Chapter 31
Chapter thirty-one
Rockstar Cas Wilder has a secret sweet side, and I’m obsessed. At home in his city, he’s relaxed and at ease. The number of times he’s let his guard down is a new record—one I’m certainly not complaining about.
I stomp my feet on the sidewalk to stay warm,secretly glad Cas forced me into warm, fuzzy boots and a heavy jacket.
I’m currently waiting for him to tell me I can turn around.
He planned a surprise in the middle of a park.
I’ve been standing where he left me a few minutes ago, trying hard to resist the urge to peek over my shoulder.
At last, Cas calls from not too far away, “Alright, Vivienne, turn around.”
When I spin around, my eyes land on Cas.
He’s standing in front of a horse-drawn carriage.
There are Christmas wreaths and giant red bows decorating every crevice of it.
Inside, plush blankets are piled on the seat.
It takes my breath away. I stroll over to Cas.
My hands grip the collar of his jacket as I push up on my tiptoes and kiss him.
“You’re such a hopeless romantic,” I whisper against his lips before I pull away.
“Once again, guilty,” he rasps, low enough only I can hear.
Cas helps me into the carriage, then climbs in next to me.
He tucks the blankets around me, and to my surprise, it’s much warmer than I expected it to be.
I’m not even cold anymore as I settle against him.
“Thank you. This is magical. Truly, you’ve outdone yourself, and I know you’re only just getting started, which actually makes me terrified to find out what else you have up your sleeve. ”
“I told you, little muse, you’re mine for keeps. I might be bossy and diabolical, but I know how to treat my woman. I thought you’d know that by now.” His voice rumbles against my ear, and my stomach fills with butterflies.
He’s right. “I guess I’m just not used to it.”
“And I hate that. From the moment we met, all I wanted to do was show you what love should feel like.”
Shit! Cas said the four-letter word that’s been hanging between us since the moment I woke up in his bed this morning.
Silence surrounds us. I don’t really know what to say to that or how to respond.
But he doesn’t mind. We ride in a comfortable silence until we reach the first stop.
The driver tells us all about the location, including the movies it’s been featured in.
I listen intently, immersed in the experience.
We pull away a few minutes later, heading to the next stop on the tour.
“Take a picture with me,” Cas says, breaking our silence.
“Okay,” I shrug. “Are you going to post it?” I ask nervously.
“Of course I am. Think of it as our holiday greeting card to all our fans. They get to see us happy and celebrating our first Christmas together.”
Our.
I pick up on it the moment the words leave his lips.
It’s cute that he’s already planning more.
This man is obsessed with me in an unhinged way.
He’s acting like we’re in a committed relationship or something.
I pause. Are we in a relationship? It sure feels like it.
I’m definitely overthinking things. He’s been calling me his.
He got on a plane immediately after his tour to kidnap me, and we’ve each role-played a fantasy.
I think it’s safe to say we’re in a relationship.
I lean into him, beaming as he holds up his phone and snaps a pic.
Happy holidays. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. He types into the caption.
I melt. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be either.” I kiss his cheek.
“Good,” Cas growls, cupping my face and bringing his lips to meet mine. They crash together hungrily until once again we come to a stop. Even though I could kiss Cas in this carriage for hours I pull away, opening my eyes to see where we are.
The driver drones on in the background about where we’ve stopped. Cas kisses my neck gently enough to be a distraction. It’s impossible to focus on anything but him. “You’re quiet.” His warm breath lands against my ear. “What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing.” My response catches him off guard. “I’m just existing,” I explain, snuggling in closer to him.
“Okay. I like when you exist this close to me,” he teases.
“I like it too,” I confess enjoying everything about this moment. “Talk to me. I missed the sound of your voice.”
A deep, satisfying sigh is followed by, “That’s not all you missed.”
“Cas!” I hiss, scolding him, which elicits a few chuckles.
“Fine. We’ll discuss the other things you missed later, in private. What do you want me to talk about right now?” he concedes.
“Tell me why you moved to New York? Have you always lived here?”
The carriage lurches forward, and we continue to our next stop on the tour.
I listen intently as Cas allows me past the hundreds of walls he normally keeps up.
