Chapter Four
When Salem had shown up at Tarek’s door before his scheduled lunch date with Shaw, he hadn’t known what he sought exactly.
After two glasses of wine, his shoulders relaxed, but his tongue refused.
Salem never knew how to talk about the things that mattered to him.
He could be there for anyone and everyone else, but he had no idea how to be weak enough to be vulnerable .
“So… date number two with Shaw. That must be a record for you since JD passed. Sounds like you might actually like someone.”
Salem nodded. He started to say Shaw was stimulating. That wasn’t what happened. “Actually, I kind of ended up getting spit-roasted by Quest and Dodge last night. Then I had sex with Dodge in the shower this morning.” The confession burst from him, so deadpan and lifeless, that Tarek laughed.
A second passed and Tarek’s laughter died. “Wait. You’re serious.”
“Unfortunately. ”
Tarek’s brow furrowed. “Why unfortunately? They’re both gorgeous, and the three of you have an amazing relationship.”
Salem tried to soften his tone so he didn’t sound like a lifeless robot. He couldn’t. “They’re JD’s sons.”
“Stepsons,” Tarek reminded him with a huff. “Former stepsons, at that. By two different wives. Both of which he was no longer married to by his death, obviously. All of that you know better than anyone, so be for real. Why are you upset?”
Fuck. Tarek knew he was upset. Salem had to fix that. He forced his shoulders to relax. “The three of us live together. They’re my people. Introducing sex can only destroy what we’ve built. But I can’t un-ring that bell, so I don’t know.”
Tarek blinked. “Did you actually come to me for advice? There’s no way Salem Rochester doesn’t know how to take control of a situation.”
Salem relaxed for real. Tarek was right. He would never give up enough control to anyone for this situation to be anything but handled. “You’re right. Thank you.”
Tarek blinked again and then again, obviously confused as hell. “I mean, okay. You’re welcome, I guess. ”
Salem’s gaze moved over Tarek’s stylishly mussed dark hair and darkly lined eyes.
He truly was a beauty. It had been easy to position Tarek into a comfortable life with an older man who worshiped the ground he walked on.
He was Salem’s friend. Salem loved him. Tarek knew him almost as well as Quest and Dodge.
If Tarek thought he could iron will his way out of this situation, then Salem could.
This was why he had come here. His subconscious had known what to do and where to go.
Salem breathed easier. “Tell me about your life.”
Another loud laugh burst from Tarek. “Um. Okay. If you absolutely refuse to give me every juicy detail about last night, then I guess I don’t have a choice. Portland is making noises about early retirement and us enjoying a quiet life.”
“How do you feel about that?” Salem had to focus on someone else.
“Whatever makes him happy makes me happy. Seriously, Salem. You can talk to me about things.”
Salem nodded. “All right. I’ve already accepted a third date with Shaw.”
Tarek huffed. “I know. He called me after your coffee date the other day. How do Dodge and Quest feel about last night? Do they think this is something casual everyone can forget happened?”
“It’s a society dinner.”
That seemed to distract Tarek from Salem’s bad decisions. “Wait. Really? You’re stepping foot back into society? Shaw didn’t tell me that.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t realize how against the community of arrogant bastards I am, but yes. It seems I’m stepping back into the vipers’ nest. Better that firing squad than the one at home.”
“Wow.” Tarek sat back, sinking into his expensive and comfy couch. He took a sip of wine while staring into space. “Wow,” he repeated after a moment. “That’s…”
Yeah. Salem knew. It would be vicious. He would be miserable. It was a mistake. They would do their damnedest to eat him alive. Apparently, Salem had been feeling destructive lately.
Portland strolled into the room, looking as deadly as ever. Of course, he softened the minute he kissed Tarek. Salem openly watched, wishing he knew how to bend the way Portland did. Blue eyes finally swung his way. “Salem. It’s nice to see you.”
Salem dipped his chin. “You as well. Sorry for dropping by without calling. I didn’t realize you planned to come home early. I’d never interrupt a newlywed couple’s time.”
Portland snorted and dropped into the spot next to Tarek on the couch.
He tucked Tarek against his side. “You’re allowed to drop by whenever you want.
I’ve just been having a harder time staying away lately.
My schedule keeps getting shorter. Today, I kept things to one morning meeting. In fact, I’m thinking of retiring.”
