Chapter 52
Despite my desperate – and in my opinion well-deserved – need for sleep, there is one matter that needs addressing. And so, while Kyor picks up his paper and pencils and starts to sketch, I move next door and knock on Caz and Thessa’s door.
‘You do not have to knock, Caroline,’ Thessa’s voice calls, amused.
‘Actually, it’s not Caz,’ I tell her. ‘It’s Rose.’
‘The Rose.’ She opens the door. ‘What is wrong?’
‘There’s nothing wrong,’ I reassure her. ‘I don’t think. May I come in?’
She nods and steps aside, allowing me into her lightly furnished room, where the fire glows with low embers and the remains of the evening light diffuse through the thin, gauzy curtains.
‘Can we sit?’ I ask, and she gestures to two chairs next to a small table. Unsurprisingly, the table is stacked with books, and I have to move them aside so I can see her.
I take a deep breath and tell her exactly what Magnus told me, or as close as I can remember. That he doesn’t know for sure but is as close as one can get to certainty in such a situation.
When I’m done, I note the intensity with which Thessa is looking at me.
‘What is it?’ I ask. ‘Why are you looking at me like that?’
Her citrine eyes meet mine. ‘It has been a long time since I have seen blood of my blood. I did not know if I ever would again.’
The tremor in her voice lingers in the air, and the way she stares at me is even more unnerving than the Torailians and Issen bowing. The moment feels so precious and delicate, and to speak again might ruin it entirely.
Cousins.
‘I have never had a cousin,’ I say finally. ‘Albeit once removed.’
‘Nor I.’ She offers me a tentative smile, which I return. It’s not much, but it’s a start.
‘And you do realise this means you’re related to Magnus, too? By marriage. He’s your uncle.’
She blinks. ‘I had not made that connection,’ she admits. ‘I am niece to a king.’ She shakes her head in disbelief.
‘You are.’ I grin. ‘It’s nice not to be the only one who has royalty shoved on them. You’re a lady.’
Thessa sniffs. ‘I have always been a lady.’
My face all but splits in two as I smile, though the expression quickly shifts into a yawn wide enough to click my jaw.
‘We should both get some sleep,’ I say, rising to my feet and crossing to the door, glancing back at her to smile. ‘Good night, cousin.’
‘Good night, cousin,’ she replies with wonder, and we both pause a moment before I leave.
Neither of us can quite believe it, yet neither of us denies our kinship.
Family.
At breakfast the next morning, I’m amazed to find a small hamper overflowing with dried meats, dried fruits, biscuits, and jams smack in the middle of the dining table. The types of things that we haven’t had or even seen since we arrived in Isthyr.
I reach out a hand to grab one, but then common sense calls me to ask, ‘Where did this come from?’
‘From the Torailians,’ Caz says. ‘I believe they’re an apology for past actions.’
I snatch my hand back with a groan. ‘I can’t eat their shitty apology food. They tried to kill Fen and called me an abomination.’
‘Really?’ Thessa looks as if she might cry. ‘But … but it is delicious.’
‘We’re family now,’ I tell her with a scowl. ‘That means you stand by me and my decisions.’
‘Even when the decisions are stupid?’ my cousin asks, still eying the goodies with clear longing.
‘Yes,’ I huff. ‘Especially then.’
‘Fine,’ she sighs. ‘Having family is tough.’
‘Maybe we could try to get Benny to eat a bit of the apology food though,’ Caz suggests. ‘I still haven’t seen him eat anything since…’
I nod. ‘Sure. Loch, can I put you in charge of getting rid of this?’ I turn to the quietest member of the group, who is silently munching away on a biscuit.
‘Persuade Benny to take as much as you can, then give the rest away? Or maybe take it to Orla? It’s the least she deserves after what Kyor put her through, and I never followed through on my promise to get her a riverweed cake. ’
‘Sure,’ he mumbles, brushing crumbs from his shirt.
‘Where is Kyor?’ Caz asks, looking towards the door. ‘I haven’t seen him yet.’
‘He wanted to head out and see Elska. She and Fen spent the night on the other side of the pyrrhic. They said it was to hunt, but I think they were hoping to pick up anything that might lead to the shade.’
‘They want to feel like they’re helping. We all do,’ Caz says softly. ‘So what about you? What are you doing?’
It doesn’t take me long to answer the question, given I was debating it myself only a moment before.
‘I need to try the Veil, obviously, but I think I might do a meditation beforehand. See if that helps. My mind feels clearer today, having more pieces of the puzzle in place, and not having vows and secrets between Kyor and me, I feel more … centred. Ready.’
Though I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I try to meditate and thoughts of Ruben helping me inevitably appear, I know I need to try.
If only because of the poison I can feel creeping into my veins, making my hands throb and tingle with such intensity that it’s getting hard to hide how much discomfort I’m in.
Benny, at least, must see my pain, but I suspect he’s too lost in his own to care.
‘Sounds good,’ Caz says, pushing aside her plate, now cleared of riverweed.
‘We’ve got plenty to get on with. I’m actually wishing I had crazy old Rohan from Wrohelm to talk to.
I bet he could answer some questions. Although…
’ She pauses. ‘I guess I shouldn’t call him that, since it transpires he wasn’t actually that crazy. ’
With that, Caz and Thessa head out.
Ignoring the growling in my stomach, and with the utmost regret, I pick up a piece of dried riverweed and head outside, spotting Kyor just a short way away with Elska.
‘Hey, you didn’t want breakfast?’ I ask him.
‘No, I’d already arranged to meet someone.’
