Chapter 16 #2
He nods. “You’ve been one of my best friends since we were kids. You left, and things shifted. I got close to her. We all did. It’s been hard to watch her be a shell of herself, but today, the smiles, the easy laughter… They’re real. They reach her eyes, and I know you’re the reason.”
“I’m here to stay,” I tell him. I could tell him everything that Ellison and I have discovered about her not getting my letters, and the other details of our past, but I’m still a little salty.
Sure, we’re okay, but if Ellison wants him to know, she’ll tell him.
Me? I’m not there yet. I can admit that I’m butt-hurt that he was there for her when I couldn’t be.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that she had Bowen and the guys, but fuck, what I wouldn’t have given for it to be me.
“Welcome home, man,” Bowen says, knocking his shoulder into mine.
“Thanks.” I stand. “I need to help Chan with the grill.”
“There’s a cold beer in a cooler calling my name,” he says as we round the side of the house.
Immediately, my eyes scan for Ellison, who is now standing and talking to my mom. I make a beeline for them. It’s on my way to the grill, which is what I tell myself. When I reach her, I place my hand on the small of her back. “You ladies need anything?” I ask them.
Ellison peers up at me. “Everything okay?” She worriedly bites down on her bottom lip.
“Everything is perfect,” I assure her. My thumb traces circles on her back, trying to soothe her worry.
“Oh, I like this,” Alice says, pointing between the two of us.
“Me too, Alice. Me too.” I kiss Ellison’s cheek and force myself to leave her so that I can help my brother with the grill.
The sun has long since set, and the backyard that was once filled with laughter, love, and too many water guns for three kids is now quiet and calm.
Everyone went home except for Ellison. I asked her to stay a little longer, because even though she was here most of the day, I feel as though I didn’t get any time with her.
When the patio door slides open, she steps outside, pulling it closed behind her. She makes her way to where I’m sitting around the small fire. “Saved you a seat,” I tell her, patting my lap.
“I think I’ll just take this one.” She moves to take the lounger next to mine, but I grab her arm, tugging her onto my lap.
“Nope,” I say, burying my face in her neck. She giggles and moves around until she’s comfortable, resting against my chest.
“Tell me something.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything. What was your life like the last seventeen years? You know mine was this small town, the Manor, my sisters, but I know nothing about the life you’ve been living. You rarely came back to Magnolia Ridge.”
“A couple of times a year, I’d visit if I wasn’t deployed.
It was hard to get away for much longer than that.
I never left either Mom’s or Chandler’s houses.
I was worried about running into you. As for the rest of it, I worked, I went on deployments, hung out with Kip when we had the chance, and that was it.
Nothing much to tell. I buried myself in work. Mostly, I missed you.”
“I’m sorry.” Her voice is small, and I hate it.
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.
I was stubborn. I refused to talk about you with them.
Hell, I was certain that I was coming home to have to watch you in wedded bliss with a man who wasn’t me, living the life we’d planned to live together.
It wasn’t until I told Chandler I was coming home to stay that he broke my rule and told me you were single. ”
“I tried dating. It just never worked out.”
“I feel like I should say that I’m sorry, but I’m not. If one of the idiots you tried with had pulled his head out of his ass and locked you down, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“It wouldn’t have mattered,” she whispers. “They weren’t you.”
My heart hammers against my rib cage. Her words light me up inside. It’s as if those three words are a shot of adrenaline to my nervous system. I wish I had the words to tell this woman what she means to me. I love you isn’t enough. “Ells,” I rasp.
She turns her body and moves to straddle me.
We’re now face-to-face with nothing but the glow of the moon and the light of the fire surrounding us.
My palms rest against her cheeks. “It was the same for me, and eventually, I just stopped. I didn’t date.
I didn’t go out. There has never been anyone for me but you, Ellison Moran.
I wish I could rewind all the years we lost, but I’m here now.
I’m here, and I love you more today than I did back then.
Distance and time, they’ve only made me love you more. ”
Tears slide down her cheeks, and I wipe them with my thumbs. “I’m still scared,” she confesses.
“I know, baby. I’m scared, too.”
Her eyes widen. “You are?”
I nod. “I’m scared as hell that I’m going to lose you again.
I’m afraid that loving you won’t be enough to move past the pain and the mistakes.
I’m fucking terrified of waking up in a world where you’re not next to me.
” I drop my hands from her face and grip her hips, holding her in place, as if she might disappear into the night.
“How is it possible that it feels like no time has passed?” she asks. She leans down, resting her cheek against my chest. “Your arms feel the same, your scent, it’s all as familiar as breathing.”
“It’s because your soul is tethered to mine, Ells. Not many can say they met the love of their life as a kid.”
“We had so many plans,” she says, fisting my shirt, as if she, too, needs reassurance I’m not going anywhere.”
“We did,” I agree. “Do you still want those things? Husband, house, kids, everything we talked about?” I hold my breath, worried she’s going to say she does, just not with me.
“Yeah,” she murmurs. “I still want those things. Do you?” She lifts her head to peer up at me.
Pushing the hair out of her eyes, I make sure that I have her attention when I tell her, “I only want them with you. It was our dream, Ells, and I only want to live it with you.”
More tears swim in those baby blues, but they don’t fall. Instead, she offers me a watery smile and places her head back on my chest.
I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly, and I close my eyes, relishing the feel of her. I meant what I said. I’m terrified that something will pull us apart, but this time, I’m geared up and ready for a fight.