Chapter 24 Sloane
SLOANE
As soon as Dane left, I knew I wasn't going to just sit around doing nothing.
Those men are out there waiting and I'm desperate to know what they’re doing and where they are.
So I rifled under Ellie's bathroom cabinet and found some old Halloween hair dye and splashed it on my hair.
It's temporary, so it'll wash out in a few weeks, but that, along with a quick trim to give myself bangs and shorter hair, means I can hopefully pass as someone else for a while.
I leave a note for Dane on the kitchen counter in case he gets back before me, then I slip out the back door before I can second-guess the decision.
He'll be furious when he gets back and finds me gone, but I can't sit in that house anymore, letting fear dictate every move.
And if we're going to make it out of this, we'll need help.
Maybe I'll be able to recruit some others who'll stand beside us when Maddox decides to make his move.
The air is crisp, biting my skin as my feet crunch the snow.
I borrowed a coat from Ellie's closet that's a little girly for my taste, but it hugs my hips and thighs too, which is nice, given the stiff breeze.
The town square is only a few blocks from her place, and at least the buildings block the wind so it doesn't steal what little warmth is left in my bones.
I don't think I've even fully warmed up after my night on the mountain with Dane.
The Christmas shop is set up in the town square where every shop's windows are decorated with fake snow and twinkling lights.
Small carts and booths with thick canvas sides to block the wind are set up and locals browse handmade ornaments, knitted scarves, carved wooden figurines.
It's aggressively festive and I love it.
Though it's no New York City. Nostalgia hits hard when I pass the towering twelve-foot tree, and I feel sadness pinch my chest. I miss my city and my traditions.
I keep my head down, hood up, as I weave through the crowded space trying to blend in.
If there are men associated with Cal Maddox here, I don't see them.
Of course, just like I've changed my appearance to blend in, they could have too.
It doesn't make my job easier, given that I don't know what any of them actually look like and other than Ellie and a few other women I met at the Halloween bash, I'm not sure who is local and who isn't.
I'm beginning to regret this choice to come out and get the lay of the land when I spot a booth set up with hunting and fishing items. Since I'm out, I may as well pick up something for Dane.
He's put up with me enough that he deserves it, and the idea of seeing him reluctant to accept a gift from me makes me smile.
I browse the knife display near the back, running my fingers over handles carved from the bones of animals.
Dane needs a good hunting knife. His current one works, but it's worn.
So I settle on analyzing every knife on this table until I find one that catches my eye, a fixed-blade knife with a leather-wrapped handle, balanced for both utility and throwing.
But what makes it special is the hollow handle that unscrews to reveal a compact survival kit stowed inside.
It's practical and thoughtful and exactly the kind of thing he'd appreciate and probably use.
I peg Dane as a very pragmatic man who can appreciate gifts he can use, not fancy sweaters or expensive trinkets.
So I buy it for the price of forty dollars and pay the woman running the stand with the little cash I had tucked into my clutch the night Cal's men drugged me and brought me here.
As she rings it up, I find myself watching people pass by the booth, happily doing some Christmas shopping in the frigid air.
This place is so unlike the city, I could almost enjoy it if not for the lack of convenience.
There isn't a single fast-food restaurant around, and if I need a pharmacy, I have to go into the nearest town outside Sutter's Gap, which is a thirty-mile trek.
But this place is so friendly, it almost makes up for it.
Dane asked me to stay here after all of this is said and done and I'm safe, and I'm not sure what to do with that.
I'm never going to convince him to go back to New York.
Even if he could live an isolated life and blend in, the city holds too many memories for him.
He came here to forget things, not just vanish, and I've seen the torment he's been going through as Cal's little packages have reminded Dane about his past.
"You're all set, hon." The woman hands me the knife in a plastic sack with a smile. "For Mr. Strouse? He's sure lucky…" She winks at me, and I get the feeling she knows I'm not really his sister, which is probably thanks to Ellie. But I don't give anything away.
"I'm the lucky one." Despite the danger and fear I've lived in the past few months, I'm lucky to have found him. I'm just not sure how we'll ever have a future. It's up to me to rethink my whole life and conform to him, and I'm not ready to give up my dreams.
I tuck the package under my arm and head back into the crowded square, pulling my hood back up.
The street is busier now as folks get off work and filter into the narrow walkways between booths.
I blend into the foot traffic, and my guard is down now.
I've finally been able to shake off the tension and start enjoying the feeling of Christmas spirit swelling up in my chest.
I see earrings Erin would love and some hiking boots that would be perfect for my frigid toes.
I realize I'm thinking about equipping myself for mountain life and the thought makes me smile.
Maybe I could fit in here if not for my job as a trauma nurse and how much I enjoy helping people.
Then I see Ellie across the square and wave at her as she passes out hot cocoa in front of the diner.
As I turn a corner, hoping to peruse the last few booths, a hand grips my arm, spinning me around.
My heart slams into my ribs as I brace myself, thinking I'll see Dane's angry eyes and hear a lecture about taking risks. Instead, I'm staring up into the burly face of a man six inches taller than Dane and twice as wide. His grip on my arm hurts and he's glaring at me.
"Where is he?"
"I don't know what you're—"
"Barrett. Where is he?" His grip tightens and I wince. "Tell me and this goes easier for you."
