Chapter 6
Junie
I have no idea why, but Scuba Steve hates me.
Eva seems to disagree, but she kept her opinion strangely close to her chest today. She’s never been one to shy away from telling me exactly what she thinks, but she’s been acting suspicious ever since we left our first diving lesson.
We finally got to check on Jimmy after class. He’s been introduced to the other turtles in the rehabilitation tanks and he's already doing much better. He seemed faster, more lucid, and from what I could tell, happy. It warms my heart that I was able to help in some small way.
I’m becoming obsessed with the sanctuary. Despite Steven’s dour attitude, the work they do is so inspiring. And even though we only swam in circles around the pool today, scuba diving seems awesome too.
I was constantly flustered by Steven’s nearness. His hands, somehow warm after hours in the water, brushed against mine as he adjusted my dive vest, and my heart nearly beat out of my chest.
But breathing underwater is surreal. Floating weightless and watching my breath plop to the surface in tiny bubbles feels out of this world. I can’t wait to get into the ocean tomorrow—but I’m a little disappointed that he won’t be there to scowl and glare at me.
“Sorry we’re spending the last few days of our vacation studying.”
Eva and I are lying on our stomachs in bed, dive books spread open with highlighters purchased from the resort’s gift shop.
“Are you kidding? This is awesome. I can’t wait to try it in the ocean tomorrow. Steven’s a really great instructor.”
“Mm, do you think so?” I ask, pursing my lips and focusing on my book.
“He’s so patient and passionate about the ocean. And God, he can’t stop looking at you.”
My head whips toward her. “What are you talking about?”
“Junie, come on. It’s him, isn’t it? That’s who you want to have a one night stand with! I think he’s perfect for you.”
I let my head flop down into my training book and groan.
“Eva, he can’t stand me. He’s not interested.”
“That’s not what I saw.”
“Then your mask must’ve been foggy.” I roll my eyes and turn a page in my book, pretending to read. “Or maybe your tank was full of laughing gas.”
“I’m just saying, we have a few more days here. You’re young, hot, and single. He’s here, he’s available.”
“You don’t know that.” I flip another page with unnecessary force. “He could be with Juliette.”
“Yes, I do. I saw Mason while you were taking pictures of Jimmy, and I asked him. He says that Steven is single. He’s lived on the island for a few years now and other than his bromance with Mike, he’s alone.
He doesn’t hang out with the volunteers much even though they all idolize him, and his eternal bachelorhood is the subject of much gossip and folklore. ”
“Eva, what the hell? He’s a man, not a legend.”
“When’s the last time you had a totally crazy, no strings attached, wild night of sex?”
“Umm, never. I’m not spontaneous like you.” I give up on the pretense of reading and cap my highlighter.
“I’m just saying, the clock is ticking. We’ll be back in Eastern Pines before you know it. I think you should go for it. You two could heat the whole ocean with those yearning looks.”
“Now you’re just being stupid. Rising sea temperatures contribute to the death of coral reefs. It’s not sexy.” I’m pouting, but I’m right. I learned that in the museum yesterday.
“You can purposely miss the point all you want. I just want you to know that I support you. You deserve to have some fun. I know this trip didn’t exactly work out the way you planned.” She gestures around at the honeymoon suite I booked for a couple who no longer exist.
“Thank you.” I squeeze her hand. “But coming with you was probably the best thing that could’ve happened. If I was here with David, we wouldn’t have eaten anywhere that didn’t have chicken tenders on the menu. I needed this.”
Eva snorts. “I’m sorry, but that’s probably true, and that’s just sad.”
“It’s not his fault. I didn’t realize how important travel was to me either until Grandma Frannie passed.
When he tried to get me to cancel the trip, I felt like I might as well climb into my coffin instead.
I feel alive here, like I never did back home.
I thought I’d be lost without him, but what if I’m meant to be discovering myself—exploring the world, speaking new languages, trying new foods, meeting new people?
If I’m not David’s girlfriend, or his future wife, then I’m just…
a woman with a shitty office job living in her hometown.
That can’t be all that my life was meant for. Right?”
“Your life is whatever you want it to be, Junie. You don’t have to decide it all right now. I think what you’re doing is brave.”
