Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Jameson
I had just cracked open a beer from the fridge when someone began urgently knocking on my front door.
“Holy moly, where’s the fire?” I muttered aloud as I opened the door and barely had time to react before I caught Arizona’s weight as she threw her arms around my shoulders and buried her head in my neck.
“I know I’m irresistible, but I have to say I’m loving this added layer of enthusiasm, Red.” I chuckled.
She squeezed me even tighter, prompting my hands to run down over the curve of her buttocks until I gripped her thighs, lifted her off the ground, and pressed her back against the door.
It wasn’t until she pulled her head away from my shoulder that I realized I’d gravely misread the situation, and my heart dropped.
“Ari, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Her eyes were puffy with fresh tears that didn’t match the affection of her joyous smile.
With my hips anchoring her weight, I moved my hands to cradle the sides of her head in my palms as my thumbs brushed away the steady current of tears cascading down her rosy cheeks.
“Ari, baby, you’re scaring me.” Her body had a slight tremor, and her breathing was ragged while her eyes were pinched closed.
“You.” She finally breathed before opening her eyes in search of mine.
“Me?” I was so lost that a bubble of dread planted itself in the pit of my stomach.
She nodded before finding her voice. “It was you . . . you were the one who saved my dad.”
I sighed a heavy breath of relief because, fuck; she had me seriously worried.
With her legs wrapped around my waist, I carried her over to the couch and sat us down, with her positioned astride my lap.
The unbridled reverence beaming my way was enough to render me speechless, while a wave of sudden anxiety propelled me into uncharted territory.
“Why didn’t you tell me you saved my dad?”
I hadn’t intentionally omitted the truth from her; I simply hadn’t wanted that to be the reason she saw me in a different light. Just like I didn’t do it for the accolades or recognition, my actions that night were driven by the job, and because I knew it would destroy her if something happened to Dustin.
The thoughts in my mind were clear, yet when it came time to voice them, I drew a blank as my heart rate quickened, hoping she understood the truth behind my actions.
“Jameson,” she rolled her lips between her teeth, “a simple thank you doesn’t feel sufficient.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“Of course I do! I’m forever indebted to you for saving his life but also knowing it could have cost you yours.” Her voice trembled as she pressed her face into my chest, with her tears soaking through my shirt.
“Ari, no.” I ran my hands soothingly up and down her back. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You can’t guarantee me that; no one can.” She sobbed openly.
“You’re right, baby. I can’t, but I can promise I will do everything within my power to return home at the end of every day.”
“I’m sorry, it’s just a lot to process.”
“I get that, and while our jobs serve as a constant reminder that life can change instantly, it also emphasizes the importance of not wasting the time we’re given. Every minute we have is precious.”
As she nodded in understanding, I could sense that her fears were already preparing to build a wall around her heart.
“We’ll take it slow, okay? I just need you to promise me something in return.”
“Anything.” She breathed through a sniffle.
“If your thoughts or worries ever weigh you down, remember, you can talk to me about anything. And if you need some quiet time, we can chill, too. I’ll do whatever you need and support you however I can. Just please don’t shut me out, out of fear, because I think we would both rather spend our time together than live with regrets.”
“How do you do that? How do you see me so clearly when I can’t even string the words together?”
“I’d like to pound my fists on my chest to inflate my ego and say it’s because of all my natural infinite wisdom, but the truth is, I owe that credit to my parents. Being married to a firefighter isn’t easy, and as you can imagine, it comes with its fair share of challenges, especially while raising three rambunctious boys. Still, my mom always maintained she knew the risks, and she’d rather be loved by my dad than not to be loved by him at all.”
“My mom wasn’t even a front-line worker, and yet, my dad said something similar to me after the fire. He felt he was the luckiest man alive to be loved by my mom.”
“The present is all we have, and I, for one, don’t want to waste another second of it not showing you just how much you mean to me.”
I peppered her jaw with butterfly kisses and pressed my palm into the center of her back, bringing her closer to me.
Ari had owned me since high school. Even if she didn’t fully understand the scope of it yet, I was a man determined to make her see that I was worth the risk.
“Want to practice being domesticated with me?”
“What are you talking about?” The lines between her brows creased.
“I was about to make some hamburgers before you nearly broke down my door.”
“I did not.” She playfully smacked my chest with the back of her hand, which I promptly captured and brought to my lips.
“It’s all good, Red; I’ll just tell you the code to the keypad so you can let yourself in next time.”
“That feels like a big step.”
“I’ve got nothing to hide from you; I want you in my space.”
“I like your personal space better.” She circled her hips and kissed me back with slow, languid strokes of her tongue while her fingers wrapped around the back of my head, pulling on my hair.
“Me too, baby, me too.” We made out for a while before I helped her off my lap, and we moved into the kitchen. “Can I get you a drink? Unfortunately, all I have is water or beer.”
“Water’s fine.”
I opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle and the package of ground beef I’d been defrosting.
“Oh, you didn’t mean just throwing frozen burgers on the grill; you meant actually making them from scratch.”
