Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-five
Mazzy
I still couldn’t believe Ben was here. Part of me was mad at him for potentially missing the championship, but the rest was so grateful to have him beside me, I could barely breathe from the weight of it.
This was nothing like last time. Nothing like I had expected it to be when I’d scheduled her surgery months ago. It was still scary. I felt like my heart had been removed from my chest with a dull spoon and was currently in an operating room around the corner.
But…it was bearable. Because Ben was standing in front of me, and he understood. He was feeling the same swirling panic, the same hopefulness this would work and everything would be okay, the same hollow ache where his heart should have been.
He didn’t have to tell me for me to see it. The second he walked back through the door, it had been written all over his face.
“Did you hear that?” he asked, and I knew exactly what he meant.
“She called you Daddy.”
“Yeah.” He nuzzled my neck, and after a moment, hot tears dripped onto my skin. “How did you do this?”
“I really have no idea. I think I was in a fugue state her first few months.” I shuffled closer, as close as I could get, and he squeezed me tighter. “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”
“Me too,” he choked out.
“You’re missing your—”
“Don’t care. I’m not thinking about it.”
I sucked in a breath, looked at the ticking clock hanging above the door, and almost laughed. “Oh my god. It’s only been five minutes. An hour is going to be forever.”
This surgery was much more routine than the two Katty had had as a baby. It should have been less than an hour with little recovery time. It was the anesthesia that made me nervous. All the possibilities of complications—
“Hey. I can feel you spiraling.” Ben pulled back to look at me, his brow furrowed. “Would you rather never have to sleep again or never have to eat again?”
Groaning, I rolled my eyes. “Sleep, obviously. Think of all I could get done in those eight hours.”
“That you never get,” he added. “That was an easy one. Who’d willingly give up eating? Food is the reason.”
I poked his rock-hard abdomen. “Says the man who eats veggies and chicken every meal.”
“Wait until the offseason. I go wild.”
That made me laugh. “More wild than usual?”
“Oh yeah. I’m all ice cream, all the time.”
Gripping his T-shirt, I yanked him closer. “Would you rather give up ice cream or sex?”
“Ice cream,” he shouted.
I slapped my hand over his mouth, relieved he hadn’t shouted sex…for many reasons. When I let go, he wagged his finger at me.
“That was an evil choice you forced me to make.”
I shrugged. “Isn’t that the purpose of the game—to drive people mad?”
He poked his bottom lip out. “I really don’t want to live without ice cream. Don’t make me.”
“Don’t worry.” I pushed up on my toes, brushing my lips against his. “I won’t make you live without either. And since you’re almost in the offseason, maybe we can get some ice cream later.”
His eyes lit. “And then sex?”
“Yeah.” I dropped my forehead to his chest. “Ice cream and sex.”
“Hell yes.” He gathered me in his arms again. “You really know how to make me feel better, baby.”
I circled my arms around his waist and sighed. “Now we have something to look forward to when we get through this.”
“Damn right. We’ve got a hell of a lot to look forward to.”
Ben pulled me over to the small love seat, the two of us squishing close to fit on it together. It was hard as a rock, but it wasn’t like either of us was interested in getting comfortable. We were simply sitting there, willing time to pass as quickly as possible.
“Distract me, please.”
He took my hand in his, and it became lost, like it always did. I loved it, part of me disappearing into Ben while he kept it safe.
“Hmm…” He scratched the side of his head. “Do you want more questions or salacious family gossip?”
“Gossip, always.”
His mouth hitched. “Well…don’t tell them I told you, but did you know Roman and Shira met at Adrian’s sex club?”
My mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding. Shira…sweet, shy Shira went to a sex club?”
“Yup. Now I’m not privy to what kind of kinks those two have—and frankly, I do not want to know—but those are facts.”
“Wow.” I stared at the decal on the wall across from us, my mind resetting. “Have you been to his club?”
“Sure. Gotta support the fam.” He brought my fingers to his mouth, kissing each one. “I’ve never participated in any action, but I’ve watched a couple shows.”
“Shows? Tell me more.”
This was all so foreign to me. I still hadn’t wrapped my mind around the fact that boring, serious Adrian was the owner of a sex club, and now I was finding out Shira and Roman had met there? I really had been sheltered. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what a show at a sex club would be like.
Well…that wasn’t true. I could imagine, but it involved Ping-Pong balls, and I didn’t think that was the type of show Adrian would have.
Ben chuckled. “What if I take you and show you?”
My eyes narrowed. “As long as it’s just watching. I wouldn’t want anyone to see me…or us. Or for anyone to touch me.” I lowered my voice and added, “Or you.”
Yes, that might have come out threatening, but I’d meant it that way. If Ben had any ideas about what I was willing to participate in or watch, he could cut it out right now.
“No one’s touching either of us, baby.”
Phew. I could lay down my pitchfork…
“And if you’re not comfortable, we never have to go. I only offered to sate your curiosity. It’s the kind of thing that’s better to see for yourself, but only if you really want to.”
I twisted, slinging my legs over his. “No, I want to. Definitely. Like you said, we have to support the fam.”
He chuckled. “That’s right. Then you can meet Sammie, Adrian’s best friend. She’s his right-hand woman. All of us are convinced they’re secretly in love with each other.”
“Really?” Ben had all the good tea. I was kind of annoyed he’d never spilled this. “Why secretly?”
“Because they’ve been besties since they were kids and both of them are too scared to reveal their true feelings.” He brushed the thought away like it offended him. “This is all hearsay. Adrian denies until he’s blue in the face, but me, Rome, and Nate are convinced.”
I gaped at him. “Wow. You guys really are gossips, aren’t you?”
He slipped his hands under my knees, squeezing the back of my thigh.
“We talk shit. It’s what brothers do. And yeah, we get all up in each other’s business.
But that comes from a place of protection more than anything.
We went through the hell of our childhood together, so we stick close.
We might get mad at each other—I mean, I was close to killing Rome after what he did to you—but we’re locked in for life. ”
“I’m glad you didn’t kill him then.”
He sniffed. “Me too. Not that I could ever stay mad at him. Or any of my brothers. We don’t do that. We fight it out and get over it. There isn’t a day that goes by we don’t talk. Even when Rome and I were playing on different overseas teams, we made sure to check in.”
“I can’t say I’m not jealous,” I admitted. “But I’m happy you have always had that.”
“Don’t be jealous, baby. That’s your family now too. We’re gonna make a new group chat and trap you in it.”
I pretended to shiver. “I’m so scared.”
“You will be when Adrian texts you at three in the morning, telling you about the fluids he accidentally sat in.”
I scrunched my nose. “On second thought, you can have your brothers all to yourself.”
“Nope.” He grabbed me, yanking me onto his lap. “You’re trapped now. There’s no escape. Don’t even try.”
I squealed and wiggled, but no, I didn’t even try. I liked being exactly where I was.