Chapter 92 - Twenty-Three, Again #2
Unaware I had watched her exchange vows and finally understood that love was not a ranking system.
Unaware she had once borrowed one hundred fifty thousand pesos from me at half a percent monthly and repaid it early.
My brain was a terrible place.
Jane looked up.
Saw me.
Smiled.
"Lia!"
That smile.
Same.
Not same.
Fuck.
I walked over.
"Hi."
Chloe frowned.
"You okay?"
"Yes."
Jane looked at me.
And for one stupid second, my eyes did what they always did.
Pretty.
Polished.
Excellent nose.
Very nice legs.
Apparently death did not cure taste.
Rude.
Jane tilted her head.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You stared."
"I have eyes."
"That's not a defense."
Chloe laughed.
I sat.
Good.
Normal.
Do normal.
Jane started talking.
Work.
People.
Something about family.
I listened.
Actually listened.
And kept catching myself waiting for details that belonged to another Jane.
Was she teaching in the same place?
Did she already know Miguel?
Had she met him earlier this time?
Was she going to choose him again?
None of those questions mattered.
Not yet.
Maybe never.
Current Jane was not a puzzle whose answer key I carried.
She was just—
Jane.
Friend since Grade 7.
College PPT dealer.
Person who complained about her college environment for four years.
Current adult with information I did not have.
That was enough.
At one point she clicked a pen.
Click.
Click.
Click.
I looked at her hand.
Jane noticed.
"What?"
I smiled.
"You still do that."
"Do what?"
"Click pens."
She looked at it.
Then clicked again.
"Since when?"
"High school."
She frowned.
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Why do you remember that?"
Because I had remembered it through multiple lives.
Because another version of you did it while sitting in my office after we almost became something.
Because I remembered everything.
Instead—
"You're annoying. Memorable."
Jane laughed.
"Fuck you."
There.
Shared.
Current.
Safe.
Then she asked about the business.
"Still printing?"
"Yes."
"Growing?"
"Maybe."
Chloe looked at me.
"Maybe?"
I shrugged.
"I'm fixing some things."
Jane smiled.
"You always say that."
That hit.
She didn't mean the same way I heard it.
Still—
I looked away.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"Again with nothing."
Apparently eternal too.
The three of us stayed almost two hours.
No Miguel.
No dating discussion.
No emotional catastrophe.
Just friendship.
At one point Jane complained about something at work.
I almost laughed because—
of course.
Different job.
New complaint.
Same capacity for complaint.
I let her finish.
Asked questions.
Did not assume.
She seemed surprised once when I asked instead of giving an opinion.
Good.
Current information.
Practice.
When we left, Chloe had to go another direction.
Jane and I walked part of the way together.
That was dangerous only because my memory made ordinary things heavy.
Jane walked beside me.
No hand-holding.
No dates.
No kiss.
No wedding.
Just two friends.
She looked at me.
"You've been weird today."
I sighed.
"Everybody keeps saying that."
"Because you are."
"Maybe I'm tired."
"Business?"
"Life."
She smiled.
"Chloe said the same thing."
"Traitor."
Then she bumped my shoulder lightly.
Friendly.
Casual.
My chest reacted anyway.
Not romance.
Memory.
There was a difference.
I knew that now.
At the corner, Jane stopped.
"This way ako."
"Okay."
"See you?"
I looked at her.
Bride.
Date Seven.
Coffee.
High school.
College.
All layered over one face that currently knew none of it.
Then I let the layers settle.
Current Jane.
Twenty-three.
Friend.
"Yeah."
She smiled.
"Good."
Then left.
I watched her for maybe three seconds.
Then turned away.
No chasing.
No checking whether Miguel was somewhere in her future.
No trying to protect her from choices she hadn't made.
No trying to recreate the wedding because she had once been happy.
That happiness belonged to another Jane.
This one got to choose her own.
Even if she chose me.
Even if she didn't.
Even if Miguel never appeared.
Even if somebody completely different did.
Her history with me ended where her memory ended.
Mine did not give me authority over the rest.
That night, I opened the old business files.
Pricing.
Orders.
Costs.
Tiny operation.
Start again.
Not the same way.
I could fix plenty.
I could build plenty.
But this time, I would pay attention to what actually existed in front of me.
People included.
Especially people.
I opened a blank document.
Typed:
RESET 4
Then beneath it—
Current Jane is not the bride.
I stopped.
Read it.
Then added—
Current Chloe is not my breakup emergency contact yet.
That made me laugh.
Then—
Current staff do not exist yet. Do not manufacture them.
And finally—
Build systems. Meet people. Let them become themselves.
I saved the file.
Then heard the printer make a terrible noise from the other room.
I closed my eyes.
"Except you. I will replace you."
That relationship had enough current information.
I already hated it.