Twelve Seconds to Forever
Rebecca Jenshak
CHAPTER ONE LAINEY
Jess takes both of my hands in hers with an intense look of a panicked bride on the eve of her wedding. “I have a favor.”
“Whatever it is, yes.” I smile at my best friend. For nearly twenty years I’ve been doing her favors, and asking for my own in return, but this week in particular I’d do anything for her.
“Can you check on Alex?” she pleads. The twinkle lights strung around the old barn–turned–event space dance in her eyes.
“Your brother?” I ask, doing my best to ignore the prickle of irritation every time I think of my best friend’s older brother. “Why? I thought he was flying in late tonight.”
That’s the story she’s been telling everyone.
Alex, her extremely busy, superstar football player, is flying in late tonight after playing a game across the country yesterday, just in time for his little sister’s wedding.
He’s a groomsman, so there was a noticeable gap at the rehearsal tonight, but Jess reassured everyone he’d be here tomorrow.
I think people were more disappointed they didn’t get to see and talk to him than they were about him missing the actual rehearsal.
He’s a big deal. The hometown hero. Star high school running back–turned–professional football player.
Jess bites the corner of her lip—an unmistakable sign that she’s not telling me something.
“Jessica Renee?” I prompt in my best imitation of her mother.
She lowers her voice. “I lied. I have no idea where he is.” She looks around nervously. “He flew in this morning. He said he might go snowboarding this afternoon but then be here for the rehearsal.”
“Seriously?” I let out a huff. He blew off his sister’s rehearsal to go snowboarding? I pull out my cell phone, prepared to call the man I haven’t spoken to in nearly three years.
“It’s no use. His phone is off,” she says before I can pull up his contact. “I’ve been trying for the past hour.”
“Are you sure he’s here? Maybe his flight was delayed because of the storms on the East Coast.”
“Maybe.” Her tone tells me she doesn’t think that’s the case.
I grind my back molars.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, shaking her head. “But it isn’t like him to flake. Not today. Something is wrong.”
I don’t know what he’s like—not anymore. But he better have a damn good reason to not be checking in. I take a deep, cleansing breath.
The whole wedding was planned around Alex, or rather, his team schedule.
He couldn’t make it for Christmas last week, but a New Year’s Eve wedding fit perfectly between games.
Jess and her brother have always been close, and I know how much it means to her to have him here.
So like it or not, I will do whatever I can to make sure he doesn’t ruin this for her.
“Okay. What can I do? Do you want me to see if I can find out his flight information and see if he landed?” I have no idea if I can pull that off, but I’m not about to tell the bride-to-be no, no matter how difficult the task.
“Jessica!” her mother calls from across the room, where friends and family are waiting to go to the rehearsal dinner.
My best friend flashes her mother a smile while holding up a finger to indicate she’ll be there in a moment.
“Just find him,” she says. “Please? He’s staying at my grandparents’ cabin.”
I nod, swallowing the lump forming in my throat.
“I know you two aren’t on the best terms, but there’s no one else I can ask. My parents would freak if they knew he was MIA, and you’re the smartest, most determined person I know.”
“You don’t have to butter me up.” I let out a small laugh. “I already said I’d do it.”
“I mean it, though. You’re the best. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Yeah. Same.” The smile that pulls at my lips is filled with a bittersweet sort of happiness. “I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow.”
Things will be different. She’s entering a whole new era. She’s going to be someone’s wife, and I haven’t been someone’s girlfriend in so long I’ve forgotten how long it’s been.
“Me either.” Her grip on my hands tightens. “Promise we’ll always be best friends?”
My heart squeezes in my chest. “I promise.”
“Okay. I better go. My mom will have a meltdown if we don’t get to the restaurant soon.” She rolls her eyes. “You’ll meet us there as soon as you find Alex?”
“Yep. Save me a margarita.” I’m going to need it.
“You got it.” She backs away a step. “Try not to kill him.”
“I will find him and deliver him unscathed.”
She lunges forward, hugging me around the neck. “Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” I tell her. “Now go enjoy your rehearsal dinner.”
She pulls away and hurries toward the door. She looks back and waves one last time before she steps outside with her fiancé and their families.
