Chapter 34 - Not Falling Behind
Celeste was not falling behind.
Apparently.
I learned this on Friday.
She had asked—
free friday?
I said yes.
Simple.
Dinner.
Normal.
Third proper date this life.
Not counting college.
Not counting the strange historical category of—
we liked each other but then Mara happened and everyone behaved responsibly.
Current timeline.
Current Celeste.
Date Three.
Good.
She chose the restaurant.
Again.
I arrived first this time.
Two minutes.
Progress.
Then Celeste walked in.
I stared.
Fuck.
There should be limits.
Very pretty.
Very polished.
Excellent nose.
Very nice legs.
Again.
Consistency was becoming a problem.
She reached the table.
"Hi."
"Hi."
Then she looked at me.
"You stared."
"No."
"You did."
"Observation."
She smiled.
"Positive?"
I sighed.
"Yes."
"Good."
Dangerous woman.
Dinner was easy.
Again.
That was still Celeste's advantage.
We already knew how the other person thought.
Not completely.
People changed.
But enough.
She knew when I was being too literal.
I knew when she was pretending not to care about something she definitely cared about.
She knew I hated wasting time.
I knew she hated being left uncertain.
And now—
neither of us was particularly interested in repeating college.
Halfway through dinner, she asked—
"How many dates have you had this week?"
I looked up.
"That sounds invasive."
"I'm curious."
"Three."
Her eyebrows rose.
"Including me?"
"Yes."
"Celine?"
"Yes."
"Audrey?"
"Yes."
She nodded.
No drama.
Then—
"Busy."
I laughed.
"Apparently."
"Enjoying?"
"Yes."
"Good."
Then she took a drink.
"And me?"
I stared.
"What about you?"
"Are you enjoying dating me?"
Direct.
Very Celeste.
"Yes."
"How much?"
"We already discussed the lack of calibrated romantic scale."
She laughed.
"Fine."
Then—
"Enough that you want another date?"
"Yes."
"Good."
Simple.
After dinner, we walked.
No destination.
Just around the mall.
Slow.
Stores mostly closing.
People thinning out.
We talked about work.
Her teaching.
My business.
Old college stories.
Then—
nothing for a while.
Comfortable.
That was dangerous too.
Our hands brushed once.
Accidental.
Probably.
Then again.
Less accidental.
I looked down.
Celeste looked at me.
No smile this time.
Just—
question.
I could have ignored it.
Instead, I turned my hand slightly.
Palm open.
Her fingers slid into mine.
There.
Holding hands.
Very simple.
Very—
not simple.
Fuck.
Celeste smiled then.
Small.
Satisfied.
"Verified?"
I looked at her.
"You're never letting that go."
"No."
"I regret creating terminology."
"I don't."
Of course.
She squeezed my hand once.
Not dramatic.
Not possessive.
Just there.
I liked it.
A lot.
More than expected.
That information was inconvenient.
We kept walking.
Holding hands.
Like people on a date.
Because—
apparently we were people on a date.
Groundbreaking.
At one point, Celeste stopped in front of a store window.
I stopped too.
She looked at our hands.
Then at me.
"You okay?"
"Yes."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
She smiled.
"Responsible communication."
"Don't mock the system."
"I like the system."
"Because you're exploiting it."
"Correct."
At least honest.
She didn't let go.
Neither did I.
By the time we reached the parking area, I had become increasingly aware of one unfortunate fact.
I did not want the date to end yet.
Interesting.
Dangerous.
Useful data.
Celeste leaned against her car.
Still holding my hand.
Then looked at me.
There was a pause.
Long enough that I knew something was coming.
"Lia."
"Hm?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Fuck.
There.
No ambiguity.
No—
maybe.
No—
unless.
Just—
Can I kiss you?
My entire Reset 2 policy suddenly seemed like an extremely bad idea.
Because clear intent was wonderful—
until someone said exactly what they wanted and I had to answer.
I looked at her.
Celeste waited.
Did not move closer.
Did not assume.
Good.
Very good.
My brain briefly attempted to produce a decision matrix.
Absolutely not.
I shut it down.
"Yes."
Her eyes changed slightly.
"Yeah?"
"Yes."
Then—
because apparently I was still me—
"Verified."
Celeste laughed.
"Bwisit."
Then she kissed me.
Brief.
Soft.
Very much intentional.
And because the universe enjoyed humiliating me—
my brain went completely blank.
No analysis.
No score.
No operational commentary.
Nothing.
Just Celeste.
When she pulled back, she was smiling.
I stared at her.
She waited.
Then—
"Well?"
I narrowed my eyes.
"Don't."
"What?"
"You're fishing."
"I asked a question."
"No, you're requesting performance feedback."
Celeste laughed.
"Positive?"
I sighed.
"Yes."
Her smile widened.
"Good."
Then she leaned in slightly.
Not enough to kiss me.
Just enough to be annoying.
"Can I do it again?"
Oh, fuck off.
I stared.
She waited.
Still.
Consent.
Every time.
Good.
"Yes."
So she did.
Still brief.
Still soft.
Slightly less tentative.
I liked that too.
Fuck.
When we finally separated, I looked away for a second.
