Chapter 25
Junie
I want to show Steven around Eastern Pines, but I’m still reeling from last night. Shocked and angry doesn’t begin to cover it. David was still living in my house—in Grannie’s house! What kind of self-respecting man surrounds himself with another woman’s doilies?
I’m furious with myself for trusting him, and I’m humiliated that Steven had to see that. What must he be thinking? The entire time we were hooking up on the beach, there’d been another man living in my home.
I’m mortified. So as much as I was looking forward to giving him the grand tour, I’m grateful for the chance to sneak away and run some errands on my own while he relaxes around the house.
I’ve worked at Harper Realty since the day they opened, and at one point, I thought they considered me part of the family. As the company grew, so did my responsibilities, but the pay never seemed to increase even as the Harper family upgraded their cars and clothes over the years.
They’d made me feel pretty terrible about taking those initial two weeks off. Mr. Harper was insistent that they couldn’t function without me—I’d never taken more than a day off in almost six years—but that was exactly why I needed it.
When I’d called to let them know I’d be extending my vacation another month, Mrs. Harper sighed and said they’d start looking for my replacement.
I wasn’t hurt by that—I realize they need someone managing their appointments and answering their phones.
I probably could’ve run their social media while volunteering at the sanctuary, but they never even tried to explore options with me.
In fact, I haven’t heard from anyone in the family since that phone call.
I just want to pick up a few things I’ve left behind and say an official goodbye to everyone.
Some resentment has built up over the years, but we’ve had a lot of good times together.
I’m proud of their success and the business I feel that I’ve helped them build.
Their faces wink from house signs and billboards all over town; I just hope they’ll pay their next administrative assistant more.
“Hi, welcome to Harper Realty. How can we help you find your dream home?”
“Hi, I’m Junie. I’m just here to pick up some things I left in my desk?”
“Oh, the old assistant! Mr. Harper had me put everything in a box in the back. I can go get it for you!” Her smile is bright and overly perky. I wonder if I ever looked like that greeting customers.
“Do you mind if I go grab it? I’d like to say hello to everyone.
” I want to thank them for everything they’ve done for me and let them know I’m leaving the country for good.
It may not have always been a pleasure working here, but they’d given me my first job out of college and I’ve grown a lot with them.
Having free rein over so many projects helped me develop the skills and confidence that are going to make freelancing possible.
The girl’s mouth twists into an unpleasant pout.
“Let me just go check with Mr. Harper. It’s a staff-only area.”
My smile grows brittle. I know it is, I hung the “Employees Only” sign with my own hands, but I merely nod and fold my arms across my chest to wait.
She slips behind the door while I scan the room. So many pictures over the years, including one from Opening Day. I look so young and eager, ready for anything. I feel that same energy now when I think of Steven and living near the ocean. That same flutter of possibility.
A few minutes later, the girl returns with a large cardboard box.
“He’s on a call right now and doesn’t want to be disturbed,” she says, shuffling it into my arms. “But feel free to stop by any time! I’m sure they’d love to see you now that you’re back.”
I try not to let the disappointment melt into hurt, but a strange ache seems to radiate through my chest. I glance into the box and see a photo of me and David piled on top. It reminds me of the first few days after the break up and I feel sick.
It hurts to realize someone you love only ever cared what you could do for them.
I could have left a note, or tried harder to have a last goodbye with the family I’ve worked with for the past six years, but what would be the point? There’s nothing else they need from me.
And there’s nothing I need from them.
That chapter of my life is firmly over. This visit is just about wrapping up loose ends and letting everyone know. The guilt-free era of my one wild and precious life starts now. For once, I’m doing what I want to do.
And I want to do a hot scuba instructor with a delicious accent.
*****
But first I have to deal with my ex.
We meet at a cafe on Main Street and I try not to look visibly anxious as I wait for him to arrive.
I’ve got a few of his things in a garbage bag under the table—I was too angry this morning to find something more suitable.
The time for moving boxes was over a month ago, and he couldn’t be arsed.
My lip twitches at the corner when I realize that’s a Steven phrase slipping into my lexicon.
“Junie, looking lovely as always.” His voice sounds oily and drips condescension as he pulls out a chair and sits across from me.
“David,” I say evenly, hands wrapped around my coffee mug.
“I’m glad you’re back. I’ve missed you so much. About last night—”
“I need you to explain last night, but also the last month. Why are you still living in Grannie’s house?” I go for the jugular. I don’t want to spend any longer here than I have to.
His mouth presses into a thin line like I’ve just interrupted a memorized speech. Did he practice it on the drive over?
“Sweetheart.” He reaches out as if to touch my hand, but lets it drop when I don’t move. I pull my shoulders back and meet his eyes, daring him to lie to me. “You were so upset when you left for your trip. You were still grieving. I admit, I didn’t know how to support you.”
