Chapter 49
Iburst into our bedroom, Caz following hot on my heels, and confusion floods me as I take in the scene.
Kyor is lying on our bed, while Uzra and his granddaughter Orla stand over him and Elska hunches in misery on the floor.
Kyor’s piercing blue eyes meet mine as his hand hovers over his chest. He smiles. ‘I love you, Thorn.’
Then he presses his palm against his chest and sends a single bolt of power straight through his heart. Stopping it.
Elska howls, a sound of pure agony, and I scream with her.
‘No!’
Panic shreds through me as his body spasms upward before dropping back onto the bed’s surface.
‘Kyor. Kyor?’ Tears blur the world to nothing more than smudges of colour as I scream, my agony absolute. Why would he do this? Why would he leave me? He said he loves me.
I am shaking and rocking as gentle arms move me from Kyor’s side.
‘Princess, I need you to give Orla room to work. Her power is to restart a heart. All is not as it appears. All is not lost.’
‘What?’ I drag in lungfuls of air as I desperately try to understand what the fuck is going on.
‘You can do this,’ Uzra assures Orla. ‘You’ve done this before. Go on now.’
Every part of my body is resisting, refusing to leave Kyor, yet Caz somehow drags me to the side. As I kneel on the ground, Orla places a hand in the exact spot where only moments ago Kyor sent his own power radiating inwards.
I try to stop sobbing, terrified I’ll distract Orla, muffling my cries as best I can with my black lace-covered fingers. Of the two of us, I was supposed to be the one close to death.
Uzra’s words echo in my mind. She can restart a heart.
I hold my breath, feeling the air quivering in my lungs as every second stretches into infinity.
‘What’s going on?’ I finally say.
‘I… It’s not working,’ Orla says, her voice shaking.
‘What do you mean, it’s not working? Just fucking do it! Restart his heart. Restart it right now!’
‘I’m trying. I’m trying. It’s just … I’ve only done this on Issen before. It’s always been Issen and—’
‘He’s human, Orla. Just an arrogant, idiotic human.
His heart beats the same as any Issen’s.
Restart his heart. That’s what your magic is meant to do, isn’t it?
’ Hysteria claws up my throat and I sit on my hands to stop myself from reaching out and shaking the girl until she does what she is meant to do!
He isn’t breathing, I wail to Fen.
He pads closer to me and presses his fur and warmth against me. Have faith, Little Raven, he says, though his emotions are as turbulent as mine.
Unable to bear the silence a moment longer, I shout out, ‘You need to save him!’
‘That’s enough!’ Uzra snaps at me as Orla winces.
Guilt floods through me. He’s right. She’s a child. She doesn’t need this pressure. And ultimately this is not her fault.
It’s Kyor’s. I don’t know why he did it, but he … he chose to die.
And that kills me.
He chose to leave me.
‘Rose,’ Caz says quietly. ‘Deep breaths.’
‘Fuck your breaths,’ I snarl back. I stop myself from saying she doesn’t know what I’m going through, because she does. Of course she does. I press the heels of my hands to hot eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay. I understand.’
And I know she does. More than anyone.
I can’t lose him. I can’t. Not so soon after losing Ruben. I won’t survive this. I won’t survive without him.
But Orla’s chest is juddering in wheezing breaths, her hands trembling so fast she has no chance of helping him. Not in this state.
I move to crouch so that I’m at eye level with the girl.
‘I’m sorry, Orla.’ I try to control the tremor in my voice, but it’s nearly impossible.
Still, I continue, ‘I’m so sorry I snapped.
Really, I am, but you need to listen to me.
Please. He’s just a person. He’s just a person whose heart has stopped beating.
And you’re the only one who has the magic to save him. ’
Her bottom lip is still trembling.
‘You can do this.’
She nods, but I can see she’s still not there yet. Not convinced.
She needs to do this now, or I’ll lose him for good.
‘I trust you, Orla.’
Tears glaze her eyes, but this time I see the determination in them as she nods. ‘Okay.’
‘Use your three breaths. Take a deep breath into your belly, nice and slowly. Now hold it and then let the air out nice and slow. Then take another one in, okay? Just take your time.’
The words are like vines, coiling around my ribs, stopping me from breathing. How much time do we have?
It may have already been too long.
Orla’s on her third deep breath and my panic has reached fever pitch, and I’m about to speak again when she places her hands back onto Kyor’s chest.
‘Stand back,’ she says. She’s barely finished speaking when the magic pours from her.
Kyor’s body lurches upwards with a gasp, the inhale lifting his whole torso off the mattress before he drops back down. Silence follows the thud.
Did it work?
My own breath is quivering in my lungs as I wait for his second inhale to come. My eyes scan his body. His chest, his mouth.
Waiting.
Where is it? Where the hell is it?
I shift forward, ready to shake him again, when the sound pierces the air. Another inhale. And this time on his own.
My eyes slide closed and I start sobbing again, this time in relief.
Elska barks, the sound joyous. She stands and licks Kyor’s face, bringing him back to consciousness with her truly rancid breath.
He sits up, his hands automatically fussing over her as he looks around for me.
‘Thorn?’ He blinks as he reaches out for me too.
I slap his hand away. ‘Don’t you dare fucking Thorn me! You stopped your own fucking heart! What the actual FUCK, Kyor!’
With a low groan, he pushes himself up to sitting, offering a slight shrug as he does. ‘It needed a rest.’ He winks. ‘It’s been working far too hard ever since I met you.’
‘Really? You’re making jokes?’ This time, I go to hit him directly, but he grabs me by the wrist.