"I don't know," I whimper as my eyes flick around and I see where I'm actually standing. Booths on every side mean no one can see me. I start to whimper, but he clamps a hand over my face and curses, yanking me toward the alley beside the shop.
I dig my heels in, screaming into his palm, and people are turning now, watching, a few starting to move toward us.
But the man is strong, dragging me despite my resistance.
I fight like hell, flailing about and kicking him, and when I remember the knife dangling from my wrist in the thin plastic bag, my mind clears.
I stop fighting him long enough to grip the outside of the bag hard and the handle harder. The plastic tears as I unsheathe the knife and rear back, preparing to defend myself.
"You little bitch," he growls, now grabbing the back of my neck, and I slam the knife down hard, driving it into his thigh. It takes a surprising amount of pressure to stab him, but it works. "Fuck!"
His scream is so loud, there's no way anyone misses it. He releases my neck and I scramble away, knife still clenched in my grip hard as I fall into the snow and crab-walk backward.
"Get back here," he growls at me, stalking forward, but he's limping, and blood is running down his leg, trailing across the slushy powder otherwise darkened by car tires.
"Problem here?" I hear, and I turn to see a man I don’t recognize stalking forward. He's big too, full head of black hair and narrowed eyes, and I see a gun holstered on his belt at his back.
"Help," I squeak as I scramble to my feet, and the man stands between me and my attacker. Out of the corner of my eye, I see more movement—more men closing in.
"That little cunt stabbed me!" the man rasps, but I'm on my feet, already turning, when I see Dane's eyes in the crowd and a look of disapproval. Then I run.
The alley spits me out on a residential street two blocks from Ellie's house where I force myself to slow to a walk. I'm sweating and heaving for breath. I throw the hood back to cool myself as I realize I'm still holding the damn bloody knife.
I'm a fool—I'm such a fool, and goddammit if those men didn't step in just in time.
And Dane.
My God, he'll be so pissed when he gets here. God only knows what he's going to have to tell Varen to get me out of this.
Ellie's back door is unlocked. I slip inside, lock it behind me, and sink against the wall, shaking so hard my teeth chatter. The knife clatters to the ground and I finally feel safe enough to start crying.
My entire body shakes with sobs as I cover my face and realize I have blood on my hands too.
How does Dane do it? I just stabbed a man in his leg, and Dane spent years of his life taking the lives of other people. I can't… I'm so overwhelmed, I almost want to vomit.
Minutes crawl past as I soak the front of Ellie's coat in my tears and feel the panic worsen before it begins to slowly lift.
The back door opens and I nearly scream before recognizing Dane, breathing hard.
His jacket is torn and it looks like he got a few blows in, some to his face too.
There's a cut above his eye bleeding lightly, but he's safe, and he doesn't look angry as he crouches next to me.
I throw myself at him and he catches me, arms wrapping tight. "You're okay. Thank God, you're okay." His voice is a rumble that soothes me instantly, though not as much as the feel of his strong arms around me.
"I cut my hair and dyed it and I didn't think…" My words tumble out of my mouth in a nonsensical jumble. "Changed it so they wouldn't recognize me. But they still found me. That man, he grabbed me, and I—"
"I know. I saw." Dane pulls back and grips my face in both hands. "Are you hurt?"
"No… Scared, but not hurt." I touch the cut on his forehead. "You're bleeding."
Dane pushes my hand away and helps me stand on unsteady legs. "It's nothing. Took a blow from his ring." He scowls and kisses my forehead and after a deep sigh, he asks, "What the fuck were you thinking?"
All I can do is lean into him and let him hold me against his chest. "I wanted to see where they were and what they were doing… And I wanted to get you a Christmas gift." The knife, now forgotten on the floor, seems less appealing now that it’s covered in blood. "It was stupid."
"It was brave, and reckless, and very much you." I hear him chuckle and his arms tighten. "What did you get me?"
"A knife. Good one, with a survival kit in the handle. I thought you'd like it." My head dips and I let my shoulder sag. "And it's already broken in…"
"Ah." He grunts. "So you're the reason that bastard was practically bleeding out."
I spy the knife on the floor at our feet and smile as I look up at him. "He touched me… And I don't like people touching me unless I invite it."
Dane smirks at me and says, "Remind me of that next time I want to touch you and you're in a bad mood."
The relief of being out of that situation and in his arms is too much. I swipe at my eyes and then rise up and press my lips to his. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "I didn't think anything would happen."
"It's okay, Sloane. You're not a prisoner. I asked you to stay here because I knew it would be safe, and maybe now, you'll trust me when I say it's safer to stay here."
I nod at him and step back, pulling the coat off, then nod at the floor. "Might want to remove that before Ellie comes home and sees it." Dane's eyes track down to the knife and he stoops to pick it up, then turns it over in his hands.
"Hey, this is a pretty cool knife…" He looks at me and grins. "But I prefer to break them in myself."
Dropping the coat onto the back of a chair, I turn my back on him as I grab a paper towel to wipe my face up.
After all of that, I'm starting to realize that my life will never be the same again.
Even long after this event has passed and Cal Maddox is out of our lives, I'm still going to reach for Dane in my heart and in my thoughts every time I feel scared or down.
It's like my body is training itself to need him.
And each time it happens, I'm starting to hate that thought less and less.