Chapter 21 #5
The reporter is saying something about structural damage and flames threatening neighboring buildings. I stare at the flames on the television, and I can’t make myself close my eyes as though it’s not happening.
I have a terrible feeling this is happening because of me.
I turn to Vincenzo. “Tell me, please.”
Vincenzo stands, pushing a hand through his hair.
His jaw is tight with anger. “The Lucanias, the men who attacked Cristiano? Rafiel Lucania is a friend of mine. He and his father Don Gabriel are in prison, and in their absence the Sokoli crime family have been eating through their territory. Silas Cross, a man the Lucanias trust, has been trying to hold the line. A month or so ago, he came to Cristiano for help. He laid out a plan that would benefit both of them. Together, Montoni and Lucania soldiers, led by Cristiano and Silas Cross, would hit key Sokoli locations and weapons stores. A surprise, preemptive attack that would stop the Sokolis from butchering everyone loyal to the Lucanias.” His tone becomes bitter.
“Cristiano gave his word and pledged men to help. They were going to push the Sokolis back together and keep both Lucania and Montoni territory safe, but Cristiano didn’t show up. ”
“Why not?”
Adora and Vincenzo exchange a look, and realization washes over me.
“Because he had surgery?” I exclaim.
Neither of them answer. Neither of them needs to.
The fire fills the screen, orange and merciless.
When Cristiano agreed to the surgery, he must have known what he was walking away from. He gave his word to the Lucanias, and he knew his territory was under threat. And he chose Leon anyway.
I press my hand against the doorframe, needing something solid.
Why didn’t Cristiano tell me what was at stake for him?
But I know why. He was choosing Leon. He was putting his son first, even though I lied to him and put colored contacts in Leon’s eyes so his father would never guess his identity.
Cristiano never explained what he was sacrificing for our son, because he was protecting me from a world that I’ve been too scared to face.
Whether I was ready for it or not, I’m in that world now. The man I love is suffering because of the choices he made to protect me and save our son.
No more hiding. I have to know everything.
I look Vincenzo square in the face. “But why is the Diamond Grand burning?”
“Because without Cristiano and his men, the operation failed,” Vincenzo tells me. “The Sokolis haven’t just taken all of the Lucania territory. They’re continuing their path of destruction through Malus by burning the Diamond Grand to the ground.”
I can barely feel the doorframe under my hand. I looked at the man I love covered in blood, and I saw a monster who only acts out of self-interest. The story I’ve been telling myself—that Cristiano is cold and manipulative, and I was right to run from him—has a hole in it now.
On the screen, the roof of the Diamond Grand collapses. The reporter flinches away from the heat and noise.
My chest hurts, and I feel sick with guilt and confusion.
Adora says something, but I don’t hear it.
Cristiano didn’t tell me why he killed those men. He didn’t warn me there’d be consequences for saving our son. He just chose quietly and went under the knife.
He chose us.
I go to the window and look out, and he’s still standing there, a darker shadow against the night. He looks so much worse. He’s swaying, visibly struggling to stay upright. His head droops forward, then jerks back up. Even from this distance, I can see how violently he’s shaking.
I press my hand to the glass, my eyes burning with misery. My whole body aches with tension.
Our eyes meet across the distance. He must be able to see me outlined in the fiery glow from the television.
And then, as I watch, his knees buckle.
He doesn’t fall gracefully. He just collapses, his body crumpling like a puppet with its strings cut. He hits the pavement hard and doesn’t move.
“CRISTIANO.” The scream tears out of me before I can stop it.
And then I’m running. Out of the room, along the hallway, bursting through the front door. The rain hits me like a wall, but I don’t care. I just run.
“Help!” I’m screaming as I cross the street in darkness. “Somebody help.”
I drop to my knees beside him. He’s not moving. His eyes are closed. His skin is ice-cold under my hands.
“Cristiano.” I shake him, my hands on his face, his shoulders. “Cristiano, please. Wake up. Please wake up.”
Nothing.
No response.
No movement.
“No.” The word comes out broken. “No, no, no. Don’t do this. HELP!” I scream toward the house. “SOMEBODY HELP ME!”
I press my fingers to his throat, searching desperately for a pulse.
I can’t find one.
He can’t be dead. He can’t be.
Not like this. Not because he loved me so much he stood in the rain until his body gave out.
“Please,” I whisper, leaning over him, my tears falling on his face. “Please don’t leave me. Please don’t leave Leon. I need you. Please, Cristiano. Please.”
His face is slack and lifeless, and he doesn’t hear me.