Chapter 4 - Tyler
On autopilot, Tyler moved down the hall to the locker room, now quiet and dark. Training was a full-day, every day, but you could only push your body so long, and the coaches sent everyone home to rest by seven. The heat and damp of the last guys' showers hung in the silence.
What now? He had clothes and equipment in his locker, but would he need any of it again?
There were his grips, three of each, carefully worked in to the perfect degree of flexibility but not beyond, and his uniforms, socks and vault shoes, and—to hell with all of it.
If the Olympics weren’t enough incentive to keep him training, the odds were good he was never going to need that stuff again. Oh God!
He doubled over, clutching his stomach. Oh God, I really quit gymnastics! He wondered if his knees would give way, but before he hit the tile floor a voice behind him exclaimed, “Here! He's in here.”
The door banged, and light from the hall spilled in. Then strong hands caught his arm. By some miracle, he heard Eli's voice saying, “Tyler, are you okay?”
He turned to see Eli's face, just inches from his own, Eli's changeable hazel eyes, dark, almost brown now, peered at him in concern. The light caught Eli’s hair in a halo of curls but left his face shadowed. Tyler stared, wondering if this was some apparition of his exhausted brain.
A voice behind Eli said, “Come on, let's get him out of here before they start looking.”
Tyler glanced over Eli's shoulder at Stephen, and then focused on Eli again. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”
“I vouched for him,” Stephen said. “Worry about it later. We have to get you out of here before the press eats you for lunch.”
Tyler blinked, feeling like he was swimming through molasses. The air was thick and heavy, and Eli was looking at him. There was something important Tyler wanted to say, but what came out was, “You heard all that?”
“Yeah.” Eli's hand flexed on his arm. “You said you weren't outing yourself, you dork.”
“It didn't matter by then.” Tyler frowned, thinking of his dream. “You were in there?” Could he have found Eli's gaze on his after all, like he had in the dream, as he worked through that damned statement?
“We were in the hall,” Stephen said. “The sound came through clear enough. Come on! They'll be looking for you.” He turned to Eli. “We should change his look. I have a hoodie in my locker. And some shorts.”
“Right.” Eli reached for Tyler's belt and unbuckled it.
Tyler grabbed at his hands. “What...?” He wanted Eli to undress him—God I want that—but not here and now!
“Get with the program.” Stephen reached over Eli's arms to undo more buttons on Tyler's shirt and then hauled it upward. “Arms up. Come on, man. We need to get you changed.”
Obediently, bewilderedly, Tyler raised his arms. Stephen whipped the shirt off and stuffed it in his locker. He shoved a bright-green hoodie into Tyler's hands. “Get that on. I'll get the shirt back to you later.”
“Don't bother, it sucks,” Eli muttered from the floor where he'd dropped to one knee to pull Tyler's pants off. Tyler almost put a hand on his hair and then froze, palm hovering.
Stephen shoved a pair of black running shorts into Tyler's hand instead. “Suck later, change now.”
Eli tugged, working Tyler's shoes off with his pants and Stephen bent to give him a hand. “You don't want more microphones shoved in your face, do you?”
“Oh, God.” Tyler put a hand on Stephen's shoulder for balance and lifted his foot.
In minutes, he found himself dressed in the hoodie and shorts and a pair of sneakers, being towed by the hand behind Stephen.
“Come on,” Stephen said. “There’s a bunch of exits.
We’ll stay away from the gym end of the building.
I’m parked down under the trees anyway. We can make a run for it, just three of the guys, right?
They might come after us for 'How do you feel about.
..?' crap, but they won't make a big effort.
They'll be waiting for Tyler to show up out front, off the team and out of the closet.”
“Oh, God.” Tyler felt like a song stuck on repeat.
Eli smacked his shoulder. “Yeah, crazy man, you have them coming and going. Big fucking story. Don't worry, we'll get you out.”
At the door, he shoved Tyler's hood up and grabbed his arm. “Come on.”
They hurried across the lot. Sure enough, one of the reporters waiting at the entrance to the lot spotted them, and started their way, but the parking lot was a big one.
Stephen yanked them over to his SUV and shoved them both in the back.
“Ty, just duck down as we pull out. They won't chase after us just for a team-guy statement.”
Tyler bent over, hands to his shoes, as they drove around the building and headed for the side street. He heard shouting in the background as they pulled away. Then just quiet in the slanted evening sunshine.
“You can probably sit up now,” Eli said after a couple of minutes.
Tyler debated staying where he was, his face hidden.
