Chapter 14
Steven
Fuck, the way she jumped on me, I wanted to throw her down on the deck and take her right there. What kind of woman just launches herself at a man in public unless she’s trying to torture him? I’ll admit it, I got spooked.
I want her, but I want her all to myself. I couldn’t look at her after that without tenting my shorts, so I hid. What can I say? It was not my finest moment, but I hadn’t expected a public performance before a private conversation.
I still have to apologize for leaving her in that hallway. She probably thinks I’m an asshole and I can’t blame her. There’s a lot I need to explain if I can find the words. She needs to know that I’m not looking for a quick shag. That is, if I haven’t completely blown it already.
At least I know why Mike seems so smug when he reminds me about Turtle Watch. He’s taking every opportunity to leave me alone with her as if physical proximity can solve whatever tension is building between us. I hope he’s right.
I want her. I can admit that now. She was amazing on today’s dive. I was worried about her inexperience and hovered more than I should have, but she took the lead and blew me away. The win was all hers; I’d been too busy staring to contribute much.
Now that I’ve let Mike talk me out of my morals, I can think of nothing else but getting that woman underneath me. I want to hear my name on her lips as she clenches around me. I want to kiss that constant smile of her pink lips.
How can I focus on nesting turtles all night with her right beside me? It’s hardly a good working environment if I can barely keep my pants on around her. I haven’t felt a craving like this before.
Junie is strangely quiet when she finds me on the beach.
I’ve laid a blanket on a sand dune where we can comfortably scout for nightly visitors.
I explain the process briefly, but her mind is clearly somewhere else.
Has something happened since the clean-up dive?
I want to ask—I’m suddenly possessed with a fierce desire to protect her—but she has no reason to trust me.
Instead, I try to rile her up.
“Turtle Watch can get pretty boring. We’ll have to be quiet for hours. Think you can handle that?” I smirk.
She frowns, lowering the binoculars and pouting those sweet lips. The lower one is puffy from being chewed on—a nervous habit? I’m lost in my fantasies when she turns to me and unleashes more words in two minutes than she’s said all evening.
“Listen, I’m sorry for what happened on the boat.
You told me you’re not interested, and I’ll respect that going forward.
I just don’t want things to be weird between us.
If this is about the videos, I know I got carried away and I never should have made them at all, but just know that I never would’ve posted them.
I get that I’m just some Bali Bimbo to you and that you wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole, but I’ve been going through a lot and this is important to me.
I really like diving and I really want to help with the sanctuary’s mission.
It’s only for a month. I promise I won’t be a distraction. ”
I’m stunned. There are so many things to pick apart in that monologue, I don’t know where to start. “Bali Bimbo?” I mutter, then louder, “What videos?”
“You know, ‘come to Bali for the turtles, stay for the sexy dive masters’?” She’s caught a lot of sun, but I still see her blush, and I can’t stop thinking about kissing her.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I shake my head and sit up. She mirrors my position, but I’m much bigger than her. I feel predatory, the way I focus on her, observing the effect on her breathing as I move closer.
“It’s stupid,” she says quietly, eyes widening as she looks at me. I can see her pulse throbbing in her neck. The quiver of her lips as I slowly erase the last few centimeters of space between us.
“Do you think I’m a sexy dive master?” I ask, giving her time to move away. She must be able to read the desire burning through my gaze.
She could lie, but I can smell her. Her woman’s scent perfumes the air and all I can think about is her wet and willing underneath me. She bites down on her chapped bottom lip and it takes everything in me to wait for her answer and not just suck it into my own mouth.
My desire for her is an aching, hungry thing and it’s been denied for too long.
“Of course I do,” she breathes, somehow making the words a quiet challenge.
I frame her face with my hands. I have to clear the air. I have to get her out of my system. I have to accept the inevitable.
“I don’t hate you.” I take a deep breath and try not to lose myself in her eager eyes. Their hazel, swirling depths are captivating even under the darkening sky. “I don’t—ahh, fuck it.”
I use my thumbs to tilt her chin up, arching her neck as I claim her lips. She makes a soft mewl of pleasure that goes straight to my cock as I swipe my tongue through her hot, sweet mouth.
She clings to my neck and returns the kiss, tightening to pull me closer. It’s hungry, searching. We’ve been dancing around each other for days as I fought the feeling. I’ve avoided her, ignored her, pissed her off, and she’s still here, flirting and smiling and knocking the breath out of me.
I kiss her so thoroughly she’ll never be able to leave it at one night.