Celeste laughed quietly.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You're smiling."
"No."
"You are."
"I hate you."
"No, you don't."
Dangerous statement.
I looked back at her.
"No. I don't."
That shut her up.
Tiny victory.
She squeezed my hand again.
Then—
"Next week?"
I laughed.
"Already?"
"Yes."
"You have no shame."
"I told you I like you."
Fair.
"Wednesday?"
"Dinner?"
"Yes."
"Date?"
I stared.
She smiled.
"I'm helping you."
"Thank you."
"Yes. Date."
"Good."
Then she opened her car.
Before getting in, she looked back.
"Still dating the others?"
"Yes."
She nodded.
"Okay."
"You?"
"Also open."
"Good."
Then—
"I reserve the right to be competitive."
I stared.
"Celeste."
"What?"
"This is not a competition."
"I know."
Pause.
Then—
"Still not falling behind."
I laughed.
There it was.
Wednesday came.
Another date.
Then the next week—
another.
Celeste was intense.
Not in a suffocating way.
Not messages every five minutes.
Not demanding exclusivity.
Just—
present.
Deliberate.
If she wanted to see me—
she asked.
If she wanted to hold my hand—
she reached.
If she wanted to flirt—
she meant it.
No more—
charot lang.
No—
unless?
Actually, there was still unless.
But now it had consequences.
One night:
celeste:
miss me?
I stared.
Old Lia would have replied with a joke.
Current Lia:
yes
Pause.
Then—
wow
what
nothing. didn't expect direct answer
I smiled.
don't ask questions you don't want answered
i wanted it
Then—
goodnight
I stared.
IT IS 7:40
She reacted with a laughing emoji.
Classic.
Celine remained active too.
Very active.
She and I had another dinner.
Another kiss.
Easy.
Fun.
Flirty.
She liked that I was dating other people because she was too.
No issue.
Audrey and I had coffee.
Then dinner.
Slower.
Different.
She was less physically forward.
More conversation.
More quiet observation.
I liked that too.
Different people.
Different chemistry.
This was the part I had skipped for thirty-three years.
Actually discovering what I wanted instead of asking whether someone was objectively good.
Unfortunately—
Celeste had history.
History was unfair.
She knew things.
One date, I was tired.
Not bad tired.
Long workday.
I arrived quieter than usual.
She looked at me once.
"Food first."
I stared.
"What?"
"You're tired."
"I'm fine."
"I didn't say you're dying."
"I know."
"Eat."
I laughed.
That was—
familiar.
She ordered something I liked without asking.
Still remembered.
College.
Years ago.
This timeline.
Actual shared history.
And suddenly I understood why comparing dates was going to be impossible.
People were not products.
Chemistry wasn't feature count.
History mattered.
Newness mattered too.
Different things mattered differently.
Annoying.
On Sunday, Jane caught me smiling at my phone again.
She stared.
"Who?"
"No."
"Celeste?"
I looked at her.
Too fast.
Fuck.
Jane's eyes widened.
"Oh."
Chloe looked up.
"What?"
Jane pointed at me.
"Celeste."
Chloe looked at my face.
Then smiled.
"Interesting."
I hated that word.
Jane leaned forward.
"You like her."
"I've literally told you I'm dating her."
"No. Different."
I frowned.
"What different?"
She smiled.
"That face."
"What face?"
Chloe:
"The one you're making."
I put my phone down.
"Both of you are deeply irritating."
Jane ignored me.
"How many dates now?"
"With Celeste?"
"Yes."
I counted mentally.
Mistake.
Jane saw.
"YOU NEED TO COUNT?"
"Shut up."
"How many?"
"Six."
Silence.
Then—
"Six?"
"Yes."
Chloe:
"She's leading."
I pointed.
"There is no leaderboard."
Jane:
"Did you kiss?"
I stared.
Fuck.
Jane's mouth fell open.
"YOU DID."
"Lower your voice."
Chloe started laughing.
"With Celeste?"
"Yes."
Jane put one hand on her chest.
"Wow."
"Stop saying wow."
"How many times?"
"JANE."
Chloe:
"Relevant metric."
"No."
Jane looked genuinely delighted now.
"Did she ask?"
I paused.
"Yes."
That softened her teasing for half a second.
"Good."
"Yeah."
Then—
"She asked?"
"Yes."
"Like—can I kiss you?"
"Yes."
Jane smiled.
"Cute."
I stared.
"Do not make it weird."
"I'm not."
Chloe looked at me.
"Did you respond responsibly?"
I closed my eyes.
There it was.
"I hate both of you."
Then Jane asked—
"So Celeste is winning?"
"No one is winning."
"Celine?"
"Still dating."
"Audrey?"
"Still dating."
Chloe nodded.
"Diversified."
"No."
Jane laughed.
"Okay. No leaderboard."
"Thank you."
Pause.
Then—
"Celeste first place."
"JANE."
My phone buzzed.
Of course.
Celeste.
friday?
I stared.
Jane saw.
"Is that her?"
"No."
My face betrayed me.
Chloe:
"First place."
I stood.
"I am leaving."
This time—
I actually left.
Mostly because I had a date to schedule.
God help me.