Chapter 12 #2
She strokes my cock a few times, running her thumb over the engorged tip, smearing the precum that I can’t control, not with her.
It takes more control than even I knew I possessed to keep my eyes from rolling into the back of my head, having her hand on my cock after all this time.
However, I do it. I keep my eyes wide open, watching every moment, every stroke of her soft hand around my hard length.
When she rises onto her knees and moves forward, I draw in a breath. My gaze is locked in, watching as she aligns my cock with her entrance, and slowly, painfully so, she eases down onto my cock.
“Fuck,” I hiss, because this—her—nothing has ever felt like this. Like home. It’s not the town or the house, it’s the woman. It’s always been Ellison. She’s everything I remember, and so much more.
Her head tilts back, the ends of her hair brushing against my thighs, as she lowers herself. It’s not until her thighs meet mine, and she’s taken all of me, that she lifts her head. Our gazes collide, and there’s so much passing between us.
Hurt.
Anger.
Confusion.
And most of all… hope.
I sit up, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her neck.
I bite my tongue to keep from spilling all the words that are fighting to be freed.
I want to tell her that I love her. That this moment means everything to me.
She’s my everything. I want to tell her how sorry I am for not fighting harder.
I let my bruised ego keep me away when nothing, and I mean nothing, should have ever come between us.
I knew then I’d never love anyone but her, but I was butthurt and left.
I thought she didn’t want me because she never replied to my letters.
I was fucking stupid to assume she got them.
I never asked.
I didn’t fight.
I fucked up.
She grips my shoulders as she rocks her hips.
“Fuck, Ells, you feel like silk wrapped around my cock.” I lift my head from her shoulder to peer into her eyes. She holds my gaze before leaning forward.
“So full,” she murmurs, resting her forehead against mine. She rocks forward again, and I grip her hips, tight enough that there’s a chance she’ll be bruised, but fuck me, I’m scared as hell this is a dream. That at any moment I’m going to wake up with my cock painfully hard, all alone.
A mewling sound falls from her lips as I thrust upward. “Bounce on my cock, baby. Take what you need.”
She lifts and slowly lowers back down. My cock is soaked with her desire. I could live in this moment, in this room with her, for the rest of my life and be the happiest fucking man on the planet.
I help her repeat the process. Using my grip on her hips, I lift her and slam her back down. Over and over again, we set a punishing pace. “There you go. Good girl,” I praise. Her pussy leaks all over me.
“Cope…” she moans, and it’s the most erotic, best fucking sound in the entire world to hear this magnificent woman moaning my name again after all these years.
“I got you,” I tell her, continuing to bounce her on my cock.
“More,” she pants, and I’m so close to losing control, I need to get her there. I need to feel her pussy strangling my cock.
Standing, I flip her over onto the mattress, bring her legs to press against my chest, her feet settling at my shoulders, and I pound into her at a punishing pace.
There’s a part of me that thinks that I should be making sweet love to her for our first time back together, but it doesn’t matter if I’m fucking her as if my life depends on it or slowly rocking inside her; it’s all cradled in love.
When I lean down, her legs bend with me as I capture her lips with mine. I plunge my tongue into her mouth as we battle stroke for stroke. I piston my hips forward over and over.
“Yes!” she hisses, pulling out of the kiss.
“Cope!” she screams as her pussy spasms around my cock.
I keep rocking, keep thrusting until her body relaxes into the mattress.
Then and only then do I bury my cock as deep as I can and let go.
I release into her, my head tilted back, and give her everything I’ve been holding for her since the moment I left town.
When we finally come up for air, I move carefully not to crush her and lie next to her on the bed.
We’re both breathing heavily as I pull her into my arms. I press my lips to the top of her head and just feel.
I feel every rise and fall of her labored breaths, her soft skin, her silky locks, and my heart as it races, beating only for her.
I open my mouth to tell her that I love her—that I have always loved her—when she sits up. She climbs over me and out of the bed. “We didn’t use protection,” she says, wrinkling up her nose.
“It’s been years since I’ve been with anyone,” I tell her, hating to admit that there was ever anyone in my bed other than her, not that there were that many, and I can’t remember a single fucking one of them.
She nods. “Same.”
I want to demand names and addresses, but I know that I have no right. Hell, until a couple of months ago, I assumed she was married with a family. Besides, all that matters is that this woman is my future, just like she was always meant to be.
“I’m not on birth control.” She huffs out a humorless laugh. “I let you dickmatize me, and this is where we landed,” she says, reaching for her clothes.
I sit up and reach for her hand. She allows me to lace my fingers with hers and pull her close. “I’m right here, Ells. No matter what happens. I’m where you are from here on out.”
She tears her hand from mine and takes a step back.
“You really expect me to believe that?” she asks.
She hastily steps into her leggings, sans panties, and pulls her long-sleeve T-shirt, no bra, over her head, crossing her arms over her chest. “You left me, Copeland. You just fucking left me,” she says, her voice growing louder.
“I fucked up. I should have explained, but I didn’t know how. Ellison, the need to make sure you were taken care of if you were to lose me like we lost my dad, it rooted inside me, and I couldn’t let it go. I had to do it.”
“Then you should have fucking talked to me!” she roars.
I reach for her again, but she shakes her head and steps out of my reach. Quickly, I grab my clothes and start to get dressed. She tosses my shirt at me. “It’s time for you to go.”
“What? No. Not like this. Not after that.” I point to the bed.
“It was easy for you the last time. I’m sure you remember how,” she says, turning, yanking open the door, and rushing down the stairs.
I pull my shirt on over my head and rush after her. I find her pacing the living room once again. I approach carefully. “Ells.”
“No. No, Copeland. Don’t Ells me,” she spits.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask about birth control, but baby, there is nothing to worry about. We always said we wanted a family.”
I thought my words would be soothing, but instead, big, fat tears roll down her cheeks as she angrily swipes them away and shakes her head.
“That was the dream, until you left me. Mysterious letters be damned, you were here, and you didn’t come to me.
You made an assumption, and you walked away, Copeland.
I wasn’t enough then. What makes you think I’m going to believe that I’m enough now? ”
“You were enough, Ells. You’ve always been enough. You’re everything.” I try again to reach for her, but she evades my touch.
“It’s time for you to go.”
“What’s going on here, Ellison?”
She stops her retreat and stares me in the eye. “I’m trying not to love you,” she whispers brokenly.
“Stop. Don’t—baby, don’t,” I say, reaching for her again, but she folds into herself, as if my touch repulses her.
“Just go.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want you to go back then either. We don’t always get what we want,” she seethes.
I sigh. Tonight, my time with her is over. No matter what I say right now, tensions are high, as are our emotions. Fuck, mine are too big to name, too big to put into words. We need some time to cool off, to let the words we’ve said, and the ones we didn’t, play out.
“I’ll go, but I’ll be back,” I tell her.
“It’s best if you don’t.”
“I thought I knew best once. It turns out, I fucked it up. Guess what, Ells, I’m a smart man. I learn from my mistakes, and letting you go, not fighting for you, is not one I’ll make again.”
It takes two long strides to reach her, and I wrap her in my arms, holding her tightly. “I love you, Ellison,” I whisper as I place my lips against her temple. Knowing that I’m pushing my luck, I release her, turn, and walk out the door.
I can’t go back to my room. I can’t go to my mom’s. Fuck, the only place in this entire damn planet that feels like home is her. So, instead, I get in my truck, and I drive. I take the backroads and let my mind wander. I need a plan, because I meant what I said: I’m not going down without a fight.
“I’m coming for you, baby,” I whisper into the empty cab of my truck.
I’m coming for you.