37 Roxie
Roxie
The flash of my camera caught the edge of the brass nameplate, its engraved letters gleaming beneath the chandelier’s glow. I adjusted the lens and took another shot, trying to focus on composition instead of the knot in my stomach.
My mind had been a mess since the moment I laid eyes on Sebastian tonight.
Part of me had wondered what it would be like when I saw him again.
Especially after I read every email he’d sent me over the past six months.
Even though he’d thought I wasn’t getting his messages, they were a testament to the effort he had put in to be better, to change, and tonight felt like the perfect encapsulation of who he’d become.
Over the past week, I had gone through what felt like every emotion as I tried to rearrange my understanding of who Sebastian was and to work out whether the growth I was seeing was enough.
The donor wall stretched the length of the ballroom.
Polished plaques were mounted against deep walnut panels.
Each one honored the families and corporations who had contributed to the East Side Food Bank.
Through my viewfinder, the names blurred together.
Only one burned sharp—the Whittaker name, centered at the top.
“Looks good,” Hallie said, crouching next to me with her little point-and-shoot. Her deep-burgundy dress draped over her, a perfect fit that showcased her figure, and I was fairly certain James hadn’t stopped staring at her all night.
I snapped another picture. “Funny how you volunteered me for this job. Come to think of it, you were the one that suggested we cover the food bank.”
Hallie’s lips curved into a guilty smile. “Well, I knew it was a story that we’d want to cover, so I made an executive decision.”
I lowered the camera, narrowing my eyes at her. “An executive decision, huh? That wouldn’t have anything to do with Sebastian being behind all of this, would it?”
Her smile only widened, smug as ever. “Payback’s a bitch, isn’t it?” She winked at me, reminding me of the night I’d schemed with Sebastian to shove her and James back together at Whiskey Locker.
I groaned, shoving playfully at her shoulder. “Hallie Woods, you are unbelievable.”
“And you love me for it,” she shot back, rising to her feet and smoothing her dress.
Then her grin softened as her gaze drifted across the ballroom to where James and Sebastian stood with a cluster of finance men.
“Besides, you and Sebastian needed to be in the same room again. You’ve both been impossible—him pestering James about you, you dropping his name every chance you get without even realizing it.
James and I decided we needed to simply cut out the middleman. ”
I scoffed, but my racing pulse gave me away when I thought about the instant I saw him. The tuxedo, gleaming cufflinks, and the way his gaze met mine as if no time had elapsed.
“I’m not sure I know him anymore,” I murmured, more to myself than to her.
The man I remembered wouldn’t have involved himself in anything like this.
Despite his good heart, Sebastian had always been more interested in the next party, the next drink.
But the man standing across the ballroom, stealing glances at me, seemed like someone else entirely.
Someone that had worked on himself. Maybe even someone that had truly changed.
Hallie’s voice gentled. “Maybe you should try, Rox,” Hallie said gently.
“He hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in over six months.
This food bank? It was his idea start to finish.
He pitched it to his dad, fought for it, and then gave everything he had to make it real.
He’s already planning other projects, too.
He’s making Whittaker Holdings into a company that is no longer just about profits, but also about a purpose. ”
“He does seem … different,” I admitted. Different. The word tasted almost dangerous, like something that could tip me over a cliff if I wasn’t careful. It almost tasted like hope.
“All I’m saying is, don’t walk away before you’ve even given him a chance to show you who he is now,” Hallie urged.
I wanted to argue. To insist I wasn’t interested. But my throat caught around the words, and all I could do was nod faintly.
Once I finished taking pictures of the donor wall and Hallie had gone back to James, I slowly drifted through the crowd. Or maybe I was being pulled.
Somehow, I found myself only a few feet away from Sebastian by the balcony doors, which was the same spot I had noticed him earlier.
The golden light from the chandelier danced across his tall frame, drawing my gaze with every turn of my head.
For once, he didn’t project the image of the carefree heir to Whittaker Holdings, unburdened by the troubles of the world.
With earnest eyes, he watched the crowd, the names being added to the donor wall, and the interactions, as people pledged to his foundation for the food bank.
