Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Jameson
“ F uck,” I groaned under my breath.
I was wound up tight, my nerves buzzing as restless energy rattled my psyche, and the push-ups I had just finished did nothing to curb the adrenaline surging through my veins.
When Arizona suggested I remove my turnout gear, my mind raced from zero to a hundred in a nano-second with anticipation. But that excitement quickly faded when I realized she just wanted to switch things up and snap a few photos of me in my black button-up shirt and dress pants.
I stood in front of my mirror, buttoning up my shirt, and questioned whether I felt off-balanced because I was so accustomed to projecting overconfidence or if it was something more.
My stomach was in knots.
Not only was Arizona in my home, but we were also getting along. Our banter was friendly rather than taunting, and it filled me with a sense of hope for the first time in a long time that maybe we’d bridged the gap from enemies to friends.
I’d always been hopeful I could break through her tough-girl exterior, however, now that there was an opening, I found myself on edge, fearful of fucking up any chance I had with her.
Did she feel the attraction?
It was there once before, then poof, I was enemy number one.
“Enough, just get your dumbass back out there.” I sighed to myself and jammed my shirt into my dress pants.
When I got back to the living room, Ari was sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest, staring longingly into the Christmas tree.
She was so beautiful.
At that moment, even a picture-perfect angel would fall short of capturing the essence of her aura.
I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and quickly snapped a photo before announcing my arrival. Only once she heard me approaching did I notice her cheeks were damp with tears.
“Ari, what?—”
She quickly wiped them away and stood, hiding herself from me.
“Did I do something?”
“No, no, it’s not you. Christmas makes me emotional.”
“Because of your mom?”
She blinked her tears back in surprise at my question.
“I’ve heard you mention it was her favorite time of year.”
I knew she and her dad did everything they could to honor her memory by carrying on her traditions. Dustin and I have always gotten along; he was also still close with my parents, and I would often swing by with baked treats from my mom on my way home. Something I kept to myself and had a feeling Dustin did, too.
“When?” She tucked her lips between her teeth, willing herself to bite back her emotions if I had to guess.
“I pay attention.” I stepped closer, just within reach, to gently brush my thumb along the delicate curve of her cheek, wiping away the dampness. Her lips parted in surprise, sending a jolt of awareness through us, snapping us both back to our senses.
“Okay, um . . . yeah, this look works better.” Her eyes did a quick perusal of me from head to toe. “Let’s repeat the poses in front of the tree and maybe undo your dress shirt’s top two or three buttons.”
The moment was over before it started as her professional mask slid back into place. Whoever said posing was easy never stood in my shoes because I was fighting an uphill battle, torn between coaxing her out of her shell and wanting to lay my feelings on the table.
I dug deep, piercing the lens with everything I had while trepidation stared back at me. There was fear mixed with longing hiding behind her eyes. She was a woman who had experienced the loss of a parent at a young age, and while mine were still very much alive and blissfully in love, albeit embarrassingly so sometimes, I wasn’t naive enough to discount how that experience could profoundly shape a person’s outlook on life.
Arizona dated here and there but never seemed overly interested in putting herself out there. Yet, she gave absolutely everything she had in the tank to her dad, friends, and the job. I was constantly in awe of her selfless spirit, always going the extra mile for those in her circle.
I wanted to be in that circle.
I desperately wanted to be the man she’d let in her heart because she’d owned mine for as long as I could remember.
“Okay, we’re almost done here. Now, take the lid off the box and tilt it upward off the back.”
Her finger clicked away on the camera’s trigger button.
“I think that’s it,” she announced, pulling me from my thoughts. “Whatever I don’t submit for the calendar, I can give you to post on your socials.”
“Not necessary. I deleted my accounts a while ago. It wasn’t really my thing.” Not when the only attention I wanted was from her, I thought absentmindedly, as I dropped the empty present to the floor and plucked a candy cane off my tree, pulling at the plastic wrap while she grabbed her bag and hurried toward the front door.
“You’re always in a rush to leave when I’m around.”
“It’s late and?—”
“And . . .” I followed her over and leaned against the wall with a smirk, knowing damn well I was about to play with fire.
She eyed me with suspicion, and rightfully so.
I pulled the candy cane from between my lips, all the while loving the feel of her eyes on me. Heated with hunger. Questioning if, given a choice, would she rather have a taste of me or lick the stripes off my candy cane?
I wasn’t a betting man like my other half, but my desire to know was strong.
“You claim to love Christmas just as much as I do, and yet, if you’re not careful, you’re about to commit a cardinal sin.”
Her brows knitted together in confusion before she froze, her eyes widening in alarm. I longed to run the edge of my tongue up the column of her neck as she tilted her chin up. The second her eyes landed on the mistletoe, she gasped and took a tentative step back.
As if that would save her from me.
“Willing to chance bad luck?”
“Jameson.”
“Ari,” I bantered and stepped forward, willing her to meet me halfway.
Instead, she gave me her back and slipped her shoes on.
I tossed the candy cane on the kitchen counter behind me and jammed my hands in my pants pockets before I did something reckless. The need to pull her into my sphere was too potent. But then she shocked the shit out of me as I wallowed in the depths of my self-inflicted pity when her hands grabbed me by the sides of my head and tugged me forward.
God, she was a drug.
A drug I was addicted to even though I’d only ever tasted her mouth.
I was a goner.
Hopelessly and unapologetically.
Her lips were soft, faltering, almost as if she were testing the waters. Caught somewhere between her desire to keep me locked in the box she’d put me in long ago, the one that held the key to why she’d avoided me like the plague until now, where the air was palpable, steeped in a tradition she couldn’t ignore.
Hints of peppermint burst across my lips; her taste was so outright addictive it would live on in my memory for eternity.
No one compared to Ari, and no one ever would.
My need for her was the only direction my inner compass knew.
As we stood beneath the mistletoe, she breathed life into me, intensifying my desire to claim her as mine. However, the instant my hand curled over her hips, the temptation too great to resist, she pulled back.
While our connection had been broken, the impact of our kiss was undeniable; the rosy blush dusting over her cheeks was all the confirmation I needed.
“You happy now?” she asked.
“Very.”
Truthfully, I wasn’t just happy; I was fucking ecstatic.
Over the moon.
The feeling that I was finally beginning to make real progress in getting her to lower her defenses around me filled me with colossal hope because, with each interaction we shared, I gradually peeled away layers of falsehoods that had prevented her from giving me a real chance and seeing me in a fair light.