I pour every ounce of yearning I’ve felt for days into the way I hold her.
It may only be a few weeks, but there will be time to get to know her.
To find out how she’s grown so bubbly and confident and brave.
There will be time to strip every item of her clothing off with my teeth and lick her clean with my tongue.
I kiss her, crushing her tiny body into mine, showing her how hard she makes me—letting her feel my body’s response to her. The taste of her is better than I dreamed. I want to bottle her up and drink her all night.
But we have a job to do. So eventually, I let her go.
We part on a soft gasp, chests moving rapidly. Her hair blows in the breeze and her eyes shine with tiny reflections of the stars. I can still smell her, and I have to grit my teeth against the urge to throw her over my shoulder and carry her back to my cave.
“So, you don’t hate me then?” she finally asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Nah, I was just being a cunt. We should talk about this”—I gesture between the two of us—“whatever you want this to be. But we can’t do it now. The turtles won’t come if we’re making too much noise.”
“Yeah, of course. I really want to do this right.” She nods, resolute. I hate to see her look so serious when her cheeks are still fresh with the color I put there.
She deserves a real conversation, but I’ve chosen the absolute worst time to have one. But we have time, I remind myself.
I want to savor her. I want to keep discovering new layers to her every day, one by one, so that I never reach the end of new experiences with her.
Because that kiss completely ruined me. I’m all-in.
I need to brace myself for rejection if she doesn’t expect to spend the rest of her time here with me following her around like a puppy.
I tried to stay away. I tried to protect us both. But she kept pushing me, kept showing up, kept getting under my skin. And now she’s here to stay.
A month, anyway.
It will have to be enough.
We lie on our bellies for hours, scanning the beach in silence. The sunset fades into a dusky purple. The crash of waves and the distant beat of dance music floats over the water. I’m drunk on being near her.
I use the time to plan a real date with Junie. I want to hear more about what brought her here and why she decided to stay. Maybe it won’t hurt like hell when she leaves if I always remember that it’s coming—if I never let that fact slip my mind.
There’s no point in ignoring reality. Projecting my fantasies onto other people has only hurt me. Maybe there’s value in facing this with unflinching honesty. I’ll need tomorrow to pull everything together, but the day after, I’ll get her alone and we’ll discuss it like adults. No more games.
For a while after our kiss I could feel her rapt attention, but as the hours pass, she looks sleepy. I don’t bother to wake her. There’s no chance of me resting any time soon.
Finally, there’s movement—a black silhouette crawling up the beach. The massive creature scuttles toward the shadows cast by the mangrove trees as I squeeze Junie’s hand.
“Look,” I whisper as she gently stirs. I pass her the binoculars and point to the gnarled roots where the big green turtle is digging her hole.
I flick on a red torch so we can watch without disturbing her.
If she doesn’t feel safe, she could trample her eggs, or return to the ocean without laying any.
The whole process will take hours, but it always feels like magic. We hear the scrape of sand and a strange gasping as the new mother prepares her nest.
When the hole is about a meter deep, she turns and faces the ocean, her face serene. She’ll lay around 100 eggs, but only 1 in 1000 will ever make it to adulthood, which is why we occasionally risk moving them in this high predator environment.
She moves like an ancient dinosaur, performing a ritual as old as life itself.
When she begins the process of expelling the eggs, I nudge Junie and lead her closer.
As long as we stay out of the turtle’s sight and don’t make noise, we can observe the drop of the sticky, ping pong sized sacs.
I shine the small red light on her tail, careful not to disturb her.
Junie’s lips part in a silent, “Wow,” and she looks up at me with glittering eyes.
She understands.
I gave up everything and made a home on this island to protect these creatures.
To swim with them, observe them, and give them the best chance at life.
I’ve devoted the last three years to it.
I’ve thought about moving on, getting a new boat and exploring other shores, but the birthing and hatching season always pulls me back.
Adult sea turtles give birth every three to four years, and they almost always return to the beach where they hatched. Nesting season always makes me feel close to nature, and very far from home.
In all their years of exploration, didn’t they know that there are safer waters? That there are islands and beaches where their nests stand a better chance of being left alone? But their instincts always bring them back here, and as long as they consider it home, I want to keep it safe for them.
I’ve seen thousands of baby turtles march off into the big ocean, and no matter how much I want to, I can’t save them all.
But I’m here, now, with Junie. We’re watching this mother bury her eggs like planting seeds of a tree she will never enjoy the shade from, and I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.