It’s true I missed the sound of his voice, but this version of Cas—this is what my heart needed in order to let him in.
It needed Cas to be vulnerable and share pieces of himself.
The hum of his voice pulls me out of my reflection.
“I bought my house almost two years ago, right before my grandmother passed away.”He swallows hard. “She loved New York. We lived here for a year while she was getting care from a specialist. She talked endlessly about staying once she was better, but we both knew she wasn’t going to get better.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
He nods, clearing his throat. “Don’t be sorry.
Her dying wish was for me to settle down and meet someone.
She used to complain about how hard I worked and the long hours on the road.
The year we spent here in New York together, well, it made me slow down and realize I wasn’t living life. I was just existing through it.”
Tears fill my eyes. My chest aches for him.
I know the feeling of loss all too well.
Despite how painful it must be for him to talk about it, he keeps going.
“She left me everything, and I used it to buy the house we dreamed about. I took that year off to spend all the time I had left with her, and I wrote an entire album.”
Mentally, I do the math. The album he wrote—it’s the one he just finished touring for.
His story pulls at a memory. I knew this.
Roxy told me about it. In fact, it starts to dawn on me that I know a lot more about Cas than I’ve ever stopped to really give myself credit for.
This whole time, I’ve convinced myself I was running because I didn’t know him, but the truth is I did.
I ran out of fear. I hate that we lost out on time together because I was scared.
But how was I supposed to know the world’s favorite bad-boy rockstar turns out to be the man of my dreams?
“The album didn’t get signed for a tour right away.
The label wanted me to promote it. I started filming clips all over the city, and then it went viral.
My manager called to offer me a world tour a few months later.
” He pauses as the driver stops talking and clears his throat, realizing we’ve been carrying on a secret conversation all along.
“Please don’t stop on our account. I paid for the guided tour.” Cas’s voice is instantly edgy and dangerous.
I’m immediately turned on by it even though I shouldn’t be.
“Are you even listening?” the driver asks.
“Actually, I’m a woman, and I’m capable of multitasking. I can be both deep in a perfect moment with my boyfriend and still also be listening to what you’ve said about each of the landmarks we’ve stopped at.” I bite back before Cas has a chance to say anything.
“Fine,” he grumbles, turning around and continuing his memorized speech.
“That was so fucking hot,” Cas groans. “You? boyfriend. So what does that entail?”
“Don’t let it go to your head, Mr. Rockstar,” I quip before kissing him lightly.
He deepens our kiss, dominating my mouth, my body, and my mind as I surrender into a willing victim. When Cas breaks the kiss, he whispers, “It’s too late, it went straight to my head.”
“Well, what are we going to do about that?”
“When I get you home, I’m going to ravish you until you’re breathless—until you can’t stop screaming my name,” he rasps.
“Don’t you dare break your promise,” I mumble.
“I could never,” he groans. “It’s a good thing we have another stop because you have me so fucking hard.”
Oof. I definitely came in my panties. I don’t know if I can wait until he takes me home. Part of me wants to jump him right now. There’s no way the driver is going to be cool with it. “Does that mean we’re heading home early?”
“No, little muse, it means I’m going to make you wait all day for this dick to sate your every fucking need.”
“Cas!” I gasp, his words winding me tight with need. “You’re such a tease.”
“You say that, and yet it’s funny you’re the first girl I met on tour and the only one who made it into my bed. You made me fly across the country on multiple occasions because you wanted to play hard to get, and now that I’ve caught you—“ he scoffs.
“Now that you’ve caught me, what?” I interrupt.
“I can’t believe you have the audacity to call me a tease,” he snickers. “You better take at least four scoots away from me so we can both cool off. We’re going to be at Battery Park in less than five minutes.”
I cackle. “Oh, I have no intention of making this easy for you. You’re lucky I don’t—“ I reach a gloved hand for his thigh with the intention to trace the outline of his dick pressing against his jeans the way I already know it is, but he stops me.
“Shame on you. We are in a public park. I thought we talked about this. Don’t worry, later we’ll get you the help you need.” He says it with a perfectly straight face while smirking like he knows he just won.
I ignore his gloating and wait for us to arrive at the final stop while Cas, no doubt, tries to get rid of his erection.