Chapter 15
Fifteen
Ellison
“Would you stop staring at me?” My eyes meet my best friend’s in the mirror with a glare.
Kinzie laughs. “Stop worrying so much. This is Copeland. You could answer the door with bedhead, and he’d still be drooling over you.” She raises her eyebrows as if daring me to tell her that she’s wrong.
“Why did you get out of work early again?” I ask her instead, and she sticks her tongue out at me.
Copeland from all those years ago, hands down, yes, I would agree with her.
Today’s Copeland, I’m not as certain. I want to say yes, that she’s right, and my heart’s on board with that answer, but my head is a little more cautious.
“Because I knew my bestie needed me,” she replies sweetly.
“Sounds like a waste of PTO time,” I mutter, making her laugh.
“Come on, Ellie. I agree this is a big deal, but you have nothing to be nervous about. Besides, the two of you have already ripped off the Band-Aid and slept together. Tonight is just dinner. Should be a piece of cake.” She smirks.
“Ugh,” I groan, flopping down onto the mattress. I hold my hand up to show her that it’s shaking. Just a slight tremble, but it’s there.
I’m nervous, not because I’m worried about being around him, but because I want this. I want this to work, and I’m scared as hell that I won’t be able to get past the pain, or that something else will happen to tear us apart. That we were never meant to be after all.
“Speak, woman. Tell me what’s going on inside your head,” Kinzie demands as there’s a knock on my bedroom door.
I don’t even get to answer the knock before the door is pushed open, and in walks my sisters. Courtlynn has an iPad in her hand, which can only mean they’ve called Baylor so she, too, can witness my freak-out.
“How bad is she?” Baylor asks, her voice coming over the speakers of the iPad.
“I’m perfectly fine, thank you very much,” I sass. We all know I’m lying. However, there’s a warmth that fills my chest at knowing they’re all here for me—even Baylor, whom I miss fiercely. I need to find out when she’s coming home.
“I’m going with a seven out of ten,” Courtlynn tells her.
“Definitely,” Leighton agrees.
“You just walked into the room,” I defend.
Leighton shrugs. “I live here. I know you’ve been stressing since you agreed to dinner with him last night.”
“Oh, she was at a nine point five. I talked her down,” Kinzie tells them.
“What is this? ‘Gang Up On Ellison Day?’” I huff out my irritation. I love them, but I’m also annoyed with them at the moment.
“It’s ‘Ellison Needs to Get Out of Her Head, and Let Her Heart Lead the Way Day,’” Leighton says.
“That she does,” Kinzie says, typing on her phone before placing it next to her on the bed. “Besides, Copeland will be here any minute. You need to wrap up the freak-out, my friend,” she tells me.
“Ellie, what’s going on?” Baylor asks.
I grab the iPad from Courtlynn and lie back on the bed, holding it in front of my face.
“What’s going on is my head and my heart are at war.
There are two huge pieces. On one hand, I have everything I’ve ever dreamed of, with the man who starred in those dreams. On the other hand, I have the pain, the feeling of not being enough for him, reminding me that if I get too close to the fire, I could get burned a second time.
And you know what they say, right? Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me, or something like that,” I ramble.
“That makes sense,” Baylor says slowly. “However, you can’t let the fear of the unknown keep you from trying, big sister.
Look at me. I left for New York on my own.
It was something I wanted, and I had to take the risk.
” She pauses as I let her words sink in.
“Let me ask you a question, Ellie. Is he worth it? Is Copeland worth the worry and the stress?”
“Yes.” I don’t hesitate with my answer. “He’s worth it. But am I?”
“You are,” a deep voice says from the doorway.
I gasp, drop the iPad, and sit up, staring at Copeland standing there, looking like my every fantasy. He’s in worn blue jeans, boots, and a black T-shirt. Nothing fancy. It’s not the clothing; it’s the man.
“W-What are you doing in here?” I ask, my eyes wide. I can hear Baylor asking what’s going on and the low hum of Courtlynn’s voice as she tells her.
“Kinzie texted me and told me to come on over, and that I should come upstairs,” he says, his eyes flashing to my best friend quickly, before coming back to mine.
“Well, my work here is done.” Kinzie slides off the bed.
“Kinzie,” I warn her.
She turns my way and smiles. “I know I was wrong. But I also know that you’re thinking too much.
I know the past, I know the pain, but I also know what the view looks like from the outside looking in.
” She steps in front of me and leans in for a hug.
I hug her back on autopilot, my eyes still locked with Copeland’s.