But it was uncomfortable and the sway of the vehicle made him think he might hurl.
He sat up carefully and stared out the window.
They were driving down a quiet street, already blocks from the Olympic training center.
Beside him he heard Eli shift restlessly.
Stephen said, “So where to, guys? You might not want to go home—the press probably has Tyler's address.”
Eli said in a careful voice, “Tyler? Any ideas?”
The bottom of a lake? He shook his head.
“My folks have a cabin,” Eli told him, “But it's a good hour's drive.”
“No problem.” Stephen's voice was cheerful. “It's the least I can do for the guy who just took me from alternate to the Olympic team. You are too sweet to me, Tyler, baby.”
Tyler grunted, too tired to bother to glare at his teammate. Ex-teammate. “Didn't do it for you, you fuckhead. And why are you calling me baby?”
“Just making you feel at home, since we're all homos on this bus.”
That was enough to make him look up. “Really?”
“Hell, yeah. Although unlike you, I have a boyfriend. Also unlike you, I have the smarts not to out myself on national TV two weeks before the Games.”
Blackness rolled back over Tyler. “Doesn't matter now.”
“Yeah, it does. Talk about clouding the waters. Now they'll be torn between whether you quit because you fucked up your back or because you're gay.”
Tyler winced, and Stephen must have heard something because he sighed. “Sorry, joke. Really, I am sorry. I know it was your back, and...shit, even with maybe getting the chance to compete myself, I'm sorry as hell this happened to you. You were our best shot at glory, you know.”
“Then you'd better step up and fix that. Train like hell.”
“Oh, yeah. Coach is going to be a bear the next two weeks. I expect to have my ass reamed on a regular basis, and not in a good way, since the only bear I really want up my ass is my boyfriend.”
Tyler said, “Um,” and then stopped because really, he was not going there.
He stared out the window to keep himself from looking at Eli.
They never joked about stuff like this, never talked about sex at all.
At first, Tyler had been playing straight in front of Eli, and lately…
Tyler shifted in his seat. Lately Eli and sex had been all too close together in his mind.
It hadn’t been safe to talk about sex with his roommate; too much chance he would say something that couldn’t be taken back.
Stephen laughed. “Poor boy, you have been sheltered. We'll fix that once you stop feeling like you've been hit by a train.”
“Don’t tease him,” Eli said quietly.
“I’m not. He’s still one of the team. Right, Tyler? You still can hang out after practice and I'll introduce you to my boyfriend Max and the guys will...”
“Nope. No.” Tyler shook his head hard. “I'm out, off the team. I won't...I can't...”
“Okay, relax. You need space. I get that.” Stephen twisted for a quick glance at him. “But you're not going to be alone, right? You'll let that guy next to you hang around?”
“He's moving.” It slipped out bleakly before Tyler could think better of it. He held his breath, hoping for Eli to deny it, to say he’d changed his mind, to make this whole day worth something.
“Not right away.” Eli's response came fast. “Not soon. I'll be around.”
“Thanks,” Tyler whispered.
Then Eli added, “What else are roommates for?”
Roommates. Yeah.
Stephen put on the turn signal and pulled into the lot of a chain pharmacy. “Listen, I figure we should stop here? Get some snacks, toothbrushes, maybe some clean underwear for Media-boy?”
“Good thought.” Eli unbuckled his seatbelt.
Tyler didn't move. He didn't care. What was one night in dirty clothes? Even someone else's dirty clothes. He just couldn't drum up the energy to choose between Crest and Colgate, or chips and pretzels. The thought of snacks made his stomach heave.
Eli leaned closer to look at him and then told Stephen, “Wait here, okay. I'll just run in and get stuff. Ten minutes?”
“Take your time.” As Eli got out, Stephen turned off the engine and unclicked his seatbelt so he could lean against the door and peer back at Tyler.
Looking away out the window was rude, but meeting Stephen's humorous blue eyes was impossible.
Tyler let his eyelids droop shut and just breathed. The SUV's engine ticked as it cooled.
After a few minutes, Stephen said quietly, “Are you going to be okay?”
Tyler shrugged without opening his eyes.
“That had to be so fucking hard. I'm surprised you didn't just hang on with the team, see if you could make it, even just one event. You were the best, man.”
“Not anymore. You saw me this week. I can’t pull my weight consistently and I’d have just let the team down. That would have been worse than anything.”
“Fuck.” After a long pause, Stephen said, “That guy out there, Eli? He wants to be more than just your roommate.”
“No, he doesn't. I'm not his type. Anyway, he's tired of me.”