36. Emory
36
EMORY
I hover over the button on the TV screen that’s asking if I’m still watching. Yes, judgmental television, I am still watching Alaska House Hunters for the third hour in a row, thank you very much. I’ve only been off from work for three days, and I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. Today is my usual day off, and even though I needed to be home to deal with everything for the last two days, I feel like I could have used the distraction of the bustling emergency room.
It doesn’t help that he’s so close. It’s as if an invisible tether binds us together and tugs at my heart every so often. It also doesn’t help that my traitorous brain keeps replaying our conversation on repeat.
I’ve known you were it for me since that night in the library.
He can’t possibly have meant that. No one can know that after talking to someone about Twilight for five minutes. But he said maybe longer. Meaning he knew before that night? I think I may have loved him before that night too. Does that mean I can forgive him for going behind my back and doing exactly the same thing I was angry at Nate for? But I forgave Nate…sort of.
The couch dips, and I glance over to see Allie curled in a blanket with her laptop. She starts typing on it, turning her attention to the TV every once in a while.
“Deadline?” I ask.
“It’s not really a deadline when I make it for myself and keep pushing it back.”
“True,” I say. Allie has been acting weird since I walked out on Luke yesterday. I’m not sure if he said anything to her, but when I got back from the grocery store, there was no trace of him. I had expected that. I was the one who told him to be gone when I got back, after all. The weird thing is that Allie didn’t ask me what happened. Nate updated her on everything that went down since Luke was released, but she never asked why I stormed out of the house minutes after reuniting with him, which is odd. Normally, she would have hounded me the second I got home.
“Okay, what the hell, Allie,” I finally yell.
She blinks innocently. “What?”
“You know what. You’ve been giving me one-word answers and being weird since Luke was here yesterday. And you didn’t even ask what happened with him. Did he say something to you?”
Allie purses her lips and sets her laptop down on the coffee table.
“He told me not to make any rash decisions until I heard the whole story, and then he left.”
“Okay…so why haven’t you asked me for the whole story?”
“Because you’re an adult, Emory. I’m tired of chasing you down. If you want to tell me what happened, tell me. If not, I’m going to get back to this article that’s due in two hours.”
“Can’t you just move the deadline back?”
That earns me one of her epic glares.
“I just—I don’t want you to hate him.”
She quirks an eyebrow. “But it’s okay for you to?”
“I don’t hate him.” I pick up the remote and hit the mute button. “Far from it.”
“Then why did you walk out on him?”
I turn to look at her. “Didn’t you ever wonder how Luke got Jaxon to meet him? He doesn’t know him or anything about him.”
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think about it,” she answers honestly.
“He went through my phone when I was sleeping, Allie. I told him everything that happened in college, and he waited until I was asleep, found my conversation with Jaxon, and pretended to be me so he could set up a meeting with him.”
Allie looks thoughtful for a moment before her face twists in confusion.
“Okay. What else did he do?”
“What do you mean, what else did he do? He beat the shit out of Jaxon and threatened to kill him if he ever talked to me again. Then he got arrested. You know that part.”
“Yeah, I know. I mean, what else did he do to make you so mad?”
“That’s—” I’m not sure what she’s getting at, but the look on her face is dead serious. “That’s it. He went through my fucking phone, Allie. He took matters into his own hands without consulting me, just like Nate did.”
“Yeah, that sucks. And I will kick his ass for it if you want me to, but…”
“But what?
“Both times, what Nate did and what Luke did, the end justified the means, right? If Nate hadn’t threatened Jaxon to leave town, you might have gone and married him. And Luke…he was defending you. Protecting you. You told the man who loves you beyond words every twisted detail of what that douchebag put you through. Can you really blame him for wanting to knock the guy out?”
Anger ignites low in my belly, and I stand up with more force than necessary. “He didn’t do it for me,” I yell. “He did it to assuage his own anger at the situation.”
“Maybe. But?—”
“But what?”
She looks down in hesitation. “Look, I know this makes me a hypocrite of epic proportions, but maybe if had you told him about Jaxon sooner, this would have turned out differently. I know that’s hard to hear. Believe me, I do.”
My anger melts as regret seeps in. God, I hate how right she is. He was so patient, and I kept him in the dark at every turn.
“You’ve been hurt, Em. Bad. I get it. But I don’t think I would be a good friend if I didn’t remind you how happy you have been these past couple of months. I’m not saying marry the guy, but…”
“You don’t even believe in love,” I say quietly.
“I don’t believe in it for me, but I think it exists for other people. When I saw the look in his eyes when he was leaving yesterday…that boy’s got it bad, Em.”
I huff out a long breath and sit back down next to her, my arms crossed defiantly. I sneak a glance at her, but she’s back to staring at the screen, the show playing silently in the background.
“You think so?” I ask with hesitation.
“I know so,” she says, finally looking at me. “Neither of you has experience being in a healthy relationship. I’m assuming—I didn’t get the vibe that he was the relationship type before you. Anyway, you’re learning as you go. You’re going to make mistakes. But Emory, that night at the bar…you were so frustrating. You were being a Grade A brat, but he didn’t yell. He didn’t make you feel bad or ashamed. I watched him. He took a deep breath and distracted you. With drive-thru chicken nuggets because you’re a literal child, but it doesn’t matter how he did it.” She throws the blanket off dramatically and looks me dead in the eye. “Emory, he fucking tap-danced for you.”
My eyes go wide and my breathing hitches. He tap-danced for me? I must have told Allie that story a hundred times, and now she’s using it to convince me. But when I really think about it, he did. He distracted me. He didn’t start a screaming match. He didn’t blame me. He took me to do something that he knew would make me happy in that moment. He tap-danced . Metaphorically, of course. Although I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me as I picture him actually tap-dancing.
Fuck, I’m an idiot.
“Yeah,” Allie says. I guess I said that out loud.
“Shit, Allie. I have to go talk to him.”
“Yeah,” she says again. And then she presses the unmute button, picks up her laptop, and continues to type as if she didn’t just change my entire life with a single sentence.
“Hey, Al.”
“Mmm?” she hums absentmindedly.
“Thank you. You are a good friend. I’m sorry for how I reacted the other night. I know you were looking out for me when you told Nate. I’m still not happy you went behind my back, but…I get it.”
She flashes one of her rare smiles. “I will always fight for you, with you, beside you…whatever.”
“I know.”
Her gentle smile morphs into a determined smirk. “Now go get your damn man.”