss him so much, it physically hurts. I’ll miss Danny and Sean, too. They already feel like family.
Patty must sense this, because he presses a kiss to my temple and whispers, “It’s gonna be okay. As soon as Sean’s season is over, I’ll fly out and meet up with you wherever you are. We’ll be together in no time.”
Sean and Danny cheer at something the Augusta Arsenal did on the screen, and Danny’s voice carries, hoarse but happy. I tilt my face up to Patty’s, my nose stinging.
“I know. And I love you for being where you need to be.”
“I love you, too.”
Someone on the opposing team shoots the puck hard, and the goalie flings himself across the crease, pads flashing, stick out—and somehow, he catches it!
But then, it all goes wrong.
As soon as he lands, his right leg buckles at an unnatural angle, and Sean, Patty, and their dad all hiss.
The goalie grabs his knee, tipping over, his mask hitting the ice.
The announcer’s saying something about how bad it looks as people rush in from the Arsenal bench.
“The team trainer and doctor,” Patty says to me.
“And those are the EMTs,” Sean adds, pointing to where several men on the big screen are holding a stretcher. He’s shaking his head, jaw tight, like he can feel the injury in his own body.
“It’s a rough sport,” Danny says. “But even if it’s over for him, it’s not the end.” He pats Sean’s back. “It’s just a new beginning.”
Sean winces as the player gets taken off the ice. We watch the last few minutes of the game, but Augusta’s 2-1 win feels almost somber.
Sean leaves tomorrow for a week-long road trip, and with playoffs right around the corner, he won’t have much time to focus and recover. I think we’re all a little surprised no NHL team has called Sean up yet, but with the playoffs coming up and the trade deadline ending today, I’ve gotten the impression that Sean might also be relieved that it hasn’t happened.
The O’Shannan men don’t have the self-esteem they deserve.
I get up and give Danny and Sean hugs—mindful of the bandages beneath Danny’s hoodie—before Patty escorts me through the small, worn but loved house.
The next time I see the O’Shannan boys, it’ll be at Danny’s new house.
So even though leaving Patty for any amount of time makes me feel like my heart is taking a beating, I smile when Patty stops me just before the entry.
“That excited to leave me, Queenie?” Patty says, putting his hands on my hips and tugging me against him.
I thread my fingers together around his neck. “Not quite, Sugar. Just thinking about Danny in his new home.”
Patty scoffs and sways me right, then left. Right, then left. “Danny would be happy living in a box.”
I smile bigger, resting my head on Patty’s shoulder. “He’ll be so much more comfortable,” I say. “But I’m not just thinking of him. I’m thinking how happy you’re going to be giving him the keys to his new home.”
I hear Patty’s breath catch, and then his arms wrap fully around me, squeezing me tight. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“I don’t want you to go to Parker’s wedding without me.” He kisses my temple. “Although, maybe it’s a good thing I can’t go with you. If I ever get you alone on a private island, I don’t think I’ll be able to share you.”
Heat roars low in my belly.
“And I’m not sure I’d be able to leave,” I murmur as Patty tips my face up toward his.
His breath catches, his forehead pressing to mine like he’s holding onto the moment, onto me. I squeeze my hands at his sides, wishing I could make time stop. I close my eyes as he brushes the tip of his nose along mine, the barest touch, before he pauses right between my brows.
It sends a wave of tingles over my body, making my knees almost buckle.
“If we start kissing,” I whisper, “I’m not gonna be able to stop.”
“You promise?” he asks, his lips barely grazing mine.
Before we can kiss, though, there’s a knock at the door, and we break apart.
Patty tucks me against his side and reaches out to open it.
And we stand there in shock.
Patty doesn’t move a muscle.
A pretty woman in her late 50s is clutching a large duffel bag, with a worn rolling suitcase behind her.
In light makeup—mascara, a little blush and concealer—and jeans with a simple black sweater, she looks both younger and older than she did after the game in Springfield. More tired, but less burdened.
Tears pool in her eyes.
She smiles at me, but her attention is fixed on Patty.
“Hi, my boy,” she says to him.
Patty’s arm around me tightens, his fingers twitching at my waist. “What are you doing here, Mom?”
“What I should have done years ago,” she says, clutching the strap around her shoulder. “I’m telling you ….” Her chin quivers, and she wrings her hands, squeezing the strap tighter. But then she holds her head up higher, even as she flexes her hands to stop wringing them.
“I’ve hurt this family a lot, so I understand if you ain’t ready to trust me.” She inhales deeply. “But I’m done chasing dreams that’ll forget about me. I’m coming home.”
She sounds so sincere, but I can feel Patty’s reluctance in the way his fingers dig into my hip, the way his breath hitches before his voice hardens.
“Mom, Dad just had surgery. He needs round-the-clock help. This probably isn’t the best time for you to try to make a sweeping change.”
“It’s the perfect time.”
It’s not Cheyenne who says this, though.
It’s Danny.
Sean has wheeled him into the entry and is wearing a hopeful look on his face.
But Danny’s expression is firm. Unwavering.
“Boys, your mother and I have been talking for months,” Danny says to Patty and then to Sean. “We’ve had a lot of hard conversations.” The corner of his mouth raises. “And a lot of good ones. She’s asked to come back home, and I believe this time will be different.”
“It will be,” Cheyenne says quickly. “I get it now. I see things differently. And I’m sorry,” she adds tearfully. “I’m so sorry.” She looks down, staring at her feet like the shame of her past weighs too much for her to hold up her head. “Patty, I’ve apologized to your dad and Sean a lot over the last several months?—”
Patty whips his head to Sean, who shrugs unapologetically.
