Chapter 19 #5
“There are roses everywhere. White ones in full bloom, the ones you love. But I’m not looking at them.
” My hand finds hers, squeezing gently. “I can’t look at anything but you.
You’re walking toward me and you’re smiling, really smiling, the way you used to before everything went wrong.
And you’re choosing me. In front of everyone, in the garden where we grew up, you’re choosing me. ”
“Cristiano…” Her voice catches.
“That’s what I see,” I tell her, meaning it with every fiber of my being. “Just you. You’re all that matters. The rest of the world could disappear, and I wouldn’t notice because you’re there and you’re mine and nothing else exists.”
She’s quiet for a long moment, her fingers still moving through my hair. Then, tentatively, “What about Leon?”
The question surprises me enough that I open my eyes. “What?”
“Leon. Your son.” There’s something careful in her voice, like she’s testing me. “Wouldn’t he be there? At our wedding?”
“Of course he’d be there. But in the moment you’re walking toward me, all I can see is you.”
“What would Leon be doing?” She’s sitting up slightly now, looking down at me with a smile on her lips.
I realize what she’s doing. She’s taking my obsessive fantasy and making it real. Making it whole.
“You tell me,” I say softly. “What do you see?”
She bites her lip, and I can see the exact moment she decides to indulge this. To step into the daydream with me.
“He’d be our page boy,” she says, and there’s light creeping into her eyes. “He’d take it so seriously. He’d practice for weeks to make sure he didn’t drop the rings. He’d wear a little suit that matches yours, and he’d be so proud and nervous.”
A smile curves my lips. I can see our son, just as Mina describes him.
“He would be perfect,” I murmur. “Just like his mother.”
“And Carly would be the flower girl. Rosa’s daughter. She’d insist on picking her own dress, and Rosa would have to take her shopping three times before she found the right one. She’d have a basket of rose petals and she’d scatter them very seriously, making sure they landed just right.”
I watch her face as she speaks. The wariness is melting away, replaced by something that looks like hope.
“We could have the reception in the garden as well,” she continues, her voice gaining energy.
“Under fairy lights. And the cake would have raspberry filling. Mom would cry happy tears, and Rosa would dance with everyone. Adora would be smiling because we’re family now, really family, and no one would be afraid for me.
They’d all just be happy for us. Just celebrating. ”
She stops abruptly, and I see the surprise wash over her face. She forces a little laugh. “Listen to me. I’m planning our wedding like it’s actually going to happen. Maybe I’m the delirious one.”
My chest feels too full and tight. I reach up with my free hand to cup her face, my thumb stroking her cheek.
“This is why,” I tell her, and my voice is rough with emotion.
“Why what?”
“Why I love you.” I hold her gaze, needing her to understand this.
“I see you and only you. I’m obsessed with you, consumed by you.
But you see everything. Leon and our family and a whole life stretching out in front of us.
You make everything complete. You make everything beautiful and whole and real. ”
Her eyes are very bright as she gazes at me.
“I told you once that my world is cold and gray without you in it. You add color to my world. I need you to show me how to build a life, not just how to hold on to the one person I love. I need you to make us into a family, because I don’t know how to do that alone.”
She’s staring at me like she’s seeing me for the first time. Like something is clicking into place in her mind.
“You make everything better, Mina. You make my obsession into something that could actually be…happy.”
“No one’s ever…” She stops, and then tries again. “No one’s ever told me that I make things better just by being there. I’ve always felt like such a disappointment,” she confesses in a whisper.
“Mina,” I breathe. “You could never disappoint anyone. Not me. Not your family. We’re lucky to even know you.
Leon is the happiest little boy in the world because he has you, and I…
” I picture my life if I’d never known Mina, never loved Mina, and it’s as bleak and sunless as a distant planet.
“Life would not be worth living without you.”
For a moment we just look at each other, something fragile and precious hanging in the air between us. Surrounding us like a beautiful daydream come true.
She goes on stroking my hair, and my eyes are already drifting closed. The exhaustion is too much, pulling me under despite my best efforts to stay in this moment. She’s the last thing I see before sleep claims me.
Her face glowing with possibility, like she’s just discovered what it means to be truly loved.
I’m falling now, sinking into warmth and safety and the knowledge that she’s here beside me, that she let herself dream with me, that she made my obsessive fantasy into something real and beautiful and full of life.
For the first time in five years, I feel like maybe we could actually be a family.
Maybe this perfect moment doesn’t have to end.