FOURTEEN - JAMESON #3
“Ma’am, I don’t wanna hear shit about your track record.
I’ve got worse luck than Taylor Swift—spent my entire life picking the wrong men.
I just wish I could have found a way to capitalize on it.
Hell, I’ve cooked meals for men I should’ve poisoned.
” Kelly stood up and made her way over, causing my head to bob when she sat down.
I almost threw up. “You still love him, don’t you? ”
I didn’t respond. Anything I said at this point would be held and used against me forever, so I just kept my mouth shut and let the room spin.
“You know it’s okay to still be in love. Shit. You deserve love, too. Even with him.”
I gripped the arm of the couch and shot straight up. Bad idea. If there were any remnants of breakfast in my system, surely they were on their way back up. “Jesus Christ. I am not in love. And definitely not with him.”
I have a love for Roman, there was no denying that.
But I was not in love with him. The kind of trust I needed to be in love with him had yet to be earned.
It was one thing for me to want to jump his dick; it was another thing entirely to give him my heart…
again. I’d made that mistake once already, and I’d decided going back down that road would probably get us both killed.
“Whatever you gotta tell yourself. I saw it years ago—hell, we all did. Well, the ones with half a brain around here.”
“It’s just not like that.”
She tilted her head to the side. “Okay.” She patted me on the leg, then started to stand up.
I huffed. “Where are you going?”
“Some of us got work to do.”
“Fine,” I conceded. “Is it that obvious?” I had too much on my plate to be catching feelings for someone…much less worry about other people noticing it, too, right now.
She sat back down. “I mean, it’s not like you walk around here wearing ‘I Love Roman’ on the front of a T-shirt, but anyone who’s ever paid attention probably picked up on it.
You think no one used to see the two of y’all sneaking off and hiding from time to time?
Why do you think Alina from housekeeping gave you her key card?
She got sick of you asking to borrow hers. ”
“Ugggh.” I buried my face in my hands. “You don’t understand. My dad would have killed us if he knew—then and now.”
“Would have. You’re a grown-ass adult now, and your dad isn’t around anymore, God love him.” She put her arm around my back. “So, what’s your excuse?”
I threw her a look. “For starters, everything. It’s him.”
“So? What’s that got anything to do with it? We all know what he does for work, or he wouldn’t be here. Plus, he’s fucking hot. How can you not want that?”
“Nobody said I didn’t want him, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed I don’t exactly have time for love. Hell, I barely have time to shower. I have a casino to run, idiot minions to ward off, a massive fundraiser to coordinate, barges coming and going. The list never ends.”
“Well, let’s see. You’ve got a team of guys running your casino. Roman and security are keeping the idiot minions away. Me and Haley got the event covered. Ivan and his binkle nuts crew take care of the boats.”
“Kelly, you’re amazing.”
“I know! Now, let’s at least get you laid. You can do that on your own, can’t you?”
“No! Absolutely not.” I tried sitting up but was quickly pulled back down by an unseen force. Damn it, Josephine! “I’m too busy right now to even think about having sex.” Okay, so that wasn’t entirely true. I’d thought about sleeping with Roman at least once an hour since he came back.
“Sounds like an excuse to me. You need a good fucking. ’Cause from what you’ve told me about—”
“Don’t say a word. I already know where you’re going.” She was about to call out Chris.
I shuddered at the flashback of the few times we were together. He wasn’t the worst I’d ever had, just the worst I could remember in a very long time. For the record, convenient sex is dumb sex, and it’s never as good as you think it is in the moment. At least not for me.
“I’m just saying. A little dick would do you some good.”
“It’s not little,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Ohmigod, Jameson Magnolia Hazentree! You already slept with him again, didn’t you?”
I bit my bottom lip to keep from spilling my guts. The alcohol didn’t help. I made a mental note to find out what Josephine kept in that bottle.
“You did, didn’t you? Was he good? Please tell me it was as amazing as you remember.”
“No! Well, not exactly.” Not yet.
“What do you mean, not exactly? You either did or you didn’t? Spill the tea, bitch. I’ve got to get back to work.”
I was so embarrassed and for no good reason. Kelly was my best and only female friend—the only one I trusted to confide in when it came to non-work-related stuff. “We didn’t sleep together, but I’ve…felt it?”
“Is that a question? Or are you telling me?”
“Ugh. It’s not a question. I did. Okay? Better?”
“You’re a damn mess.” She stood up. “Go fuck that man ’cause there’s no way in hell he’s gonna turn you down. And don’t come talk to me again until you do.”