Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Arizona
M cQuade’s always had a cozy, chill vibe whenever one walked in. However, the vibe tonight was clearly that of a celebration.
The place was lively, energetic, and packed, with everyone dressed for the occasion. In the corner of the room, near the two pool tables, a large brown kraft paper banner covered the wall with the words “Congratulations Boden it’s been far too long.”
“Sounds good.” After a quick hug, I turned on my heel, only to slam into a rigid wall of muscle.
Usually, Jameson towered over my five-foot-eight stature, but with my three-inch heels on, I found myself almost eye level with his mouth as his hands landed on my hips to help steady me.
Some people believed eyes were considered windows to the soul, so did that mean his lips served as a doorway to his being? I wondered as delicate lines formed around his mouth, creasing into a smile that exuded warmth and a subtle hint of satisfaction that I couldn’t grasp.
“Ari,” he murmured my name without a hint of surprise as if he had half-anticipated our encounter.
“Jameson,” I countered, taking in his thick, chestnut-brown hair that appeared unusually tousled as if he had run his fingers through it countless times over before dropping my gaze to his attire.
He was dressed in a crisp, black button-up dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms and charcoal gray dress pants tailored to perfection. When he wasn’t in his firefighter gear, he was usually in sweats or jeans and a T-shirt, so seeing him looking so dapper sent a kaleidoscope of butterflies a flurry in my stomach, which threatened to throw my axis off balance.
Adding more fuel to the fire was his rugged cologne, a scent that was unmistakably his—a blend of earthy woods, a side of spice, and an underlining touch of vanilla. With each breath I took, I felt pulled under his hypnotic spell.
“You’re so damned beautiful, Ari,” he said, barely loud enough for me to hear, while his hands shifted from my hips to wrap around my back, pulling our bodies flush.
We locked eyes as my mind worked overtime to deny the parts of my body that tingled under his touch with a need left unsatisfied for far too long. I watched as his eyes dropped to my lips, and suddenly, the air was past the point of being electrically charged. Everything around us ceased to exist until a voice pulled me back to reality.
“Jameson, let the girl go; she’s got a hot date.”
Brooke’s words were like a cold bucket of water. My eyes widened in alarm, realizing the severity of my error. I jolted out of his embrace and turned quickly toward the bar, needing to get my head on straight.
“What is wrong with me?” I muttered in disgust under my breath and polished off what remained in my champagne flute.
“I can take that for you.”
I saw Cavan extending his hand out over the bar for my glass.
“Would you like another?” he asked.
“Sure, in a minute, I’m just going to run to the ladies’ room.”
After I made my way through the crowd, I felt an enormous wave of relief wash over me upon discovering the ladies’ room was empty. I quickly locked the main door and leaned against it, shaking my head in disbelief at how I had reacted to Jameson’s touch. What bothered me the most was the understanding that he was aware of the effect he had on me. Recognition brimmed with heat in his captivating eyes that he had gotten under my skin in a way that I couldn’t deny, and that realization gave him a certain power over me.
God, he made me so dammed frustrated!
He made me want what I can’t have.
Him.
After I did some calming breathing techniques and a quick mirror check, I exited the bathroom. My date should be at the bar by now, so I’d have to find Boden and Lakelyn later to offer my congratulations.
“Here you go, Arizona.” Cavan handed me another champagne flute when I returned.
“Thank you.” I chose a stool at the far end of the bar, somewhat distanced from the festivities yet positioned to give me a clear view of the door so that my date could easily find me.
I texted Lily.
Me: I’m not sure I can do this.
Lily: What, why? Did something happen, or are you just nervous?
Me: Both.
Lily: I get it; meeting someone for the first time can be totally nerve-wracking! I’m just glad you chose a local place where you’re comfortable and know the owner, etc. It was a smart move because you’ve got backup on standby if things get weird!
Me: Yeah, well, right now, I’m seriously regretting this choice. He’s also late, so it’s not looking promising.
“Folks, I’ll have you know that this right here,” the music in the bar turned down, and I looked up from my phone to see Jaxon, Jameson’s twin brother, with a beer raised over his head, “this drink will go down in history as the most expensive drink I’ve ever had the pleasure of lifting for a toast.”
Everyone cheered in laughter, me included, even when I wished I was invisible at that moment.
“Why, might you ask that is? Well, to put it simply, I’m a gambling man. I bet against my big brother Jameson and all the infinite wisdom bestowed upon him because he was born a whole five minutes before me, and I lost.” I risked a glance toward Jameson; his eyes had been locked in my direction until the attention in the room turned to him for a beat. “It’s a rare occurrence, but that’s neither here nor there at the end of the day because, ladies and gentlemen, my wallet is a thousand dollars lighter, and I couldn’t be any happier about it.”
A united chorus of gasps and laughter blended together as everyone’s attention turned to Boden and Lakelyn, where they stood locked in an embrace. The way she looked up at him, grinning ear to ear, the same sentiment returned by him, there was no denying they were hopelessly in love, and it made me so happy that Boden had found his happiness.