‘Training with Uzra?’ I assume.
‘Sort of,’ he says. ‘After I’ve let Orla take Elska for a ride. One-on-one.’
My eyebrows rise.
‘What? I figure it’s the least I could do.’
Warmth floods through me. Kyor spending his mornings offering a child a wolf ride is so far away from the vision I had of him before the Retterheld.
I’m reminded that children are not something we’ve ever mentioned, given we’re young and our relationship hasn’t exactly been the most stable.
But he’s a prince. He’ll be expected to have children.
But then, if I’m to become the ruler of the Issen, does that mean I will be too?
And how would that work? A child – our child – would rule over them both? Is that even possible?
With concerted effort, I push unnecessary worries about the future down and focus on the now. The now has enough worries of its own.
Fen, you okay?
Yes, Little Raven. It was my turn guarding beyond the pyrrhic last night, but Elska joined me for a time. I, too, am returning now.
Then you should rest. I can walk to the sacred lands alone.
But you need me to guard the dagger while you’re inside the Veil, he reminds me.
Damn, he’s right. So much for trying to give my wolf a break.
It is not a problem, Little Raven. I will see you shortly.
Deciding it’s easier just to wait for him at the palace – where he’s undoubtedly heading – than start walking to the river myself, I’m about to head back inside when I spot a small group walking towards me and Kyor with purpose, veils covering their faces.
‘Skakka.’ Aulia. I now recognise her garnet eyes among the many pairs of deep red irises that stare at me. ‘Did you get the gifts we gave you?’
‘Gifts I didn’t need or ask for,’ I say, folding my arms, well aware I sound utterly ungrateful.
But they did try to kill us, and a few biscuits isn’t much of an apology.
And while I know I need to find out more about the prophecy and the Great War, that’s not going to be possible if these damn markings on my arms poison me to death.
The Veil has to be my priority. Then I can look at the rest. Given that the prophecy is thousands of years old, I can’t believe that another few days is going to make any difference.
‘I believe that is the way of gifts, is it not? You are not meant to ask for them, Skakka.’
‘That name you’ve given Rose – Skakka – what does it mean?’ Kyor asks.
I shoot him a glare for engaging Aulia in conversation.
‘The Skakka is the one who will bring balance to the fight. Who will ensure that good triumphs in the Great War.’
‘Aulia, please…’ I try to keep my voice measured. ‘I know you wish for me to hear the prophecy, but it has to wait. I will come and find you when I have time, and then you can tell me anything you want.’
Her jaw works slightly, and I half expect her to put up a fight, but instead she dips her chin.
‘As you wish, Skakka. We are here with you now. Always.’
I try to fight down a shudder. Always is a very long time.
I go straight to the mouth of the vandsang cave. It’s where I feel most relaxed, and right now I need something to calm me.
As I reach the entrance, I find the path blocked by somebody walking out.
‘Brida? Have you been here long?’
‘A while, yes,’ she tells me.
I glance up at the sky. The sun still has a long way to go on its ascent. ‘You must’ve been here early.’
‘I like the songs in the morning the best,’ she says. ‘Have you heard them?’
‘No. Not any earlier than this.’
‘You should,’ she says. ‘They’re the most delicate then. Of course, walking across in the dark is not something everyone enjoys, but I focus on the songs and they guide me with little difficulty.’
‘I’ll remember that,’ I say. ‘Thank you.’
She continues onward, only to hesitate. ‘So now not only are you our long-lost princess, but you’re also in a prophecy. Centre of attention much?’ A smirk rises on her lips, and I’m surprisingly pleased to see it there. It feels more normal than her careful words. More real.
‘A princess who still can’t make it through the Veil,’ I remind her.
Brida wrinkles her nose. ‘It can’t be that hard. Stefan made it through, and we all know what a dick he is.’
Her smile is thinner this time, but I can’t imagine it’s easy for her. She believed in him.
‘I should leave you to it,’ she says. ‘My mother is returning today. I should prepare.’ The sadness in her tone makes me think that this isn’t a reunion she’s looking forward to, and I can’t help but wonder what it must be like to be in a family without complications.
Without lies and pressure. I guess too many of us will never find out.
Setting aside my heavy thoughts, I head into the vandsang.
The music is certainly lighter than when I came before, a soft tinkling that’s so delicate I feel like my breath alone could be enough to disturb it.
And so, wishing to keep my disruption as limited as possible, I choose a fur far from the pools.
It also happens to be in the centre of the cave, and as I stand there, it’s as though I’ve been submerged within the complexity of the vandsang itself.
If Brida chose to leave music as captivating as this, I can only imagine what it sounds like in the early hours.
My plan was to meditate, the same way I’ve done every other time I’ve come into the cave, but there’s something about the music that stops me.
The light melody is short, repetitive, and reminds me of something, though it takes a moment to realise what it is.
Birdsong. It sounds exactly like birdsong.
The knowledge causes a tingling to spread across my skin, and I’m tempted to try to slip into a vision and see my siblings, the repeated tune calling forth visions of soaring.
‘Okay then, Raven Sight,’ I say, lowering myself onto the fur before closing my eyes and drawing a breath. ‘Take me to my brother. Take me to William.’
I go to focus on the song, on the feeling of flight, of being immersed in birdsong, but the shift hits before I’ve even begun.
My stomach lurches, sharp and sudden, and my balance is thrown, as though the world has tilted. When I open my eyes, it’s to a blur of rooftops far below and wind rushing beneath me, my feathers catching the air without thought.
I’m in Wrohelm. I did it!
Now I just have to find my little brother.