The moment his eyes lifted and landed on me, the soft murmur of the ballroom quieted, as if everyone held their breath.
With a firm grasp on my camera, I took a deep breath and moved forward, each step carrying me away from the fading gala’s sounds. I supposed we might as well get it over with, knowing it was inevitable we would speak tonight.
“Roxie,” he whispered, the word a gentle exhale after a long silence.
Swallowing hard, I could feel my pulse skittering wildly against my ribs. “Sebastian.”
A heavy, awkward silence sat between us. His eyes searched mine, desperate and guarded all at once, like he wasn’t sure whether to take a step closer or brace for me to walk away.
“You look …” He paused, his throat working as whatever he was going to say got caught on the way out. With a cough, he tried again. “You look incredible, just like you always do.”
A sharp breath caught in my lungs. “And yet you are so different from who I remember.”
He shifted, tugging at the cuff of his sleeve as if the fabric could anchor him. “I had to be. The guy you remember wouldn’t have made it here tonight. He wouldn’t have been trusted to run something like this.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Wouldn’t have been good enough for you.”
Those words were like a sudden punch to the gut. “Sebastian—”
He shook his head quickly, the movement mirroring the frustration that simmered in his gaze.
“Don’t. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I know who I was.
I know the mistakes I made, Roxie. Every one of them has been burned into me.
The parties, the drinking, the way I pushed everyone away, especially you, with my actions.
And I’ve been paying for it every damn day since. ”
The ballroom felt miles away, the music a mere whisper, and the laughter barely audible. It was just me and him.
My voice came out softer than I intended, trembling against my will. “So this is you making amends?”
His jaw clenched, but there wasn’t anger on his face. Only hurt—raw and open for me to see.
“No. This isn’t about penance. This is about doing something that matters. Something real. But all through the opening day, I just kept wishing you were there to see it. Because I know you would have loved it.”
I blinked fast, trying to hold myself steady, but my chest ached at the honesty in his voice. “I saw it. Hallie took me the other day. What you’ve done is incredible, Seb.”
“You went?” His voice cracked slightly.
I nodded, my throat tight. “I think Hallie and James may have been scheming. The first time I saw it, I walked by with Nate. I didn’t know it was yours. I am so proud of you.”
At the mention of Nate’s name, jealously flickered across Sebastian’s face.
“We’re not together,” I told him, wanting to ease how he was feeling despite myself. “I told him we wouldn’t work out a couple of months back. I think he loved my family more than me.”
Sebastian’s shoulders shifted ever so slightly, as his posture relaxed. As if he wanted to speak, his lips parted, but nothing came out.
“I can’t tell you how many nights I thought about calling you,” he admitted.
“But then I’d picture you with him, moving on, happier without me.
That thought gutted me every time. So, hearing you say his name …
” He shook his head, a mirthless smile tugging at his mouth. “I guess I deserved the punch.”
A sudden, intense ache burned inside of me. “Sebastian—”
“No,” he whispered, his gaze holding mine with an unshakable intensity. “You don’t owe me anything. Least of all, an explanation.”
“I got your emails,” I whispered.
Sebastian’s eyes widened. “How? You blocked me.”
“I unblocked you a week ago,” I admitted.
Every emotion I’d been feeling after having read those emails was bubbling up through my chest, constricting my throat until it felt almost impossible to speak.
But I had to get these words out. “I read all of them. And I need you to know how proud of you I am.”
Faintly, the sounds of the gala returned, yet it was still just the two of us. We were in our own orbit, and every word pulled us closer to a gravity I wasn’t sure I could resist anymore.
“That means a lot, Roxie,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. He shifted closer, his hand hovering at my elbow before he pulled it back again, like he was afraid to touch me and this would all dissolve into an argument once more.
“I never expected you to read them,” he breathed. “I just needed somewhere for all the things I wanted to say to you to go. All the things I couldn’t tell anyone else but you.”
My eyes burned as a few tears escaped down my face. I squeezed my eyes shut, desperately trying to contain them. “I’m not sure if I should be sorry or sad for not reaching out over the past months.”
