Chapter 20 #3
“Liar!” I growled, my fists clenching at my sides. A dewy coldness spread over my skin, and my fingers tingled. I almost swayed, my eyes burning with an overwhelming flood of emotions, and I choked out, “You've never been there for me, never!” My voice cracked as another tear slid down my cheek.
“I told you, Lana,” Lex snapped, turning his glaring pale eyes toward her, “she can’t be saved. She will always be a sniveling, ungrateful pet.” Lex spat the words, and I could tell he truly meant it; he truly believed that I was unsavable.
And he was right… his words splintered my already fragile insides, and I looked between the two of them.
“Lex,” Lana hissed, turning to him angrily. But I didn’t wait to hear his response or to hear anymore of her lies. I turned, the trees blurring around me as I stalked back toward the camp.
“You can’t tell anyone,” Lana hissed after me, but I didn’t reply. I couldn’t bring myself to. I was over this day, this week, this fucking life.
“We can’t trust her, Lana,” I heard Lex argue, heard his footsteps as he tried to follow me, and I paused, tensing as I readied to fight him, but his steps stopped.
“Let her go.”
Lana’s voice floated to me, and I began walking again.
I needed a fucking drink.
*
The hallway seemed to stretch endlessly before me, and I let out a groan.
Why was it so long? My palm landed on the icy stone floor as I stumbled, and I leaned forward, pressing my forehead against it.
It felt amazing. My dizziness subsided, and I peered up, glaring back down the hallway.
My room was at the very end, well, not my room, but the room I was about to throw up in.
Glancing in the opposite direction, I smirked. Maybe I should puke in Lana’s room. I snorted, slapping a hand over my mouth to stifle my laughter, but it only made me laugh harder.
Pushing off the floor, I staggered a few more paces forward.
I'd stumbled into the first tavern I'd seen on my way back from the forest, and I might have had a bottle… or two of whiskey.
Something cool was in my grasp, and I glanced down, grinning. I raised the whiskey bottle I was still clutching to my lips, only then remembering I'd brought it. The smoky liquor burned deliciously as it slid down my throat.
I stumbled again, this time into the wall.
My shoulder slammed against it painfully, and I winced, leaning back against it to catch my breath.
I took another long swig, only to spit it out, laughing, as my eyes landed on the portrait hanging on the opposite wall.
My gaze landed on a small blonde boy wearing a deep emerald tunic.
A large dagger sticking out of his face.
I might not like Aria, but that shit was funny.
My smile fell away as my eyes moved over the tall, dark-haired boy standing next to him and I scoffed, pushing myself off the wall and striding over to it. I pointed an accusatory finger in his direction, my eyes narrowing, as I said mockingly, “You’re going to be the ruin of me.”
I took another sip from the bottle, but only a drop landed on my tongue.
I scowled at the empty bottle, then threw it over my shoulder.
Hearing it shatter against the wall, I glanced back with a smirk.
Oops. My gaze returned to the young boy, my mate, my finger still pointed.
He was handsome, strong even then, his eyes full of mischief and happiness.
“Funny how right you were,” I mumbled sarcastically, attempting a curt curtsy but nearly losing my balance. I pointed a finger back at my own chest and whispered, “Except, it was you who would be the ruin of me.”
I sighed, my gaze drifting upward to the petite woman dressed all in black standing beside them. Her eyes seemed to bore down on me, as if she were truly there. My finger shifted to point at her.
“I have nothing to say to you,” I hissed, hiccupping. “You are the ruin of us all.”
Turning sharply, I cursed as the hallway seemed to lurch, the floor and walls swaying. Fighting to keep my footing, I finally managed to make my way down the corridor to the door at its far end.
I had chosen to stay in Arias’ room. I told myself it was to learn her secrets, but I think it was so I could try to better understand her.
Step into her shoes or something like that.
I snorted again as my hand clasped around the handle, and I practically fell into the room as I swung it open.
A choked sound escaped my lips, and it was on the verge of turning into a sob that threatened to send me to the floor.
I composed myself, however, when my blurry gaze landed on a red-haired girl standing in the center of the room.
“Cynthia!” I practically squealed, stumbling towards her, practically jumping into her arms and wrapping myself around whatever I could hold onto. “You have some explaining to do!” I sang the words to her as I clung to her, or perhaps she was clinging to me.
I realized my eyes were closed, and I squinted them open to find her glaring down at me. But it wasn't her warm brown eyes I saw. I blinked, and her round, freckled face swam into focus. I snorted again and tried to stand up straight, but her grip only tightened.
“I can make it to the bed on my own,” I said, swatting at her as she tried to drag me towards it. She released me hesitantly, and I straightened, taking a confident step forward. Only, instead of getting closer to the bed, I was now somehow getting closer to the floor.
“Fucking fates, Zara,” Cynthia cursed, and she caught me before my face smashed onto the stone. Suddenly I was being flipped and pulled into her arms and my eyes widened at her strength.
“Whoaaa, you’ve been doing those workouts I showed you.
Look at you!” I threw my head back in laughter, and the world felt like it was spinning, but not in a fun way anymore.
I felt the bed beneath me but snapped up immediately, my hand going to my mouth as I shoved Cynthia back, leaning over the bed.
The contents of my stomach spilled onto the floor, and hands wove into my hair, holding it back for me as I continued to wretch up what little food I had that day.
Once I was sure I was done, I shoved her hands away.
Why did she think it was okay to touch me?
I snorted again. Well, I was just hanging all over her...
and I preferred not waking up covered in vomit, so I decided to give her a pass..
Hiccuping, I fell back onto the plush mattress and shut my eyes.
The room was still spinning, and I groaned. I felt the sensation of water over my skin and my brows furrowed.
“Where have you been, Cynthia? I was worried,” I whispered, and I tried to open my eyes, but failed.
They were too heavy, and this bed was so comfy.
Relief at Cynthia being okay crashed through me, and those lingering emotions I didn’t want to feel surfaced.
I turned onto my side and scrunched into a tight ball, my hands wrapping around my legs as I pulled them into my chest.
A hand went to my cheek and tears began to fall down my face. I didn’t deserve sympathy. I didn’t deserve any kindness. I deserved to feel like this. The thing Morgana has made me was unredeemable, unsavable.
“I just want it to end, Cynthia,” I said weakly. “I need it to end.”
I was shaking and my chest was so tight I felt it was going to explode with the amount of grief that was flowing through it.
Cynthia was silent, and I thought maybe she left me; it would be what I deserved.
That prickling sensation happened again, but this time on my ankle. It felt cold and hard, and nothing like the water I felt moments ago. It slithered on my skin, and my stomach plummeted at the familiar sensation.
Managing to force my eyes open, my body stiffened.
My gaze locked with blazing emerald eyes as a tall, brooding figure loomed over me.
My gaze snapped down, and I saw a silver chain now wrapped around my ankle.
Shock spread through me as my breath caught, and I snapped my head back up to meet his stare, more nausea boiling to the surface.
Bile rose at the back of my throat, and I pulled my legs further into my chest, unable to think, move, or process what was happening.
Xavier’s face was pale, carved with anger and pity. His eyes were like sharpened glass, yet he didn’t strike. Didn’t move, just stood there watching.
My vision swam, and I felt myself losing consciousness as I chuckled a breathy laugh. “Figures.”