“Of course.” I opened the drawer and pulled out my Santa apron to hand her. “Feel free just to wear the apron and nothing else,” I joked, yet I was half serious.
I watched as she held it up, waiting for her reaction to unfold.
“Wow! I didn’t realize Santa had such an incredible set of abs. I thought he had a belly that shook like a bowl full of jelly, and his pants—well, they’re hanging indecently low, wouldn’t you say? I’m not sure this is child-friendly. Honestly, though, I think you’re better suited than I am to wear this.”
“Sadly, I agree, well not with the abs part because, let’s be honest, the real deal is better”—I rubbed my hand over mine—“I’ll have to get a Mrs. Claus one for you.”
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
“Oh, I’m threatening; come here, Red.”
She stepped into me effortlessly as her body softened and molded into mine.
“What am I going to do with you?” she murmured against my ear before taking the edge and scissoring it between her teeth.
“Stick around, and you’ll find out.”
“That seriously has got to be the best homemade burger I’ve ever had.”
She’d just finished her last bite and was looking very satiated. Meanwhile, I was sitting across from her at my patio table in the backyard, fighting a battle of my own as her incessant little moans of pleasure had left me embarrassingly hard.
“I’m glad you liked it.”
“It was so, so, so good and worth the crazy garlic breath I have now.” She covered her mouth with her delicate fingers.
“At least we’re in the same boat on that front. I have extra toothbrushes from the dentist under the cabinet in my bathroom if you’d like to go and freshen up.”
“I think I’ll take you up on that.”
“Have at it.” I gestured toward the house. “I’ll join you in a minute.”
I watched as she stood, gathered our plates, and made her way inside my house like it was the most natural thing in the world, something she had done countless times before. Yet, it was the first time—the first of what I hoped would be many evenings spent cooking together and enjoying each other’s company.
When I moved into this house, I wanted to create my own space and gain some distance from Jaxon, as I felt it was time to focus on my future. However, what I hadn’t allowed myself to do was envision sharing it so soon. While a life with Arizona had always been my ultimate goal, watching her move through my home with such ease and comfort had me wondering if she’d consider moving in with me and making this place ours.
Logically, I recognized it was too early for that, and the last thing I wanted to do was overwhelm or spook her, but that didn’t mean the possibility of that dream wasn’t within reach; I just needed to exercise patience and trust that the wheels were already in motion.
With that thought in mind, I went in search of my girl. Discovering her bent over my sink, rinsing her mouth, ignited a yearning within that only she could fulfill.
No sooner had I positioned myself directly behind her than she glanced up and met my reflection in the mirror. I reached around her for the mouthwash and swirled the liquid quickly around in my mouth before spitting it out in the sink. The longing in her eyes stirred a want so deep within me that the air around us crackled with a ferocious intensity when she turned in my arms and pushed up on her toes to kiss me.
Kissing had never been something I particularly enjoyed with other women, but with Ari, it was everything; it unlocked a primal desire deep inside. I could kiss her for hours and still crave more of the sweetness that was so uniquely hers. Soft, yet with an edge of mischief, seeking to be captured, wanting to be appreciated and seen as only the other half of her soul could. The feeling that we were so perfectly matched had made the struggle we faced along our journey worthwhile.
“What do you think about joining me in the hot tub?” I asked.
“I’d say I don’t have a bikini.”
“Hmm, I don’t see that as a problem. You’re simply saving me a step because if you had one, I’d just be removing it anyway.”
“Oh, would you now?”
“Yes, in fact, it’s the house rule on the new tub.”
“Interesting.”
She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and pulled her sweater over her head before sashaying out of the bathroom, leaving a wake of clothing in her path as I stripped down in a nanosecond to join her in the backyard.
I watched Ari intently from my spot across the tub. Her eyes were closed, and her shoulders appeared relaxed as the jets worked their magic, massaging her back and legs. Usually, I wouldn’t say I liked things quiet since it allowed my mind time to wander. I was the type of person who always wanted to stay busy and had music or a documentary playing in the background.
As the sound from the hot tub’s jets filled the night’s air, I found myself surprisingly comfortable in the quiet. Genuinely stress-free and at peace. A feeling I wasn’t confident I’d ever master. Although, I knew it was Ari’s company that allowed me to truly unwind and enjoy the tranquility.
“This is absolute heaven.” While she wasn’t wrong, heaven for me was any time she was under my touch, and right now, she was too far away. “The jets are hitting all the right spots.”
“Are they now?” I shifted forward and reached for her calves under the water until I firmly grasped her and pulled her astride my lap. “What about here?” I slid my thumb between her legs and skimmed her piercing, drawing an illicit moan when I made contact. “Because if the answer is yes, I want you in my arms while you get yourself off.”
I watched with rapt awareness as she held on to my shoulders, fixed her warm hazel eyes on mine, and began to steadily rock her hips back and forth up the length of my harder-than-steel cock.
“Only you can get me off,” she cried out when I thrust my hips up.
The sensations from both our piercings were mind-blowing. Every stroke was in high definition, more vivid and intense than the one before.
Her lips parted, her head lulled back on her shoulders, and her back arched beautifully.
