Chapter 9
In the blink of an eye, a week has passed, my brothers have returned to Portugal, and today, I start my studies at Central Saint Martins University of the Arts in London.
I get out of bed and feel my stomach turn with nervousness, which is to be expected after a bad night’s sleep.
I go into the bathroom, take a hot shower, put on the outfit I bought for the start of classes, and do some simple make-up; still, in my bedroom slippers, I go into the kitchen to have breakfast. I find Leticia and Aurora at the table, both eating a yogurt with granola and drinking coffee.
Leticia points to the bowl next to her, and I smile at her in thanks, seeing it full of yogurt and granola.
Aurora acknowledges me. “How nervous are you?”
“I couldn’t sleep all night, and I feel like I might throw up!” I say, forcing the spoon to my mouth.
“You don’t have to be so nervous; it’s going to be fine!” reassures Leticia.
“I’m afraid I won’t fit in, that they won’t like me!” I pour it out honestly, making them both stare at me.
Aurora looks at me with a fierce expression. “If they don’t like you, fuck them, you’ve got us! Besides, if anyone’s too nasty, I’m sure Paolo and Francesco will make them regret it!”
Her words make me widen my eyes and let out a groan of frustration. I didn’t remember that little detail; Luca must have given orders in case someone is unpleasant with me.
“That’s even worse!” I sigh in annoyance, seeing Aurora look at me with a playful smile on her lips.
“If you ask me, that makes everything more fun!” she says, making me nod my head in clear disapproval, and I see her shrug her shoulders.
“By the way, a box arrived for you a little while ago. I think it’s from your grandmother. Paolo has already checked to make sure it’s not a bomb,” she says, rolling her eyes.
I get up and walk to the box; it has a black parcel with a big white bow on it. I open it and see Jimmy Choo engraved on the box, a small envelope lies on top of it.
“They say good shoes take their owners to good places; these are pretty, too, so I hope they take you to lots of pretty places. Good luck on your first day of school; I know you’ll be fantastic.
Love, Grannie”
I look at the message with a big smile that takes my whole face.
Grandma always knows how to calm me down.
I take the paper that protects the shoes off and see beautiful black shoes, the ones that tight around ankle, with a big bow at the back of the heel.
I sit down on the sofa and put them on, smiling and taking a photo to send to Grandma.
“Thank you, Grannie, they’re beautiful.
Big kiss, Chiara.”
I click send and head to my room, picking up my Hermès Kelly and placing my iPad, notepad, pens, wallet, and AirPods inside. I walk over to the mirror, check my outfit and, paint my lips with a vibrant red lipstick, and whisper to my reflection, “You can do it.”
I go to the living room to find the girls, also ready to leave, and the two body guards in casual clothes, making me smile at the look of disgust on their faces.
“All set?”
Leticia smiles and nods. “Yes, I can’t believe we’re college students!”
“I can’t believe we won’t be in a classroom together!” Aurora says in regret. I nod in agreement, and we say goodbye with a hug, leaving the house all together and parting at the door, each heading for their new adventure.
It’s strange to think that we’ve all followed different paths. When I was younger, I imagined that we’d all study together, and now we’re each at a different university, me studying fashion design, Leticia law, and Aurora administration.
I get out of the car, feeling a little insecure and quite nervous.
My legs are shaking, and my hands are sweating; I look around, a little lost, feeling two eyes on me.
I stand still, without having the courage to take a step, and I consider running away; I feel my stomach turn, and I think about how weak I am, a little bit of nerves and I’m already thinking about running away, what will be of me when the real problems show up?
My thoughts are interrupted by a forced cough next to me; I look in the direction of the sound and see Paolo and Francesco staring at me.
“Are you ready?” Francesco asks, indicating the path I should follow with an outstretched hand.
I nod, take a step forward, and freeze again, staring at them.
They both don’t seem to understand what’s happening.
“I’m nervous,” I admit quietly so that only they can hear me. Francesco grimaces, showing how lost he is by the situation.