“That’s what Tarek was just telling me.” Salem checked his watch. He felt a little too exposed today. “I guess I should head out if I intend to get to Shaw’s office on time.”
Portland smiled. “Date number two. Shaw must be doing something right.”
It took everything Salem possessed not to look Tarek’s way. “He hasn’t bored me, but the day is young.”
A bark of laughter burst from Portland. “Try not to wreck him too badly.”
Salem genuinely liked Portland. Despite being a drug lord, he had that steel inside him that always appealed to Salem. “I feel certain he’ll survive it. His head is pretty big.”
“A match made in heaven,” Portland said with a chuckle .
Salem stood. “Or hell. We’ll see which soon enough, I’m sure.” He saw the way Tarek fought not to talk about Quest and Dodge. Salem had to get out of there.
Salem stood.
Tarek bounded to his feet. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
Fuck. “That’s not necessary.”
Tarek linked arms with him. “Sure it is. I have to get my hugs.” He practically dragged Salem to the door.
Tarek barely made it out of earshot. “Please think about giving the boys a real shot. They love you. You love them. I’d hate for you three to miss something beautiful.
Just give it some thought,” Tarek said before Salem could argue.
Instead of bothering to admit that was all he ever thought about, Salem kissed Tarek’s cheek and hugged him.
“I love you. Go enjoy your husband. Being cherished is rarer than you think.” He barely heard Tarek returning his “I love you” before he was out the door.
Behind the wheel of his Audi, Salem took a few steadying breaths before pulling away.
There was no avoiding an early arrival to Shaw’s office unless he found something else to do.
Salem didn’t need to be alone with his thoughts. His mind could be a dangerous place .
Still, when Salem arrived at Howe’s Law Offices, he sat for a minute before climbing from the car.
The last thing he wanted was to seem too eager.
He had a bad feeling everyone would get hurt before the end.
Salem wished he hadn’t let his guard down.
He owned toys. It wasn’t like he couldn’t take care of his own needs.
Why in the fuck had he even let himself start thinking about being touched again?
Nothing good ever came from him wanting things.
Salem hardened himself. This was lunch. He would keep their plans because he didn’t flake on people.
Salem would also keep his plans to join Shaw at a society banquet.
No one wanted to go to those things alone.
Beyond that, he would pull back. He wouldn’t give Shaw any ideas.
Salem hadn’t quite decided how he would rebuild the wall between the boys and him, but he would.
Some people weren’t meant to have what Tarek had with Portland.
People like Salem were better off if no one saw what was beneath the shell.
With shoulders squared, Salem headed for the door.
He strolled inside like he belonged—the way he did everywhere he went.
Salem was not the poor Louisiana boy with the tattered clothes and dirty hair.
He had crawled his way from that version of himself and now was one of the richest men in America.
It mattered not at all what anyone thought of him now. He could buy the haters.
“For fuck’s sake, Joesph. I gave you one job today and you couldn’t even do that.”
“And seventy-five yesterday. Fifty the day before that. How do you think shit gets done while you’re out having lunch dates and chatting with your little buddies? It’s me. I’m here pulling your fucking weight.”
Salem froze in the doorway. He had no desire to step into the middle of Shaw’s very loud argument with the mouthy employee.
To Salem’s surprise, the pissed-off guy going toe to toe with Shaw rolled from behind the desk and wheeled his chair across the room.
He disappeared into an office and came back out with a small box of stuff on his lap.
“All your shit was already in a box?”
“Goddamn right. No one should have to put up with the shit I do from you. Go play with your friend.” He motioned toward the door. “Let him think you’re important with all your bought and paid for judges, while I’m the one who actually does your fucking job.”
Salem jumped out of the man’s way as he awkwardly shoved his way through the door, banging his wheelchair on everything as he went.
“Would you like—” The question died on Salem’s lips as rage-filled light blue eyes swung his way. Salem held his hands up and backed away, minding his business.
“Joesph.” Shaw sounded so defeated.
“Go fuck yourself, Shaw.”
Shaw pinched the spot between his eyes.
Salem waited until they were alone to speak. “It looks like you could use a rain check on that lunch.”
A woman at a corner desk tried to pretend she didn’t exist.
Shaw dropped his hand and released a loud sigh. “No. It’s fine.” He focused on what Salem assumed was his receptionist. “Please forward any emergencies.”
“Yes, sir.”