Chapter 16 #2
“Logically, yes, but each one has its own purpose; there are drug labs, drug storages, weapons storages, hand-to-hand combat training rooms, a shooting training room, meeting rooms, rooms for prostitutes who don’t stay in the clubs, andcasino exclusively for Camorra members.”
“Organized crime indeed!” The words come out of my mouth without me realizing it, making Francesco let out a small laugh. I look at him, and he gestures for me to get out of the car; I jump out of the car, seeing some dust rise into the air.
I follow Paolo and Francesco as they give me a little tour of the base. “Is Luca here?”
Francesco looks in my direction and nods. “He’s in a meeting at the operational center with the Underboss and the Consigliere; they’re arranging everything for the change of power.”
I nod as I enter the firearms training warehouse; the place is silent, with only two soldiers in it talking. Paolo signals to them, and they leave quickly. I see Francesco open an adjacent door and walk out, giving Paolo a positive sign.
“Over here are the changing rooms; you can change in there. Francesco and I will wait for you to start.” I let out a nasal laugh and nod.
“You can start training; it’s not like I’m inexperienced with weapons; you don’t have to teach me anything; I’ve seen where the weapons are; as soon as I get back, I’ll choose one.”
I see the two of them nod and pick up their guns, standing ready to fire. I walk toward the changing room and feel my nose wrinkle as I enter; it smells of sweat and blood. I put my bag down and try to change as quickly as possible.
Leaving the locker room, Francesco and Paolo are silent and don’t notice my presence I watch them pick up rifles, the last ones my father put on the market, smiling as I try to observe their reactions to the firepower of those weapons.
Paolo is the first to unlock the gun; I see him aim at the target, and as soon as the shot is heard, my brain clicks.
I feel my body fall to the ground, and I cover my ears, trying to drown out the sound of the shots.
Tears well up in my eyes and I close them trying to take my mind off the sound.
Another shot and I can imagine the cars skidding on the asphalt, I hear the glass shatter and the explosion.
I see the cars burning in the middle of the road, I see someone trying to get out of them with their body on fire.
My mind doesn’t stop; it goes further. Images of Nikolai bloodied and with a sick smile take over my mind, and I can visualize Luca’s face when the bullet hits him; I can see the pain and uncertainty on his face.
I see the bullet hit Don Henrico in the spine and make it impossible for him to get up and help his son; I see blood coming out of Luca’s chest and his eyes slowly closing.
I can’t stop calling his name, begging him not to die, not to leave me.
I feel strong hands shaking my body and worried voices calling my name.
I open my eyes slightly, and everything seems blurry; I look down at my hands, and they seem to be covered inNikolai’s blood.
I try desperately to wipe it off on my pants, but nothing seems to help; the blood has stained me forever.
I close my eyes and hug my body, seeming to hear the sound of gunshots chanting in my brain: deaths and more deaths.
I try to push the images away, but more and more blood seems to flow across the floor, staining my entire body.
I feel my body being lifted off the ground, and I despair, trying to free myself in every way, imagining my death, long and painful.
I open my eyes, but they can’t focus, and I continue to fight for my release.
“Chiara… Chiara… Chiara, calm down, it’s me!
” Gradually, my mind comes into focus, and Luca’s voice takes over my ears.
I open my eyes, feeling his calloused hands try to keep my tears away.
I lean my face into his touch, feeling his finger leave a light caress on my cheek; with his other arm, he pulls me toward him so that my body rests against his chest. A soft kiss is placed on my head, and I feel my eyes close, letting the accumulated tears escape from them.
“It’s okay, Principessa, I’m here! Nothing will happen; I won’t let it. ”
I turn toward him and let my face rest on his firm chest, letting the tears and despair leave my body little by little. “What happened?”
Luca looks at me, holding my face and looking at me in confusion.
“Paolo and Francesco were shooting with rifles; when they unloaded their weapons, they heard you saying my name repetitively; when they looked at you, they found you on the ground covering your ears and crying. They tried to calm you down, but all you said was my name…”
I feel the tears fill my eyes again, realizing that I’ve gone into shockand had an anxiety attack provoked by the same mechanism that helped me get out of the chaos, getting rid of it. “You weren’t here; they said you were…”
I can’t finish the sentence because Luca jumps in. “I was in a meeting; they called me when they couldn’t get you to calm down; I came immediately!”
