Chapter Fourty
Ava
The stun of Stepan's gun against Roman’s head pauses me. I watch Roman’s eyes when he tells me to run but I want nothing to do other than to be with him, to help in some way. I can’t though. I have nothing left except fear and wounds, exhausting me into powerlessness.
Like a fragile fucking rabbit.
I bolt as Stepan points his gun at me, “You are not fucking going anywhere you fucking whore.” I look over my shoulder as he pulls the trigger, blasting the sound through the warehouse. The bullet barely whizzes by me as Roman knocks Stepan’s arm, tackling him to the ground.
Swiveling my body, I lunge into a crouch behind a crate. My lungs feel like fucking fire and my body hurts so bad. The crusted blood on my wound, where Stepan sliced my forearm earlier, cracks when I lean it on the crate.
“Hello pretty.” A voice to the left makes me lose my balance as I jump. I fall onto my back and forearms as Pavel leans over, climbing on top of me.
I scream, “Get the fuck off of me you fucking perv!” I can feel his penis as he pins me down with his hands on my shoulders.
“Oh, I thought since you have opened your fucking legs for them, you would do the same for me.” His breath smells like garbage and cigars as he lowers his face closer to mine. I hold my breath and knee him in the stomach. He winces as he lifts one hand into the air, pausing. He tugs his upper lip up and slaps me across the face. “I will fuck you and kill you. Just like your little fucking boyfriend Roman was going to do.”
Ignoring him, I look to my right and see a rusty wire on the ground near the wall. He lowers his face with a grin as I take my free arm and punch him, as hard as I can. I squirm my knee to his groin as I shift onto my side.
He stands, “You fucking bitch,” he gripes as he holds the front of his pants.
I crawl as fast as I can to the wire and reach for it. I grasp it in mere seconds, as he pulls me by my ankles, spinning me onto my back.
“Come the fuck here and stay you fucking mutt.” He spit in my face.
I hide the wire flush against the side of my body as I turn my head, looking through the crack of the crates. Roman beats Stepan with his fists and stands from his limp body.
He walks toward me swiftly, as he points his Glock at Pavel. He keeps his focus on him, lunging every hard step with outrage. Pavel struggles, pulling at his holster as Roman shoots him between the eyes. Blood and fragments sprinkle over me as Pavel falls to the floor. I scoot back, as fast as I can, kicking myself away from the mess and it feels like my chest tightens, constricting any breath I had left into an implosion.
Leaning my head to the side, I vomit as Roman walks back to Stepan. I have seen death and blood but it has never made me this sick to my stomach. Watching a bullet destroy a skull a few feet away from me, is another level of gruesome.
Shaking the sickness away, I crouch behind the crate and wipe my mouth as Stepan slowly stands with his gun. The fluorescent beam shines down onto Stepan’s back, casting a dark shadow onto Roman as he stands on the light's edge.
This was Stepan's moment like the self centered prick he is.
They lift their guns and point at each other. Roman looks down at the light’s fringe, edging himself closer into the soft outline.
Stepan laughs, “You are fucked, little brother. And to think you ruined your life for a fucking whore.”
My hands start to shake as hope and anger tumble within me.
Please Roman, please.
“Stepan, you have always wanted to be in the spotlight. Always riding coattails to make it seem like you are the fucking champion, like you are the mastermind.” Roman is still, balancing perfectly on the light's edge, so Stepan doesn’t miss his big moment.
“Do you have to hold her down like I did? Oh the way she moaned, Roman.” Stepan shifts his weight slightly, “Well, Cried.”
“Why is it that we went from playing here, as not only brothers, but as best friends…to this? Why would you let it consume you? You are nothing to me anymore but a sad little boy who stopped imagining, stopped all hope. You forgot about the memories.” Roman’s face is straight and emotionless like he had waited for the right time to say this to him.
“Times change, but you never did. Forever stuck as the fucking bastard.”
The anger and hope in me stops fighting against each other, as a chill of something inches from my toes, to my hips, to my chest, flooding eyes.
Darkness.
Ava? Hello Ava? Wake up.
Time slows as I stand.
I look over at Pavel and walk to him with ease in every step. Everything is so clear, but the words Stepan is yelling are incoherent, stifling murmurs. I keep my focus on the black gun tucked in Pavel’s shoulder holster. Leaning down, I stare at what was once his face, pulling the heavy gun into my hand. I haven’t touched a gun since I was a teenager. My parents would make me practice, and I hated every second of it.
