Chapter 26 #2
What he confessed to me, I swallowed thickly, the memory burning into my soul.
I hadn't told Jaxon. I hadn't told anyone, and I wasn't sure how I was going to tell him. I had been keeping it a secret, and it was eating me alive. But today wasn’t the day to tell him, not at Flynns funeral.
Let him mourn publicly the man he knew and later privately I would tell him…
let him mourn the father he could have had.
That was the part that angered me most. Flynn was already a father figure to us.
Raised us. Why did Jaxon have to grow up thinking he was our uncle?
My brother? Why had the Fates asked that of him? To lie?
A crowd gathered around me. I knew my friends were somewhere in it, safe. We would grieve together when this was over. But this ceremony wasn't just for my uncle. It was for all the lives lost. Not only in Blackrock that day, but for all who had lost someone because of this war.
Jaxon was the only one at my side, and together we stepped toward the towering wooden pyre now in the center of the square.
Gunnar had crafted it. A phoenix. A symbol of rebirth and hope.
We turned to face the crowd, and hundreds of faces peered back at us.
A sharp pain stung behind my eyes, but I kept the tears at bay.
I had to be strong, had to be a leader, just as Flynn taught me.
I spotted Julian and Randy in the crowd, with Theo, Gunnar, Aria, and Dedra standing next to them.
Cynthia, the other redhead, was there too.
I couldn't help but notice Dedra was farthest from Theo, and Theo kept glancing her way with a pained expression.
I looked away from them, and Jaxon cleared his throat beside me as I raised my voice and addressed my people.
“Today, we honor those who have fallen, not just here in Blackrock, but across all of Nexia, due to this war.
We are here to remember the men, women, and children whose lives were cut short.
For centuries, our people have faced immense hardship and loss.
We've rebuilt time and time again, and even in the face of destruction, we've found ways to endure, support each other, and rise again.
We haven't lost hope, and we won't. Those we lost deserved full lives, not tragic ends. They deserved peace and safety. It is in their memory that we will press on, not for revenge, but with hope for a brighter future, ensuring fewer families endure the suffering we are enduring now.”
Slowly I turned to face the pyre, my heart pounding in my chest.
“This is why we've chosen the phoenix as our symbol. From its ashes, we will rise together, united and stronger than ever. We will face the days ahead as one. They will be challenging, but we must continue forward together. We must fight for a better life, one they all deserved to live.”
My eyes closed, and I took a long, shaky breath before turning to Jaxon and nodding.
He turned and stared at the towering phoenix, his eyes red as he raised his palms. Fire erupted in long tendrils, shooting into the air and breaking apart into six individual strands.
The strands floated around the pyre, swirling in rhythmic twirls before crashing together to form a large circle around the phoenix.
The flames separated again, tunneling down until they licked the bottom feathers, igniting the perfectly crafted wood.
The tendrils broke apart once more in the middle and flared out, setting the phoenix's wings ablaze.
Turning back to the crowd, I took in their sorrowful looks. Their heads were raised as they stared at the pyre, sobs filling the air. Their grief suffocating.
“Tonight, we grieve. We remember. We hold each other up in the darkness. And in the days to come, we will continue living. We will keep those we lost close to our hearts and keep fighting for the world they should have had.”
My eyes continued to prickle, to burn, but I kept my face neutral, that of a King, of a warrior. Someone strong enough to carry their burden, their weight for them. A leader who can bring them out of this time of war and into one of peace… just like Flynn taught me.
A hand clamped down onto my shoulder, and I couldn’t help but startle from the sudden touch. Jaxon nodded to something in the back of the crowd, and I frowned. A commotion was breaking out near the village entrance and shouting floated to us over the parting crowd.
My gaze landed on Dedra, who was shouting and punching something into Theo’s chest. What was she doing? I began to head in their direction, the crowd parting for us as everyone turned in her direction.
Theo was clutching something to his chest, his eyes pained as he stared at his sister.
Understanding flickered through my mind.
A letter. Our letter to her, telling her about Flynn.
Fuck. Had she just arrived? Or has she been here?
I hadn’t seen her come to the castle. I should have checked on her, should have sought her out, and I kicked myself for not thinking of her, for being distracted.