“—but I haven’t had the chance to tell you how sorry I am. I abandoned you when things got hard all your life, but especially after your accident. I told myself I was no good for you. I told myself this was my way of helping. I’d never proven myself at anything, never been a good mother. And then, when you needed me most, I was too busy making it about me and my fears to realize I was missing the most important part.”
“Which was?” Patty asks.
“You.” She gestures to each of them. “All of you. Chasin’ dreams was easier than admitting I was a failure. Not just at the music. At being a wife. A mother. I want a chance to make things right.”
Patty’s mouth flattens, his lips almost paper-thin as his mom takes a step forward.
Her chin trembles. “Can you forgive me?”
I look up to see him frown, but his body isn’t so tense now.
“I don’t know,” he says. I feel his eyes on me, and I look up to meet them. “But I’m willing to give it a try.”
He may as well have said yes for the smile it puts on her face.
The tears in her eyes slip down her face as she beams. “That’s more than I could ever ask for.”
And then, Patty exhales sharply, his throat working around something unsaid. “I’m glad you’re trying, Mom,” he says, his voice rough but real. “That matters.”
Sean looks at me with wide eyes, and we both grin at each other.
Cheyenne walks over to Danny, hugging him tightly.
She puts her hand on his, and he looks up at her, smiling.
“Boys,” Cheyenne says. “I’m moving back home. I’ve read up on everything he needs and talked to the surgeon. I know his post-operative care like a songbook.” She smiles proudly. “I’m going to help your father recuperate.”
“Great,” Patty says. “We appreciate the help.”
Danny shakes his head. “You don’t understand,” he says. Cheyenne puts her hand on his shoulder, and for a second, they look like a team. “Your mother wants to be the one helping me through my recovery.”
“Completely,” Cheyenne adds. “We got a home health nurse we can call in case of an emergency, but Danny and I have talked, and this is something we both want.”
Sean’s laughing, his eyes wet. “Really, Mom? You’re really coming home?”
A sob escapes her, but it’s half laugh, too. “I’m back, sweet boy,” she says. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
Sean laughs again, throwing his arms around his mom and then his dad.
The way he loves so openly is a beautiful thing.
But then Patty nods, clearing his throat, and emotion rises like a tide in me. This subtle show of emotion is every bit as beautiful.
“It’s good to have you back, Mom,” he says, his shoulders shaking, his arms around me, his body humming with unspoken emotion.
Then he gives his parents a watery grin that makes me sniff.
Cheyenne’s demeanor, her body language, her countenance—they’re all so different from when we met only a few weeks ago.
She’s a changed woman.
And she looks so much happier for it.
“I appreciate every sacrifice you boys have made for our family, for the bar. But you’re still young. You have lives of your own,” Danny says, holding his wife’s hand in spite of all the years of heartache. He looks at his sons, his eyes overflowing with love and pride. “And we want you to live them. Your mother and I will be just fine.”
I don’t go home immediately, even though I need to pack for the wedding. I can’t go now, when Patty and his family are talking, laughing.
Healing.
We sit around the family room sharing stories and catching up, and the feeling gets more open, more beautiful as the minutes turn to hours.
When the subject of my tour comes up, Cheyenne gives me a glowing smile.
“What you did for your Daddy was so touching,” she says. “Danny sent me the video that night. I already wanted to come home, but it made me realize we ain’t never too old for redemption.”
“Never,” I say. “We’re never too old, too far gone, too grumpy,” I add, elbowing Patty.
“Too handsome,” he shoots back.
“Never,” I grin.
“Too handsome?” Sean teases. “Have you seen that guy?” His phone rings before Patty can retort.
Sean sticks out his tongue and gets up from the table.
“Hello,” he says.
His eyes pop.
“Yes.”
He pauses.
“Yes.”
He nods.
“You got it. I can be there.”
Danny and Patty are looking at each other, Cheyenne is looking at Sean, and I’m looking at everyone.
“Thank you, sir. Thank you!”
And with that, he hangs up the phone and jumps up from his chair.
“You’re looking at the new goalie for the Augusta Arsenal!”
And we all scream.
Patty walks me out to my truck an hour later.
“So, I guess everything worked out for the O’Shannan boys?”
He laughs. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him so happy, and that makes me love him all the more. What could be more attractive than a man whose happiness comes from seeing happiness in others?
“It did.”
“And that means you’re comin’ with me on tour again?” I ask as our hips bump.
“I am.”
We reach the truck, and he spins me toward him, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs.
“And you’ll meet us at the Mullet Ridge airport tomorrow morning for Parker’s wedding?”
“I will.”
“And when we get to the island, you promise to share me?”
“I will not.”
I tut.
He opens my truck door, and I climb in, then spin so I’m facing him.
“That’s gonna make you very unpopular with the Janes.”
“I don’t need them to like me.”
“Oh, funny boy,” I say, kissing his nose and rubbing my nails through his scruff. “ I need them to.”
“In that case, they’re gonna love me.”
I grin.
“Good boy. You’re a keeper.”
He closes my truck door behind me, and I roll down the window to give him a kiss.
“That I am. Good night, Queenie.”
“Good night, Sugar.”
As I drive away, I glance in the rearview mirror.
He’s still standing there, hands in his pockets, watching me go, but this time, I don’t feel like I’m leaving something behind.
As Danny said, it’s not the end.
I’m just driving toward the next beginning.
And with Patty, I plan to enjoy every moment of the ride.