‘I’m okay, Rose. I’m okay. I’m back.’
He’s back. Unlike Llinos. Unlike Ruben.
He’s back, and I’m so grateful I can hardly breathe.
‘You’re back.’
I don’t know when it shifted from him holding me to me holding him, but now that I am, I can’t let go of him. My hands squeeze tight, as though he might evaporate from within my grasp, might just disappear.
He gently kisses me on the forehead, then twists his head around.
‘Orla, judging by the way the princess is digging her nails into me right now, I’d say she got pretty worried back there, so thank you. You obviously stayed calm.’
The young girl tries to smile as she shakes her head. ‘I didn’t. Not really. I got worried. Scared.’
‘Scared?’ Kyor says softly, lifting an eyebrow in surprise. ‘That’s incredible. To keep your cool, to do what needs to be done, even when you’re scared … that’s what makes you a real warrior.’
This time her smile is bolder, and in the pause, Caz steps next to the child and places a hand on her shoulder.
‘Come on, I think you and your granddad are done in here for now. Let’s see if we can’t find you a riverweed cake or two.
’ She looks at Uzra. ‘I’m sure Kyor will tell us everything in good time. ’
The wolves follow them out, and a minute later, Kyor and I are alone, and all the fear and relief I felt have shifted into absolute fury.
‘What the hell, Kyor? What the fuck were you thinking? How stupid can you get?’ I say, hammering my hand against his idiotic chest. A grimace contorts his face, and it’s only as I move the fabric that I see a fern-like pattern, red and angry, spreading out across the left side of his chest – the burn of his powers, scarred onto his skin.
An eternal reminder of what he did. And just like that, the anger slides away.
‘You died, Kyor,’ I whisper, tears once again filling my eyes. ‘You fucking died. You could have been gone – for real. With Mortidem.’
‘Rose, you could’ve joined him dozens of times on the trip up here. Wouldn’t have stopped you coming though, would it?’
My jaw clenches. ‘That is not the same. I had no other choice.’
‘And neither did I. I couldn’t go on like that.’
And just like that, sudden comprehension hits me. He stopped his own heart. He died.
‘The vow,’ I say breathlessly.
He nods. ‘The truth was eating away at me. Rose, I’m okay. And now we can speak freely, right? Completely freely. About everything.’
I squinch my eyes closed. ‘Yes … everything,’ I whisper. I open my eyes and gather my courage. ‘Florian is alive, Kyor. My brother is alive. He was never killed. The king’s order was never carried out.’
Kyor’s lips part in confusion. ‘Your brother?’
I nod so rapidly that my skull throbs. ‘He’s alive.
Living in Wrohelm as one of Artur’s wards.
His name is William now, and he has powers too.
Issen powers like mine. He’s the reason I had to get here as fast as possible.
It was never just about me. He has the Issen patterns, Kyor, growing on his flesh.
I needed to find a way to keep him safe. ’
‘Your brother’s alive,’ he says slowly as he struggles to digest the information. ‘You’re sure it’s him?’
A lump forms in my throat as I nod. ‘Yes. I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t know if I should even tell you. I didn’t want to put you in an invidious position.’
‘I get your reasoning, but I don’t understand how it’s possible. My father commanded that he be put to death. I was there when he gave the order.’
‘I know. That’s why I couldn’t tell you. For you to know would be treason, and I … I… After everything … I couldn’t be sure which side you would choose.’
The pain that fills his face is even deeper than when I hit the burn on his chest.
‘Rose, regardless of anything that has happened or will happen in the future, I want you to know that this is amazing news. It’s phenomenal and, from a selfish point of view…
’ He drops his head into his hands and lets out a sigh.
‘Rose. His death… It was the first etch on the wall. An etch that doesn’t need to be there anymore.
It’s one less stain on my soul.’ He pauses, his eyes drifting momentarily away.
‘The death of warriors is one thing, but the death of a child?’ He shudders. ‘I am truly happy he’s alive.’
‘But if your father finds out—’
‘He must never know,’ he says sharply. ‘Who else knows about him?’
‘The others. I told them before we came on the trip. They took a vow of silence.’
‘So Benny, Caz, and…’
‘And Ruben,’ I finish for him.
‘And you can trust them,’ he says. ‘You can trust them with this.’
It’s not a question, it’s a statement, and yet I nod nonetheless. ‘The only other people who know the truth are Kay and Jonas,’ I say.
‘Jonas? That’s why you trust him. Because he’s already committed treason for you.’ Slowly, Kyor releases a long exhale. ‘I’m sorry… I’m sorry you couldn’t tell me. You should’ve been able to.’
‘I can tell you now,’ I say. ‘And you can tell me. Everything.’
There’s a shift in the air as a pulse of silence surrounds us.
‘We should tell the others at the same time,’ Kyor says firmly.
‘Do you really think it’s best to bring Benny into this right now?’
‘Maybe not.’ His eyes cloud for a moment before he shakes his head. ‘No, it has to do with the Isles as well, so Benny should hear this too, and maybe … I don’t know. A distraction might help.’
While I know that keeping the mind busy doesn’t work for everybody the way it does for Caz, and that some people need stillness and quiet to process their grief, maybe hearing this will help give Benny something to cling on to. Something to give him purpose while he’s adrift.
‘Okay, I’ll go get him and Loch,’ I say. ‘Get my cousin and Caz too. Meet in the dining room?’
‘Sorry, your cousin?’ he questions, cocking his head to the side.
‘Oh, yeah.’ I take yet another long breath in. ‘Turns out there’s a fair bit more I need to fill you in on.’