“I don’t want to be a burden, I…”
Luca holds my face, placing a light kiss on my lips. “You are not a burden; you are mine to protect and care for, and I will put your well-being first.”
“You shouldn’t, the Camorra…”
“The Camorra can wait; things are quiet; you couldn’t wait; you needed me, and I came; I will always come to you when you need me.
” I smile at him, feeling my heart swell with so much love.
I hug him tightly, feeling his strong arms around my body, making me feel protectedandsafe.
“What happened, Chiara? Why are you like this?”
I look at him, and I can see the worry on his handsome face.
“I don’t know, I just… when I heard the sound of the gunshots, I saw myself again at the entrance of the jet, when the shots were fired when they tried to reach me, and everyone ran for cover, to save me.
I heard the sound that the guns made when they were fired in our direction, I heard the sound that the car made when it explodes after being hit by gunfire.
I think I’ve finally become aware of how deadly they are; before that day, they were fun and helped relieve tension, but now all I can think about is what happened to you and your father; you almost died.
I saw the blood after all the shootings, the deaths, Nikolai’s blood on my hands, on my body.
I killed him, and worst of all is that I don’t feel guilty for doing it; I should have God I had a man killed, and I don’t feel guilty about it. I killed him, Luca.”
His face looks soft when he looks at me; a caress is placed on my cheek, and a kiss on my lips.
“You shouldn’t feel guiltyfor fighting for your survival; he died because he attacked us, he knew that his actions would have consequences, and he paid the price.
” I can’t say anything; I don’t know what to say.
Nikolai thought he would kill everyone and take me with him as a hostage; I don’t think he thought about the consequences.
“We’re going to have to work with the guns, you and me. ”
I nod and pick up the gun in the holster on his chest. He says nothing, watching my every move carefully.
I look at it as if I were studying it for the first time as if my family wasn’t responsible for making it.
I unlock it and stretch out my arms with it in hand, aiming at a vase on the small table in front of us.
I place my finger on the trigger and nothing, I do absolutely nothing, remaining paralyzed, with the gun in my hands and my finger on the trigger.
I feel Luca’s arms encircle my body, and his hand holds mine over the gun; his finger rests on top of mine on the trigger.
I feel his breath on my neck, and he lays a light kiss on it.
“Shoot it, nothing here is really important.” I don’t; I feel my breathing getting heavier and noisier. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere, nothing bad is going to happen to you, I won’t let it, I promise!” He says next to my ear. “Shoot!”
I close my eyes, feeling Luca’s arms around me, his protective presence close to me.
I open my eyes and look at the vase and shoot, knowing that he’s holding me, that he won’t let go.
The sound of the shot and the shattering glass makes my body shudder violently, and Luca squeezes me tighter against him, increasing his hold on my hand.
I take a deep breath and unload the gun, feeling my body’s reactions diminish as the gun unloads.
I pull the trigger, and nothing happens; I feel Luca let go of my hand, and I pull the gun toward me, checking that there are no bullets in it.
I let go of my body and let it rest on Luca’s, feeling his arms around my waist.
“You did great, amore!” I smile as I hear his husky voice comfort me and feel my heart sing.
“I won’t let the attack destroy me! Let Nikolai have that power over me.” My voice is hoarse and low.
“He won’t destroy you, I won’t let him!”
Luca stands up and offers me his hand to hold; I place my hand on him, making him pull my body closer to his.
I smile in his direction and leave a kiss on his lips, seeing a smile appear on them as I walk away.
I follow Luca into the shooting room; no one is there; we’re alone.
I observe the room as if it’s the first time I’ve entered a place like this.
Luca comes toward me with a rifle in his hand.
He holds it out toward me, and I grasp it uncertainly as it travels across my body.
I feel the weight of the gun in my hands and unlock it automatically, almost naturally.
I aim at the target and take a deep breath.
“Do you want me to help you?” His voice shows that he doesn’t think that’s the best option, but he’s still willing to do it.