“Fuck grieving. You watched me talk about this trip for months.”
He sighs like I’m being difficult. “I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. Even afterward, I thought it was just something you had to get out of your system. You know I don’t like flying…”
“It wasn’t about you!” I shout and then glance around at the other customers before dropping my voice.
“For once, I wanted to do something for myself. Something I needed. Something Grandma Frannie inspired me to do. And you couldn’t be bothered to fill out some paperwork, or take two weeks off work. ”
“Well you know how important my job is.”
“I know that you think it makes you look important.” I counter.
“Junie, let’s start over. We’re good together. We should get married. You know, I haven’t had a home-cooked meal since you left. I’m useless without you.” He smiles like he’s just said something charming. My stomach lurches.
“Married? David, we’re over.”
“Your sister thought it was a good idea.”
“Lisa? Why have you been talking to my sister?” I laugh and shake my head. “This is crazy. I’m not going to marry you. I’m not going to cook any more dinners for you. I thought that was clear when I flew to Bali and blocked your number.”
“Well, I could hardly talk to you about it when you weren’t answering my calls.”
“There’s nothing more to talk about, David. I loved you, but I’ve moved on. Here’s the rest of your crap.” I nudge the trash bag over with my foot. He wrinkles his nose like he smells something rancid.
“Is this about the giant? Be realistic, Junie. What can he offer you? A pocketful of sand? A necklace made of seashells? I’m due for a promotion any day now. We could move to the city, like we always said.”
My chest feels like it caved in. Just a few months ago, marrying David and moving to the city would’ve been a dream.
Someone else’s dream. I can’t believe that I thought my life was over because this man didn’t love me like I’d hoped.
It feels like the world has gotten bigger since then—at least mine has.
“Anything else you’ve left behind is going to Goodwill. I’m changing the locks. Good luck with your promotion, David.” I stand up, not even bothering to finish my coffee. I’ll take love and pockets full of sand over whatever this is any day.
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’ll send you a postcard from paradise.” I toss the words over my shoulder without a backward glance.
*****
By the time we’re on the way to my parents’ house with a bottle of wine, I feel better. Stronger. Like I can handle anything.
“My family might be a little surprised, but they mean well, and they only want what’s best for me,” I assure Steven in the car. He smiles at me, but it feels off. “Is everything okay?”
“’Course.” He shakes his head. “Sweet as. It’s just a lot to take in.”
I laugh. “This is nothing. My friends and I used to feel so suffocated here in high school. I can’t believe I moved back here after college.”
“Why did you?”
I sigh and look out the windshield. We don’t have nearly enough road left to answer that question accurately.
“I guess because David did. He wanted to live near his family while we saved up for a big move to the city.”
“New York City?”
“Mmhmm.” I nod, turning onto the dirt road that leads to my parents’ property. In the distance, I can see the driveway filled with cars, including my sister’s.
“What did you want to do there?” Steven asks, stroking my thigh absentmindedly. I can feel his eyes on me, but I keep my gaze forward.
“Well, David wanted to do some screenwriting. We have a few friends who moved out to the city, so he thought having some connections might help.”
“That guy writes movies?” His eyebrows shoot up and I stifle a laugh.
“Not quite. But he definitely planned to start, once we moved there. I guess he needed the setting first before he could make the dream work.”
“So that’s why he wanted to move, but what were you going to do there?”
I pull up behind my sister’s car and park. I have a fleeting thought about what will happen to my car when I leave for Gili Telu. I have to add that to the never-ending list of things to handle before I go back.
“Nothing, really. Be with him. Cook dinner.” I can’t keep the bitterness from my tone as I turn my body toward him.
“I told you, Bali was a big eye-opener for me. I haven’t been acting like the main character in my own life for a long time.
I couldn’t be more thankful that David’s afraid of flying. ”
“I’m pretty thankful for that too.” How is he so gorgeous without even trying? He’s too big for my little Volkswagen Jetta, too tan for fall in Upstate New York, but he’s perfect for me.
“My mom’s name is Rachel and she’s a real animal-lover, so she’ll probably talk your ear off. My dad, Scott, is a little on the shy side, but once he gets to know you, he’ll open up. If he invites you to play darts, then you’ll know you’ve made it. You’re part of the family for life.”
He tucks a strand of wild hair behind my ear as I straighten my clothes reflexively. “I know, beautiful. We went over this already. Are you nervous?”
“I don’t want to be. It’s not about you.
Or my decision. Just…” I flap my hands, trying to indicate everything.
“Lisa can be a bit of a drama queen if she feels like she’s not getting enough attention.
Honestly, I think she’s jealous of her own baby sometimes.
I don’t know. Maybe this is a bad idea. Should we just turn around? ”
“Too late for that.” He bobs his head and I turn to see Dad waving at us from the front porch. Steven lifts a hand back and we step out of the car, bracing for the worst.