Chapter 30
Karissa
Emma’s finally asleep, and aside from the sound of me crying, it’s nearly silent. I haven’t made it to bed yet. I know I should, I’ve got an early morning, but I don’t want to. Because the second I close my eyes, it becomes tomorrow.
And tomorrow means leaving. I’m not ready for that.
Then I hear a truck. A diesel. It’s Cody, it has to be.
I cross into the kitchen and pull open the side door just as he reaches for it.
Our eyes meet. His are red, like he’s been crying too.
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and steps inside, shutting the door behind him.
My body tenses, tingly and nervous, on the verge of falling apart, even though he hasn’t said a word.
He shifts his footing, then clears his throat.
And when he looks at me—really looks at me—I forget how to breathe.
“I’m not ready,” he whispers, voice barely steady. “I’m not ready to come back here tomorrow and not find you. To not hear Emma crying while we figure out what she needs. To not see you in those ridiculous oversized T-shirts with spit-up or milk stains on them.” A single tear falls down his cheek.
My vision blurs, and my heart feels like it’s going to split.
He shakes his head, voice cracking again. “I’m not ready.” He swallows and then another tear escapes. “Don’t you wanna stay?” he asks.
“Cody…” I whisper, but my voice cracks too.
He steps forward, his rough, calloused hand finding my cheek, and he presses his lips to mine. I don’t stop him.
The intensity hits deeper than the last time, like he’s pouring every unsaid word into the way his mouth moves against mine. It’s comfort. It’s connection. It’s him telling me without words that he feels this too.
When he pulls back, his breathing is uneven, and he brushes my hair behind my ear.
“Stay,” he murmurs.
I search his face; his eyes are still red. I see the ache, the hope, the wreckage.
“I’m in love with you, Karissa. I need you both to stay,” he adds.
My chin trembles as I nod. “I love you too,” I say on a breath. “I tried not to, but I failed.”
He smiles. “Me too.” He steps forward, kissing me again. This time hungrier, more desperate.
His fingers slip under the hem of my shirt. At first I don’t know if he meant to do it, but when his palms flatten against my bare skin and stay, my breath hitches against his mouth. His hands grip my hips as he backs me into the kitchen cabinets and deepens the kiss.
He lifts me up onto the counter with ease, like it’s instinct, and steps between my legs. My hands find his hair and our mouths continue to move against one another’s.
Before I know it, his hands roam under my shirt, over my back and then my ribs. The tips of his fingers brushing under the edge of my bra clasp. My body warms, adrenaline increasing rapidly. I want him.
I kiss him harder, fingers twisting in his hair. A sigh slips out of me, desperate and aching. Every nerve in my body is on fire.
My hand slides beneath the hem of his shirt, fingertips brushing warm skin as I find his belt. I fumble with it for only a second before his hand grabs onto mine quickly. He pulls back just enough for our eyes to meet, his chest heaving.
“We need to stop,” he murmurs, his voice raw.
I nod. He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “I want to—so bad—but we can’t.”
I rest my hands on his shoulders and I nod. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”
He grabs me, lowering me to the ground. I watch him pace around the kitchen, hands on his hips like he’s at a war with his body.
“You okay?”
“I just need a second.”
I laugh and mutter. “You started it.”
“I know. I’ll pay for it tomorrow too,” he jokes.
I laugh and look around at all the boxes.
“So, I’ll just move back in with you?”
“Yeah. But I’ll crash at the big house for the season.”
My eyebrows pull in. “What? Why?”
He leans back against the counter, arms crossed. “Because we can’t be under the same roof. Not with the way things are between us now.” He gestures to me. “We’d be doing it right here in the kitchen had I not been thinking with the right head just then.”
I laugh louder than I mean, because he’s right.
“I love you. And I want you. But I also want to do it right this time. I’ve already lived with regret.
I’m not doing it twice.” He shakes his head.
“If we decide to get married someday, we won’t have to do this, but for now, living separately is just part of it,” he says, low and gentle.
Like he knows it’s not what I was expecting.
I look back to him, overwhelmed with my feelings toward him. I sigh slowly. “I’d marry you tomorrow, Cody.”
A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Let’s get through this season first.”
“Then we’ll talk?” I blush.
He stands in front of me, leaning in slow. “Then we’ll talk.” He kisses me softly.
* * *
The next morning, Cody knocks once before letting himself in. I glance at the clock—8 a.m., just like we said.
“Good morning,” I say with a smile, making my way over. I cross my arms up behind his neck and kiss him.
“Good morning,” he replies.
“What’s the plan?” I ask.
“Well…” He laughs. “When they all show up here in a few minutes, I figured we could tell them together.”
My body hiccups. “Oh boy.” I laugh. “This will be interesting.”
If I were him, I would’ve told the family, texted the group chat or something. I’m not one for big, orchestrated moments, especially when it involves me being the center of attention. But Cody? He likes the whole let’s-just-rip-the-Band-Aid-off-and-watch-the-chaos-unfold approach.
And honestly…part of me kind of loves that about him.
“They’ll be excited,” he assures me. “I talked to my parents last night before I came back over anyway.”
I hear the sound of a truck pulling up outside. My stomach knots with nerves and I let out an uneven sigh. Both of us are standing here, waiting, and my heart beats faster with every second.
And then the door swings open. Standing there is…everyone—Mason, Jesse, Addie, Wesley, Ella, Cora, and Cody’s parents. And they are all staring at us like they know but are waiting for confirmation.
Cody clears his throat. “Yeah, so…we’re just gonna take it all over to my place.”
Everyone erupts, clapping and cheering. Laughter echoing from all corners of the room. In the midst of Mason patting Cody’s shoulder and Jesse tossing out an “I told you so,” Addie and Maureen weave their way through the chaos to wrap me in a hug, both of them beaming, excited for me, for us.
Then Emma screeches from the bouncy seat, overwhelmed by all the noise.
I slip away to scoop her up, pressing a soft kiss to her head. Cradling her close, I glance back at everyone, all of them talking at once, swapping theories about when they figured it out, how they’d had a feeling for weeks that something was happening between us.
I look down at Emma, my heart swelling with such an intense love.
“Sweetheart,” I whisper, “we’re in the best hands we could be. Trust me.”