He and I were part of a club that no child wanted to join at an early age: the lost parent club. I was just eight when I lost my mom, while Boden was of legal age when both his parents were tragically killed in a plane crash, and he took over guardianship of his younger sister, Brooke.
Aside from his commitment to the police force, he devoted himself entirely to Brooke. He was the best big brother anyone could wish for; even after she married her husband, Luke, their bond only strengthened.
While he was genuinely happy for his sister, I quietly suspected he shielded himself away from the thought of finding his own special someone to share his life with. Then Lakelyn moved to our little town, seeking privacy from those who thought she owed them an explanation of her life. Her presence breathed new life into Boden, which was truly inspiring to witness. It planted a seed of hope that maybe I shouldn’t be so closed off, so I allowed Lily to convince me to give the dating app another try.
Lily: Really?
Me: Yep!
I sighed, and of all the nights.
Lily: His loss!
Me: Maybe, however, that doesn’t make me feel any less foolish. To make matters worse, my blind date coincided with an impromptu engagement party Brooke is throwing for Boden and his fiancée, Lakelyn, and you know what that means . . .
Lily:The guys are all there?
Me: Exactly, with one certain someone here to witness my downfall.
That was the problem with living in a small town; everyone knew everyone. It was both a blessing and a curse. At the same time, I’d willingly accepted this as my reality in exchange for staying close to my dad; a day like today was a challenge and had me questioning ifmaybeI needed a slight change of scenery. After all, I visited Lily in Rockwood often. Tara commuted there three days a week, and it’s where my date was driving in from, so it wasn’t too far in the grand scheme of things.
Lily: Don’t let Jameson mess with your head. You’re stronger than that; own it. You’ve totally got this.
“Now, most of you know this already, but Lakelyn,” Jaxon addressed the room, “I don’t just have two brothers; I’ve got three because that man of yours—he’s one of the best goddamn men that I know.” He pointed at Boden with a beer in hand. “Boden, your determination and drive to press on through the toughest of life’s obstacles has been inspiring to witness. Your morals and integrity when it comes to protecting those you care for are commendable. You’re loyal to a fault, and I’ve got nothing but pure respect for you, my man.” He paused, seemingly needing a second to gather himself. “And now, to see you find your other half, it’s a day, admittedly, I wasn’t sure would come, but I’m glad as hell it did and that I’m fortunate enough to witness you experience all you so rightfully deserve.”
I fought back my wavering emotions and internally echoed his kind sentiments. Boden was one-of-a-kind, and he deserved to find his person.
“So, please, will you join me in raising a glass and toasting the happy couple. Here’s to Boden and Lakelyn and what’s to come as you embark on this next chapter.”
“Here, here,” everyone chanted in celebration and took sips of their drinks.
I finished my champagne and felt pure joy in my heart as Boden dipped Lakelyn backward and gave her a passionate kiss straight out of a fairy tale.
“Did you want another?” Cavan leaned against the bar’s edge and jutted his chin toward the empty glass in my hand.
I really ought to say no and head out, yet for some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t stop myself from making another bad decision. “Actually, I’ll take a tequila shot.”
Cavan didn’t miss a beat or shoot me the look of sympathy I deserved, which I appreciated. “Just so you know, the guy you were supposed to meet doesn’t deserve to share the same air as you.”
I smiled and lifted the shot glass to my lips.
Wait, what?
My lips parted in shock. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
“The guy you were supposed to meet—the blind date?” His brows furrowed.
“He was here?” I looked back over my shoulder at the door as if that would have somehow explained things. “Oh my God, are you telling me he saw me and left?”
Someone, seriously, kill me now!
“Nah. You’re gorgeous, Arizona. The guy was early and seemed really nervous. Jameson chatted him up for a few minutes before he dipped.”
Oh, no, he didn’t.
“Are you serious right now?” I couldn’t contain my fury.
The look on Cavan’s face was all the confirmation I needed, as did Jameson’s when I spun around on the stool and was met with his irritatingly pompous, panty-dropping grin from across the bar.
The nerve of that man.
My blood was boiling much like the back of my throat as I threw the tequila shot back and sat for a minute, stewing in my feelings, volleying between disbelief, annoyance, and rage, with the latter taking precedence.
Who the hell did he think he was?
It was one thing to be deemed unworthy by a blind date, but it was an entirely different beast to know Jameson thought of me as unworthy. That realization stabbed away at me like a remorseless second-hand tick on a clock. With each passing second, the wound deepened until I felt suffocated.
Desperate for a reprieve, I set some bills down on the bar top and pushed my stool back, nearly stumbling over my two left feet as I cursed the invisible chokehold Jameson had over me and made my way toward the back hallway. However, this time, seeking refuge inside the private confines of Ryan’s office.