“Is it? I admire you so much. You’re single, and happy, and you travel all the time. I would never have taken this trip alone if you couldn’t come. You love your job, you’re a great friend, you even find the time to work out. You look amazing. What’s your secret?”
“There’s no secret. Just a lot of trial and error. I’m glad that my coming helped you feel more comfortable, but you know, you could do it too. You were off on your own quite a bit these past two weeks, and you had fun, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but I always had you to talk to at the end of every night. I wouldn’t know how to be on the other side of the world from everyone I know. The time difference is killing me. I’ve missed like ten calls from my sister this week.”
“Lisa?” Eva’s eyes widen. She knows how rare it is for my baby sister to make an appearance. “Is everything okay?”
“I have no idea because we can’t get the timing right.” I grimace. “And she’s allergic to any form of communication that isn’t on her terms.”
“I’m just saying, I’ve had an awesome time with you, but I think you’d be a great solo traveler, if that’s what you decide to do with your newfound freedom. You’re not stuck in Eastern Pines. You can always make a change.”
Maybe she’s right. I used Eva like a safety blanket because I couldn’t face boarding that plane to Bali by myself, but we’d done our own thing a lot since we landed.
She’d burned out on my packed schedule after she nearly drowned white water rafting, and I’d continued to enjoy my own company while she got to know Jake.
As brutal as the time alone to think had been, I really did feel like I was starting to heal.
Grannie was my role model; the love of my life.
She was full of stories about burning her bra, flying to India, and hitchhiking her way across the world.
She’d wanted more for me than just a cookie cutter life, making my parents proud, and I feel like I’m finally starting to understand what she meant.
Eva pops up onto her knees and hugs me.
“Thank you. It’s hard to start over,” I finally admit.
“It’s not starting over. It’s all part of your journey.” She squeezes me tightly, and I try to let her words sink in.
“Let’s get some rest. We’ve got our first dive scheduled tomorrow.” I clear my book and my notes off the bed and grab my toiletries bag.
“And your next chance to bang the hot turtle guy,” Eva winks. I throw a pillow at her face and run to the outdoor bathroom before she can retaliate.
*****
Steven said he was only covering that first class, but he’s waiting at the sanctuary bright and early, drinking toxic sludge from a souvenir mug.
Eva’s elbow in my side is a clear I told you so, but I’m not so sure.
“No Juliette today?” I ask, aiming for politely inquisitive.
“Mmm,” he grumbles, not deigning to even grace me with words.
Sure Eva, sparks are flying, I think.
The shore dive is phenomenal. It’s one thing to try on all the gear in the safety of a swimming pool, but remembering all of the numbers, the equipment, and the hand signals in the ocean is a challenge.
Distractions are everywhere—in the swaying sea grass, the curious fish, an instructor who seems to be most approachable in the water where neither of us can speak.
Scuba diving is so much more immersive than snorkeling. I feel like a mermaid. A fish. I’m one with the water and I never want to come back up.
The dives focus mainly on practicing our buoyancy, testing our understanding of the equipment, and our communication underwater.
But I want to follow every fish, every crab, every flash of something new, and I have to focus to keep from smiling around my regulator at every new creature.
It’s like landing on another planet. The slow, rhythmic sound of my breaths soothes me.
The bubbles trail upward, twenty feet above us through the crystal clear water.
But the next morning is the final day of training.
After we complete the last two dives and get Steven’s sign off, we’ll officially be certified Open Water divers.
Steven promised that today will be less about tests and drills and more about the experience of diving.
We all passed the online quizzes last night and we’re ready to complete the final requirements.
Eva, Nick, Nancy, and I stand on the deck, nervously shuffling our feet and grinning at each other as the boat swarms with organized chaos. It’s all we can do to just stay out of the way.
“I could hardly sleep last night,” Nancy announces, fidgeting with her sun hat. “I’m just so excited.”
“It’s great that you girls are getting started young.
” Nick nods as Eva and I exchange a look.
We’ve been surrounded by younger 20 somethings on this trip and it’s been hard to feel young most days.
“Life doesn’t wait for you to be ready, you know.
If you really want to do something, go for it.
Don’t wait until you’re old and gray like us. ” He and Nancy smile at each other.
“But you’re so inspiring,” Eva says. “I love that you’re both still trying new things. You’re seeing the world. So many people get stuck in their ways.”