“Be happy, Ellie. We’re all here for you, no matter what,” she whispers.
“I do like the view,” Courtlynn muses.
“Me, too.” Baylor chuckles.
I glance over to see Courtlynn holding the iPad at an angle so Baylor can watch this all go down. Finally, my eyes land on Leighton. My quiet, reasonable sister.
“I don’t think Kinzie should have called him and told him to come up here.”
I nod, knowing she would be the reasonable one.
“However,” she says, and I groan, making everyone in the room laugh except for Copeland and me, “even after all these years, he still looks at you like you’re the air he needs to breathe.”
I take in a ragged breath at her words.
“I’m not saying to jump in headfirst, but allow your feet to get wet.
Get to know who you are now as adults who have paved their own way over the years.
Allow yourself to be open-minded, and if in the end it doesn’t work out, that’s okay.
At least you’ll be able to move forward with no regrets.
You’ll know you tried everything within you to make it work.
And yes, you’re strong enough to endure it a second time, if that’s what it comes down to, because you’re Ellison Moran.
Our big sister, who picked up all of our broken pieces and held us together.
Allow us the opportunity to do the same for you. ”
I nod, tears in my eyes.
“For the record,” Leighton adds, “I don’t think we’ll have to.” She glances over at Copeland, and when I follow her gaze, I’m met with the intensity of his.
No matter how hard I try, I can’t look away. I hear my sisters and my traitor of a best friend exit the room, and the soft click of the door as they leave us alone.
“You’re worth it,” Copeland says. “You’re worth every fucking thing, Ellison Moran.
” In a few long strides, he’s standing before me.
He lifts his hand and cradles my cheek in his palm.
“I’m so damn sorry I ever made you feel like you weren’t enough for me.
” I can hear the pain in his voice, in the rasp of his words.
“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”
“I needed to hear that, Ells. I don’t expect us to go from not speaking for seventeen years to happily together overnight.
What I do expect is to work for it. I expect to give you every single piece of myself.
I need to know what’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours so I can tell you my side of things.
You think you’re not worth it, but to me, you’re worth it all.
” He drops his hands from my face and pulls me into a hug.
I hesitate for maybe two seconds before I slide my arms around his waist and grip the back of his shirt. His scent and strong arms surround me, and I could stay here like this all night.
I don’t know how long we stand there. Neither of us makes a move to pull away, and I somehow know that he won’t. He’s waiting for me, and since my emotional madness started this mess, I need to be the one to finish it.
Lifting my head, I peer up at him as I loosen my grip on his shirt, let my arms drop, and step back. I open my mouth to apologize, but Copeland must be a mind reader now because he places his index finger over my lips.
“No apologies, Ells. I want your honesty, baby. I want your pain. I can’t repair what’s broken if you don’t give it to me.”
“This isn’t all on you,” I tell him. “I could have reached out. I was just as stubborn.”
“Maybe, but that was so last week,” he says, pitching his voice, his eyes crinkling at the corners with a smile.
I can’t help but smile at how ridiculous he sounds.
“We’re past that. Only looking ahead and healing this,” he says, pointing to my chest, “and this,” he says, leaning in to press his lips to my temple.
Stepping back, he offers me his hand. “Dinner?”
I smile and nod. “Dinner.” I place my hand in his and allow him to lead me downstairs, where no doubt we have an audience waiting for us.
“You have our girl home by midnight,” Courtlynn says as soon as we clear the bottom step.
“She might turn into a pumpkin.” Baylor laughs from the iPad.
“Just tell us if you’re not coming home,” Leighton says. “So we don’t worry.”
“I like where your mind went, Lei.” Kinzie grins. “We just might corrupt you yet.”
“I’ve been working on her.” Courtlynn cackles with laughter.
“No way,” Baylor says from the screen. “She will forever be our quiet, sensible sister.”
“Hey!” Leighton says, as if she’s offended, but we all know she’s not.
“I love you. All four of you, even if you’re a traitor,” I say, my eyes landing on Kinzie’s.
“I’ll always step on the battlefield with you, Ellie, even when the war’s not mine.”
“She’ll be home tonight. I don’t know what time,” Copeland tells them.
He looks down at me. “Before you go disappearing into the beautiful head of yours again, it’s not because I wouldn’t give everything I have to spend the entire night with you.
It’s because we’re doing this right. I'm going to show you you’re worth it. ”
“Worth what?” Baylor asks. I can hear the amusement in her voice over the speaker.