“You don’t have to be. We’re here to protect you. Nothing will happen,” Paolo says with certainty in his voice. I look down at my hands, unable to face them.
“What if they don’t like me? What if I don’t do well?” I pour out all my insecurities on them, leaving them stunned, judging by how long it takes them to respond.
“If you want my honest opinion, I doubt you’ll do badly. I don’t know much about fashion, but I can tell you understand it. Besides, if they don’t like you or you don’t get along, you have us. Forget those annoying kids!”
I lift my gaze and see the calm smile Francesco offers me, making me feel a little more confident. Then I see that Paolo is behind him, talking on his phone, and I look at him confusedly, making him smile a little.
“Since you’re afraid you won’t fit in and you’ll be alone, Paolo decided to call Luca.
He’s going to put Paolo in our class. That way, you’ll never be alone.
You’ll have both of us around!” I look at it, feeling tears welling up in my eyes.
A mixture of shame and gratitude mixes inside me.
I feel afraid that I won’t be able to go on alone, and incredibly grateful to know that the two of them will be there for me.
I see Paolo coming back toward us. “It’s done. Capo put me in your class. You don’t have to worry. You’ll never be alone. I know we’re not the best company, at least is something, I think.”
I nod, a little touched. “Thank you, really! You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t, but I feel like I should; we’re here to look after you and protect you; keeping you company is part of the job, in my opinion!”
I smile at them both and head for the entrance, with them by my side and the certainty that I won’t be alone.
I feel like I’ve blinked, and two months have passed, two months with two guards who, even if they never admit it, I think we’ve become friends; two months of classes, headaches, anxiety, and crying. Two months of smiles, jokes, andnew friends, two months without seeing Luca.
***
I get out of bed too early for a Saturday, but Paolo has texted me that he’s almost home, bringing Luca with him.
When he called me a week ago to say he was coming to London for a week, I thought he was joking; then I remembered that Luca doesn’t joke.
Francesco says things have calmed down in Italy, but even though he said he’d come as soon as things settled down, I didn’t believe him and now I’m panicking and don’t know how to act with my fiancé, with whom I’ve had three encounters and spoken a little more than that on the phone.
I get up slowly and have a quick shower, putting on a simple dress. I walk into the living room to see Francesco sitting on the sofa, watching something on TV. “They haven’t arrived yet?” I ask, already knowing the answer.
“They should be here soon!” he says, shrugging his shoulders unbothered.
“I still don’t understand why he’s coming here!” Francesco looks at me as if he’s asking, and I elbow him, waking him up. “He’s your fiancé; it’s normal for him to come and visit you!” he says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“We hardly know each other!”
“Maybe that’s exactly why. You’re getting married, and I don’t know if you’ve been told, but there are no divorces in the mafia. You’ll be together until the painful end, so you’d better get used to each other’s companies!”
I roll my eyes, knowing he’s right, and wonder what information he’s giving Luca.
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye.
He’s concentrating on the TV, and for a moment, I wonder what kind of information Luca is demanding.
Paolo and Francesco show clear displeasure at my closeness to Henry, but it’s not as if we’re dating.
He studies law with Leticia; I met him at a party for their course; he’s handsome, calm, friendly, has pleasant conversations, seems to like me, and isn’t a murderer.
He dreams of being a supreme court judge and condemning crimes, not carrying them out.
I’m jolted out of my thoughts by the door opening, and by instinct, I get up immediately, as does Francesco. Luca walks through the door imposing, muscular, cold, and just as beautiful as the last time I saw him. His presence makes my body shiver, and I condemn myself for it.
“Welcome to London!” I say without much enthusiasm, and he looks around the apartment, analyzing it thoroughly.
“I have detected two security flaws that must be revised!” says Luca to his soldiers, completely ignoring my presence. I think about retiring to my room and ignoring him again, but that would be too childish.
Francesco looks at him with admiration in his eyes. “We will fix that right away!”
I sit on the sofa without really paying attention to anything. “Are you ready for our breakfast?” I wake up from my thoughts at Luca’s words.
“Me?”
“Who else would it be?”