Chapter 8 #3
“The girl you knew was a lie. That wasn’t me,” I said bitterly, throwing my arms wide and scoffing. “Even if I had a choice, Xavier, I still would have done it.”
I wasn’t sure what I meant by that, but that thing in my chest coiled, stealing my breath for a beat. Xavier's face fell, his brows furrowing in confusion as if he had felt it too.
“What was that?”
“I said, I would have—
“No,” Xavier snarled, cutting me off again. “What was that feeling you just had?”
Xavier stepped even closer to the barrier, now only inches from it, and from me on the other side. Towering over me, I had to lift my chin to keep our eye contact. His question came out so deadly, so lethal, that I shivered.
Being this near to him made my pulse quicken, and I heard it in my ears as I tried to figure out how he could sense things from me, but I couldn’t sense anything from him.
“Nothing,” I breathed, and his glare intensified as a sardonic laugh escaped his lips.
“That wasn’t nothing, Zara.”
“If I said it was nothing, then it’s nothing,” I snapped, taking a small step closer.
“I saw what she did to you. How she tore through your memories, how she chained you to that chair. But that wasn’t the first time, was it?”
My eyes widened. How did he–realization crashed over me, and I sucked in a breath. Had he been seeing my memories? My blood boiled and my gaze darted between his. What had he seen?
“Stay out of my head,” I hissed through clenched teeth, heat burning my cheeks.
Xavier only glowered, pity clouding his eyes. “How long has she been twisting your mind, Zara?”
My hands trembled at my sides and acid burned the back of my throat.
In response to my silence, a growl rumbled low in his throat. “You can’t answer, can you? Or do you just not know?”
I didn't respond again and Xavier nodded, his lips twisting in disgust. “I’m not sure what she did to you, but this isn’t you, Zara.”
“Do not pretend to know me, Xavier.”
“Then tell me, little stalker, how long has she been tethered to your soul?”
“Since you’re apparently prowling around inside my head, why don’t you figure it out?” The words leapt from my tongue like venom, and he yelled back just as deadly.
“How long, Zara?”
“I don't know!” I roared, and something inside me shattered. The words tore from my throat before I could stop them. My chest heaved, and shame washed over me, a suffocating helplessness flooding my system as I confirmed his suspicions.
I couldn't recall a time she wasn't with me, a time this heavy, coiling darkness in my chest wasn't present. Saying it aloud, admitting it, felt utterly devastating, and I took a shaky step back.
Xavier moved as if he were about to reach for me, and my stomach sank at the thought that he was about to try and comfort me. Forgetting the ward, his body crashed against it, and the protective magic propelled him into the air.
A buzzing snap echoed, and dirt exploded as he crashed twenty feet away.
Xavier’s snarling roar sounded, and a second later he materialized back in front of me.
His tattoo swirled on his skin, thrashing on his chest as he growled, “Don’t you see what she has done to you, Zara?
To your life? I know what it feels like to be without my soul.
The emptiness, the anger. And she has twisted your mind into thinking that what you feel is normal, that what you are doing is right.
” The words sliced through the air, and I shook my head at him.
“It’s not Zara. She is evil, and you have to know you are on the wrong side of this. ”
I needed to leave, needed to get away from him.
“Stop running away,” he barked as if he had heard my thoughts, and perhaps he had.
Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I spat, “Next time, Xavier, our meeting won't be so pleasant.” I tore my gaze away from him, turning my back. My skin crawled and my pulse raced as I stalked back toward the trees.
A persistent feeling inside me urged me to turn back, but I resisted.
“Zara!” Xavier growled, calling after me. The sound of the ward's magic sounded again, and Xavier’s frustrated roar sounded shortly after.
Shadows surged around me, my hair lifting on a phantom wind as a tug started to pull at my center. But something made me hesitate.
“Whatever she’s done to you. I’ll undo it. I’ll fix this.”
Xavier's words rang through me like a bell, a promise stitching itself deep into my bones. Pain lanced through my arm, and I spun sharply to face him.
“I'm not something you can fix, Xavier. I'm not that girl you knew. Never have been, and you'd be wise to forget her.” Rage and hopelessness washed over me as I turned away again, my shadows swirling around me.
“Zara.”
When my name left his lips, it sounded so broken, so desperate that I looked over my shoulder again.
Xavier was on his knees, his fists clenched at his sides. His chest heaved, his eyes swimming with torment as he desperately searched for a way past the ward.
He met my gaze once more, and I felt his unspoken plea through our bond.
Come back to me.
But there was nothing left of me to save.