“Did you know she was this upset?” I asked Jaxon, but he only shot me a severe look as he hurried his steps. Dedra's voice cleared and I could hear her shouting, choking on her words.
“You of all people, Theo—you!” The word broke from her lips like the cracking of a whip. Theo physically flinched, not meeting her eye as his grip tightened on the paper clutched to his chest. Dedra shoved him again, and he let her, stumbling backward.
Gunnar and Julian’s expressions were pinched as they watched. Gunnar whispered to Dedra to try to soothe her, but she wasn’t listening.
Cynthia was near Theo, her gaze fixed on his face, pinched in what looked like concern.
“Dedra,” I called as I approached, and her head whipped around to me so fast, I was taken aback. Her eyes were swollen, tears streaking down her reddened cheeks. Her hair, which I hadn’t noticed from afar, was braided haphazardly, frayed and unkempt over her shoulder.
“And you.” Another sob broke through her lips, and a finger rose to point in my direction.
“You—you knew what he meant to me! And this was how you told me, how I found out!” She was screaming, and I glanced around nervously at the crowd that formed around us.
Dedra stumbled, and I realized with gut-wrenching clarity that she was drunk.
She had to stop. This wasn’t right. Flynn wouldn’t have wanted this. She had interrupted his funeral, their funeral… for this.
I could see Cam and Elida in the crowd behind Dedra, their faces twisted with grief as Cam held Elida to his chest, Elida shaking her head and sobbing.
“Dedra, enough,” I commanded, and I took another step toward her. Theo’s head whipped toward me, and a second later the skies erupted in flashes of light. My eyes widened, and the hair on my arms stood up, as I acted quickly.
A shield shot outward, extending around my people and the village as lightning struck down onto it, one after another, and my shadows ripped from me, my anger rising.
How fucking dare she.
My shadows began to spear for her, but Theo stepped into their path, making me pull them back. People were screaming, fleeing, and I snarled. Theo shook his head at me and stepped in front of Dedra, grasping her shoulders. Dedra was breathing heavily, her eyes unfocused as she looked my way.
“Dedra. Look at me!” Theo yelled, shaking his sister. Dedra’s eyes shifted toward his, and they appeared to be vacant. “Look where you are, Dedra, look at what you are doing,” Theo whispered. He was being gentle with her, and her eyes seemed to refocus.
Dedra seemed to come back to herself, her eyes widening as her magic winked out. The skies settled and a mournful sob ripped past her lips as she tore out of Theo’s hold and ran.
Theo lunged to go after her, but Cynthia stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head and whispering something to him I couldn’t hear.
Theo stopped, his shoulders slumping as he turned toward Aria, who nodded and sprinted after her.
Her red hair disappeared into the parting crowd, and I took one step forward, about to follow, but Gunnar stepped into my path.
I had seen him only briefly when I brought Julian to him after the attack. He had only woken up that day and had already been put to work. Guilt churned in my stomach at the thought, but I knew there was nothing that could have been done about that.
Gunnar was wearing a thick black robe, his gray beard covering the emerald embroidery at its front. Gunner smiled sadly up at me, his wrinkled face pinching as he said, “You need to finish the funeral. Dedra can wait.”
I stared into his blue eyes and glanced over his shoulder at where Dedra had disappeared.
“Your Majesty, your people are waiting,” Gunnar said again, more softly, and I met his gaze again, nodding before turning and walking back through the crowd with Jaxon to the pyre.
*
The tavern was packed, and Cam and Elida were rushing between tables, passing food and drinks around the room. They needn’t do it, but they couldn’t help themselves. I’m sure they wanted to stay busy, keep their minds off Dedra, and I sighed heavily again at the thought of her.
Aria had found Dedra in the woods and brought her back to her room. They haven’t been down since. But that was okay. Dedra needed to sober up and I would deal with her another time. Who I really needed to speak with was Jaxon, but he ran off after the funeral and hasn’t been back since.
There were so many things we needed to discuss, and I wasn’t sure where to start. All I knew was that I couldn’t hold on to this secret any longer.
“Want to talk about it?”