41. London #2
Murray clasped my hand in his free one as he rolled my luggage at his other side. We followed Ramsay, Nee, Quinn, and Taran to meet up with Forde and Cammie outside at the ferry terminal. Forde didn’t look as pissed, but tension still crackled between him and Cammie.
“Where does it hurt?” Murray asked me quietly.
I winced, leaning into his side. “Neck, ribs, the top of my right thigh hurts, and my left calf. My right ankle hurts a little as well. Miraculously, not my head.”
“Thank God.” He pressed another kiss to my temple.
I inhaled his familiar scent and fought the urge to bury my face in his throat and stay there.
His calloused thumb made slow, soothing sweeps across the back of my hand as his gaze washed over me.
The urge to tell him I loved him was incredibly powerful, but I didn’t want to do it in front of everyone.
It wasn’t until we were on the ferry that I asked Murray to walk with me outside. He was concerned I wasn’t resting, but I couldn’t wait even the hour it took to get to Leth Sholas.
“I spoke with Ramsay,” Murray said as we settled against the railing. The ferry was quiet because of the time of evening, only two people sitting on the outdoor seats. “He’s going to investigate this. He’s just waiting on confirmation that Nick is still under house arrest.”
“What would we do without our local spymaster?” I teased, trying to defuse the tension.
Murray turned into me, not showing any signs of amusement. “It scares me how close I came to losing you this weekend. Especially after … London, I am so sorry about my conversation with Tierney. I need you to know—”
I grabbed onto his shirt, cutting him off. “I know. I know it wasn’t your intention to control me. I’m sorry I ever compared you to Nick. Murray, I’m so sorry.”
He shook his head, gaze searching mine in wonder. “I was … you surprise me at every turn, you know that.”
I licked my dry lips, my heart racing at the way his eyes followed the movement. “I’m still a work in progress. There might be times my fears speak before I can think rationally. But I promise I’m trying.”
“London, I know that. I had time to think while you were away, and considering everything you’ve been through, I just feel lucky that you even gave us a chance.”
I rested my palms on his chest, feeling how hard his heart raced. In time with mine, in fact. “It’s not luck. You gave me space to trust you. And I do. I trust you more than any man I’ve ever been with. You make me feel safe. And somehow you manage to do that and still excite the hell out of me.”
A pleased smile curled the corners of his mouth. “Aye?”
“Aye.” I grinned, pressing my entire body to his, ignoring the flare of pain up my right side. My smile slowly wilted but only because my feelings were so overwhelming. “I love you, Murray. I’ve fallen in love with you.”
His eyes flared as I watched his entire expression light up. “I … Christ, woman, don’t you know I’ve been in love with you for ages?”
The guttural confession caused a flare of red-hot heat to flush over me, and I reached for his mouth.
Our kiss was deep, exploring, filled with everything we felt and more, but eventually the ache in my ribs had me dropping back to my heels with a grimace.
“I want to make love to you so much, but even if I was up to it tonight, I have my period.”
Murray grinned, joy radiating from him as he cupped my face in his hands. “A ghràidh, we have a lifetime to make love. Tonight I just want to hold you in my arms.”
“I love you,” the words burst forth again, desperate, and true.
His thumb swept my cheek as his eyes roamed over my hair and face and back to meet mine.
“I remember the first time I saw you. You were outside Pages & Perks with Tierney and I was on the docks, unloading a catch. You didn’t see me because you were too busy staring out at the water as Tierney nattered away in your ear.
I felt like I’d gotten hit by a thunderbolt when I saw you.
You were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen in my life. ”
Tears filled my eyes because I hadn’t known any of that.
“And then we met in the Lantern and you were even more bonny up close. More than that, I just … I felt this thing between us I didn’t understand. Like I’d known you before somewhere. Like … you might be the person who knew me best. Made me whole.”
My tears slipped free because I’d felt the same way. A connection I couldn’t explain.
“But there was a sadness in your eyes and a guardedness … and my life was complicated too. And I thought to myself, I can’t believe I’ve met my fucking soul mate,” his words were gruff with emotion, “and I can’t be with her.”
“Murray …” I bussed into his hand as he tried to catch my tears. “I felt the same way. From the very start.”
With a shaky exhale, he leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, “Thank goodness fate stepped in, eh?”
I laughed softly. “No, it wasn’t fate. I just pulled my head out of my ass, and you couldn’t resist my proposition.”
At that, Murray threw his head back in laughter, even as he cuddled me close. I wrapped my arms around his back and felt his joy vibrate through me, wiping away all the terror of this morning and replacing it with this new, beautiful memory.