“Neither,” he said. “Because I think we needed it. Or at least I did. To get my head on straight. But I never stopped thinking about you the entire time. I don’t think I ever will.”
The words cut straight through me. I desperately wanted to embrace him and forget everything else. But the part of me that remembered losing him was screaming that I wouldn’t survive if I let it happen a third time.
“I don’t know what to do with this, Sebastian,” I admitted, hoping my trembling hands wouldn’t show just how much I was struggling not to reach out for him.
But it was him who reached for me first. His fingers barely touched mine as I held onto my camera strap.
“Nothing,” he said, voice rough. “I don’t expect anything. I’m just happy that you know that I tried. That I’ve been trying every damn day since you told me to leave the gallery. To be a better person. For you, yes. But more importantly, for me.”
I looked up at him, and for the first time since he returned to my life all those months ago, I truly saw him.
I could still see the familiar, put-together image he projected.
But underneath, I saw the boy I’d once loved when we were teenagers wishing for the entire world together.
The boy who used to sneak me snacks during study breaks, who kissed me on his sailboat and who promised he’d never let me go.
And standing here now, I knew he never would.
“Sebastian …” My voice trembled.
He raised his hand, his fingers hesitating for a moment before lightly brushing against my cheek. “You still feel it too,” he said quietly.
I didn’t have to give an answer. The way I looked at him probably said it all.
The distance between us disappeared as if it were never there. His mouth captured mine. And God help me, I kissed him back.
The intoxicating taste of his mouth, with its familiar heat, sent shivers down my spine as his hand moved to the nape of my neck.
The memories surged back with overwhelming force.
Every kiss we shared, every secret promise whispered in the darkness, every heartbreak and regret we’d endured. It was all here. It was all of us.
When we finally broke apart, breathless, I could feel his heartbeat under my palm. My own rose and fell in time with his.
His forehead rested against mine, his breath uneven as he searched my face.
“Roxie …” His voice was quiet, but it carried everything. Every regret. Every hope. Every piece of him that he’d been holding back.
I swallowed, my fingers curling slightly into his tux, afraid that if I let go, this all might disappear.
“I love you,” Sebastian said, the words coming out steady despite the emotion in his eyes. “I always have. I don’t think there was ever a version of my life where I didn’t.”
Something deep inside me finally gave way.
“I love you, too,” I whispered, the truth slipping out like it had been waiting far too long to be said. “I don’t think I ever really stopped. I just … didn’t know if loving you was enough to keep us going.”
“It wasn’t,” he admitted quietly. “Not before. I gave you every reason not to trust me.” His hand came up again as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
“But seeing you … these past months. Watching you build something that’s yours made me believe I could do the same. That I could be more than who I was.”
He shook his head slightly, a soft smile touching his lips. “You were my inspiration. You still are.”
My heart ached in the best, most terrifying way.
“And I know I don’t deserve it yet,” he said, more firmly now, “but I want the chance to prove to you that you can trust me again. That I can be someone you can rely on.”
A shaky laugh slipped past my lips as I wiped at my eyes.
“You know,” I said. “It’s kind of funny.”
His brows furrowed slightly. “What is?”
“I spent so long trying to prove to the world that I’m more than just a trust fund baby.” I let out a breath, my lips curving faintly. “And somehow, I still end up with one anyway.”
Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Leave it to you to make light of this situation.”
“I’m not,” I said. “Okay, maybe a little. But … you know what I mean.”
“Guess that means I have a shot?” he added, a hint of that old confidence slipping through.
I tilted my head, playing with him. “A small one.”
He laughed. “I guess that’s fair enough. But don’t worry, I’m going to make the most of it. You know why?”
“Why?” I quipped back, rising on my tiptoes to kiss him again, slowly.
When we parted, his fingers tightened around mine, like he wasn’t planning on letting go this time.
“Because, Roxie King, I love you. I always have, always will. And sure,” he said, pulling me closer to him. “I might be a trust fund baby, but you can trust me.”