“Only me?” I couldn’t stop myself from grinning against her skin.
“Yes, you’re the only one . . . I want to get me off.”
Nothing had ever sounded more rewarding.
“Tell me why,” I pushed, needing more of her truth.
I captured her rosy pebbled nipple between my lips and alternated between sucking and nipping while I pinched the other between my fingers.
“Because—” she started to say as I tightened my hold on her hips and pushed down on them, causing her words to falter. “Oh, my God . . . it feels like my entire body is a live wire . . . it’s a rush . . . it’s a feeling like no other, only you . . . you own me, Jameson.”
The short bursts of her labored breaths were a balm to my ears.
“Right answer, Red. Your orgasms all belong to me,” I murmured across her skin as I licked a path up and across her collarbone. “You belong to me.” With my hands cupping the back of her head, I swallowed her moans of ecstasy when her orgasm hit, and her body convulsed flawlessly in my arms.
“You’re so fucking responsive.”
“As are you.” She reached down and wasted no time tilting my axis off balance as her hand gripped me and began pumping firmly. “But I’m going to need you to stand up now.”
My body acted on autopilot, too weak to say no because the thought of coming down her throat was as life-changing as it was being inside her warm, velvet heat. She was my dream girl, and seeing her on her knees, looking up at me through fluttering dark lashes as her lips wrapped around my hardened length, was a mental photo that would be engrained in my brain for eternity.
I unclipped her hair and fisted her red curls in my hand.
My heart pounded a boisterous rhythm in my chest. Every breath was a rush of exhilaration that had me climbing higher and higher. The combined friction of both her hand and tongue, warm and eager, over my piercings was all-consuming. The rawness of the intensity was like liquid sunshine free-flowing through my veins, but when she relaxed her jaw and opened her throat, taking me as far as she could, I saw stars behind my eyelids.
“Fuck, yes.” My brain was short-circuiting, craving the magic she weaved. “You take me so good, Red.”
She moaned with enthusiasm as her tongue vibrated around me and her grip tightened. Time warped as the seconds stretched and the pressure in my spine built, pushing me right toward the edge with open arms.
My body buzzed, infused with sensational waves of euphoria engulfing every cell in my body as I welcomed the lightning strike that catapulted me over the cliff. Thunderous pleasure electrified my being and suspended me in a bubble of unadulterated bliss until I dropped down into the water, feeling weightless with abandon.
“Come here.” I claimed her mouth, funneling every ounce of affection I had for her as she matched my eagerness stroke for stroke.
“Will it always feel this way?” she asked, leaning her forehead against my shoulder.
“Yes, because our chemistry is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.” She was all I needed in this life and every life to follow.
“You’ve definitely ruined me for anyone else.” I tickled her side just above her hip for that playful jab because there was no way I was ever letting her go. “Ah, Jameson,” she scolded me.
“Good, because you ruined me a long time ago.” My words lingered as thick, billowy steam from the hot tub disappeared into the night’s air. “Can I ask what made you get a hood piercing?”
“What made you get your Jacob’s ladder and when?” she countered.
“Oh, I see how it is. Okay, Red, I’ll go first.” I didn’t particularly like thinking back to that time, but there wasn’t a part of me I wouldn’t share with her. “It was years ago, and I wasn’t in a good head space then. I wanted to feel pain versus the constant state of sadness and frustration I was living in.”
Her eyes grew wide, revealing a blend of surprise while also hinting at a deep sympathy that I had to set aside to avoid getting lost in those feelings.
“It’s okay, no one knew. I kept that side of me locked away and was the fun-loving jokester who everyone loved.” I wrapped a fly-away piece of her hair around my finger before tucking it behind her ear. “They advise you only do two piercings at a time; needless to say, the process took a bit. I had already sworn off any woman who wasn’t you, so that wasn’t an issue. Once things healed, honestly, I liked the added sensations. I also told myself if we ever got our chance, I’d have zero issues removing them if it wasn’t something you were into.”
“They’ve definitely heightened things in a good way, that’s for sure; we just have to be super careful.”
“Without a doubt. Your pleasure will always come first with me. If you ever don’t like something, say the word. Now confess, babe, I want to know why you decided to get yourself pierced in a place that has over eight thousand nerve endings.”
Her lips pressed together in a thin line.
“Yeah, well, with all those nerve endings, you’d think a person would feel all the sensations, yet all I’d ever felt was numb and broken.” Hearing her say that about herself made me sick with my role in her feeling that way. “I guess, much like you, I wanted to feel something, but for me, I wanted to feel alive when I felt dead on the inside. Any past partner would get frustrated with me during oral, so I learned to fake it. Leaving me never satisfied. I’d read a romance novel where the female main character had one; I guess you could say it intrigued me. I drove three hours away to a place that did it because there was no way in hell I was going to risk anyone recognizing me nearby.”
“It’s sexier-than-fuck, and I, for one, like that we have these little secrets no one knows about.”
“And I like you, Jameson.”
“Right back at you.”
Except I didn’t just like her, I loved her, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold back from telling her.