I grab my coat and purse and follow them out, then get into my SUV and crank up the heat.
While I wait for my vehicle to warm up, I send a text to Alex—something I thought I’d never do again.
I stare at the screen for a beat to see if he’ll respond.
After two full minutes have passed, I close out of the message and then pull up his social media page.
It’s a sucker punch to see his last post. It’s from the very last time I saw him.
It was the holiday break, just like now, and we were both home from college. It feels like a lifetime ago.
“In the past three years he couldn’t have posted anything else?
” I ask absolutely no one as a prick of something needles my skin.
I can’t even begin to wonder why. There’s plenty of content out there of him posted by other people.
Alex getting drafted to the NFL, Alex at practices with the team, Alex at games and in media photos, not to mention plenty of fan edits.
Alex is well loved by both the football fans and women, who have no idea what he does but think he looks great in tight pants and a jersey that shows off his biceps.
Ignoring the pang in my chest, I open my search browser and navigate to the local airport website. I scan all the arrivals from Denver. A few early morning flights were delayed, but everything else looks like it was on schedule, and the planes have arrived. Which means he should be here.
Despite our issues, I can’t believe he’d just flake, at least not on something this big.
And not on Jess. I know they’re still close.
She doesn’t mention him much to me lately except in passing, but they’ve always been the kind of siblings that made me wish for my own brother or sister.
Even when they were yelling or fighting and pretending to hate each other, it was obvious how much they cared deep down.
I stare out the windshield, debating my next move.
Light snow drops onto the glass and melts.
I put my SUV in gear and decide to look for him.
Jess said he was staying at the cabin, but I drive through town first. I don’t really expect to spot him.
I don’t even know what he’s driving, and there aren’t a lot of people walking around, but I check anyway.
Gas stations, hotels, the grocery mart, the local bar.
There’s no sign of Alex and no one has seen him.
It leaves only one last place to look, and I really, really don’t want to check there.
My phone pings with a text from Jess. Any luck?
Not yet, but I’ll find him, I type back.
The drive out to the ski lodge is beautiful. The mountains are covered in fresh snow, and the entire property is lit up with lights for the holidays. As I navigate my SUV up and around the winding road, I feel a pang of melancholy. How long has it been since I was here?
I know the answer before I’ve even finished the question.
More than three years.
Once I reach the lodge, I make a right down a private road.
It’s been a long time, but I could never forget this place.
Jess and Alex’s family ski cabin was a constant in my childhood.
Jess and I would hang out here when everyone else was skiing, and we preferred to read or play board games, and then in high school Alex and his football buddies threw parties here all the time.
It’s only once I’ve driven more than two miles and still don’t see the cabin that I start to second-guess myself.
The snow is a little thicker up here, and the gravel road quickly becomes hard to see.
I breathe a sigh of relief when I turn a corner and see it.
That relief is short-lived, though, because the lights are on and there’s a shiny black sports car in the driveway.
I don’t allow myself time to think as I park and get out of my SUV.
It takes some effort to walk across the gravel in my heels.
The snow makes it hard to see any sort of path, and the only light is from inside the house.
I focus on staying upright and doing my best not to ruin my favorite shoes.
But once I’m standing in front of the door, I panic.
If he’s in there, it’ll be the first time I’ve seen him in years. What will I say? What will he do?
I shake off the runaway thoughts. If he’s here, then I’m simply going to tell him to stop being a jerk and get to his sister’s rehearsal dinner.
And perhaps remind him that there’s this amazing technology that allows you to alert people when you’re unable to attend an event when you previously said you would.
Alex, meet the telephone. Telephone, Alex. Charmed, I’m sure.
I steel myself and then knock on the front door. I’m poised, ready for action. Thirty seconds or less, and then I’m out of here and we can both go on pretending that the other doesn’t exist.
The cold air stings my cheeks and whips around my bare legs. I start counting to myself. One, two, three, four.
Ten seconds pass and there’s no answer. Some of my nerve wobbles. I knock again, louder this time. Someone calls out from inside, but I can’t make out the words. Only the tone. Deep, clipped, undoubtedly Alex.