A storm raged within my chest as I pressed my palms against the desk, illuminated solely by the soft glow of an antique lamp. I struggled to regain my breath as a surge of emotions overwhelmed me. I hated feeling weak and not in control of my feelings. Jameson’s effect on me was beyond maddening, and yet it wasn’t anything new. One second, I’d think I had him all figured out, and the next, he brought me to my knees.
Did he get off on watching me fail?
Did he strive to be a perpetual thorn in my side?
The rowdy sounds of the bar suddenly filled the room as the door opened and closed swiftly behind me. I knew it was him before I turned around; his scent had been fully engrained in my brain for all eternity.
“You still running, Red?”
I straightened my spine, minus the nerves working overtime to thwart my resolve.
“If it means keeping my personal space intact from you, then yes.” I turned around, only to be greeted by his signature cocky smirk, which I swear he reserved solely for me.
One that invited the burden of both temptation and consequence, forcing me to dig deep to maintain my composure.
“Ah, come on, I think you like me crowding your personal space.” His tone was smooth as velvet as he took tentative steps to close the distance between us, causing me to back up until I was perched on Ryan’s desk with nowhere else to go.
The dim lighting cast shadows on his face, heightening the intense feeling of rivalry that simmered beneath the surface.
“And what gives you that impression?” I asked.
“Your telltale signs.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said desperately, trying to ignore the growing dampness in my panties.
“Oh, yes, you do, Ari. It’s just you and me in here. Let your guard down; give into this desire I know you have for me.”
“Cocky much?” I scoffed.
“You have no idea.”
My blood pumped hot through my veins while the anger that simmered beneath the surface, begging to be unleashed, shifted toward a different energy. Dark and buzzing with an undercurrent of excitement. His touch poured more gasoline on the fire while tingles danced up my spine when the tips of his fingers skirted across my thighs toward the hem of my little black dress.
“That’s where you’re wrong; I know all about you, Jameson.”
His lips ghosted a path across my cheek as his heavenly scent enveloped me. “And what am I thinking about right now?”
“How badly you want to get on your knees for me.”
“You have no fucking idea, Red.” He punctured his desire by scissoring his teeth over my earlobe and digging his fingers fiercely into my hips.
My lips parted as my head lolled back on my shoulders. My legs uncrossed in silent permission, and I prayed to the gods above for all the heavenly strength I needed to walk out of this room with my dignity intact. A task that felt overly ambitious as I watched him lower himself before me with a heated gaze hot enough to scorch us both.
“I can already smell your desire, Ari, and you smell fucking fantastic.”
Willing myself to play his game, I lifted my leg, placed the arch of my high-heeled boot on his shoulder, and was rewarded with a gleam of satisfaction.
“The real thing is better than every fantasy I’ve ever had about you,” he damn near growled.
But with a teasing sparkle aimed in his direction, I gave him a little nudge backward, allowing me space to stand. At the same time, confusion flashed across his expression before it quickly transitioned into something darker.
“Too bad for you then because I’ve got a vibrator that I can guarantee gets me off better than you ever could.”
Jameson’s fingers circled my wrist as he hurriedly raised to his full height, walking me backward until my back pressed against the only exit that could grant me refuge.
“You want to play with fire, Ari? Because my need to tame it is what gets me off, so you’ll need to up your game if you think this little stunt will deter me.”
My breath hitched when his hands gripped my hips and squeezed. If my panties weren’t already wet with desire for this man a minute ago, they sure as hell now just disintegrated. However, I will die on the hill before I ever admit to anyone, Jameson included, how his dominating stature eviscerated all my rational thoughts.
“I won’t be another name in your little black book of conquests.”
“This act I put on, pretending to be a playboy . . . it’s all a facade. For far too long, I’ve let you believe what you wanted because, if I’m being honest, you hurt my pride a long time ago. I still, to this day, have zero clue why you suddenly stopped talking to me. Why do you hate me so damn much? I know I was young, stupid, and naive, but I cared about you; you were the first—fuck, you’re the only girl I’ve ever wanted, and despite your feelings, I’ve never once stopped caring about you. So bait me all you want, sweetheart, because I’ll take you any way I can have you. All this back and forth between us, it’s the best fucking kind of foreplay there is.”
The air was thick with palpable tension as embers ignited, leaving us at an impasse where we stood inches apart. The warmth of our breaths intertwined, and each heartbeat drew us closer to the breaking point.
His hands affectionately cupped the sides of my face as his eyes gleamed with desire, daring me to meet him halfway before his restraint snapped. “Fuck it.”
Our lips met in a passionate collision of anger and longing. The searing, territory-marking kiss stole my breath, made me dizzy, and left me unexpectedly yearning for more when he pulled back and pinned me with an unwavering gaze.
“Tell me you feel this connection between us and that I’m not alone here,” he implored, his voice tinged with hope that hung faintly on the edge of his words.
He wasn’t. I wanted to confirm his suspicion, yet my fears surpassed my ability to let my guard down, especially since I didn’t trust him not to shatter my heart.
“Stop looking at me like I’m yours.” It pained me to say.
“I can’t because that would be a lie.”