Until now.
I turn and stare at the two of them. Brothers who are born into different morals, created from the same darkness, but chose to stick to what they both believed was right. With precious steps, I stroll towards Stepan. I keep my eyes on the back of his head as Roman slowly steps fully into the light.
Like I am stepping into my darkness.
Strings of music and fading keys of a piano slowly play in my head. The same music Roman played for me after he killed that man on the hood of his car. It is soothing, slow, and calm like I was dancing like a feather, with every meticulous step. I stand behind Stepan as his screaming still drones into muffles, as if his own spotlight is drowning him. He pays no mind as I stand behind him.
The smell of vodka and sweat perspiring from him makes me grin in disgust. I take a breath as I lift the gun to Stepan’s temple.
Oh, good. You are awake.
Right on time.
Bang.
He falls to the pavement with a thud as I stand there with the gun still in the air. The slow motion and darkness slither inward, folding onto each other, as time becomes normal again. I swivel my head to Roman as he lowers his gun.
I watch his eyes search mine as he walks to me. He reaches out his hand and pushes my arm down, lowering the gun to my side. “It’s ok, It’s ok. It’s done,” He whispers deeply as he hugs me into his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. “I’m right here,” he says, taking the gun from me.
I nod with contentment as he cocoons me in his arms. He steps back, placing both guns in his holster and takes my hand.
We walk to the exit and I stop as he continues. He turns and faces me with confusion, “Hey… I know… it’s a lot.” He takes a step forward as I stay completely still. “Let me take you home.” He kisses my lips, caressing my jaw with his hand, “So I can take care of you.”
I pull away as I smile at him, “There is only one thing left for me to do.”
Roman
I look at her beautiful smile and the glint of a twinkle beyond her green eyes. It isn't the normal glint of a bright star that makes it special though, it’s the dark sky it shines in. She didn’t have to kill him, nor did I think she would, but I am glad she did. She deserves that justice after what he did to her. No matter what, his brains were going to be on the floor one way or another.
I thought I would lose her to this world and to who I am, but I was wrong about her. I assumed she sprouted and grew from the dirt and filth, reaching upward as far as she could get from it, but she didn't. She was just waiting to understand what she would grow into the whole time
She reaches for my chain and pulls out the pocket watch, “ 11:12, ” she says, and smiles at the ticking in her palm. She places the watch back, sliding her fingers over the clip of my knife and pulls it out. She grabs the rabbit mask from my pocket as she switches open the blade. Turning from me, she doesn’t say a word as she walks to Stepan.
He is facedown as blood runs from his skull, bright and vivid under the white spotlight. She positions herself as my eyes trace her side profile. The overhead light is like a glow of hope radiating off of her. She slips the mask over her head, situating it over her eyes, and crouches over Stepan as she fiddles with the knife in her hand. She watches his lifeless body with intent, resting one elbow onto her knee. With a steady hand, she pulls the back of his white shirt up, exposing his tattoos. I keep myself still as I watch her eyes soften and glaze.
She takes the knife that has cut away the terror in this world, corruption, and filth. The fumes of burning money and flesh that it ignores, because in this horrible world, she is the horrible truth of pain, kindness, and beauty. There is not a sickness in her or a drop of obscurity. She is calm and precise like she was born for it. It’s as if I can see her darkness and light, intertwining around her in a dance. She is breathtakingly breaking as she mends herself together simultaneously. Her sweetness holds hands with the parts she has ignored, creating a calm in her storm. Swipe by swipe, she circles with the knife, producing what she is. She doesn’t look back at me for approval as she slices into his skin.
Bending her elbows, she pushes herself gently into a stand. She wipes the blade on her black leggings, and closes the knife as she admires her brand. The blood pools around him, as I watch the brother I once knew, marked with the rabbit. Pressing the knife against her chest, as if she was coddling it, she closes her eyes. She inhales a large breath, and exhales through her nose as she grins.
I walk over to her as she crouches back down to Stepan calmly, and I take out a cigarette from my pack. The light flickers as I pull in a drag, focusing on her delicious lips. She looks gentler in a way and somehow sweeter, even if she is wearing the mask. She looks up at me, and I lower the cigarette to her mouth. Bracing her knees, she ticks her nails on the knife as the smoke fills her lungs. The exhale of the haze drifts to me as she stands, straightening the rabbit mask.
Narrowing her eyes, she grins. “My turn.” she says, as she hands me the knife.