Chapter 29
Zara
I didn’t have to open my eyes to know I was back in the dungeons.
Back in my cell. Xavier must have shadowed me back here while I slept.
The lumpy cot under me was nothing compared to the lush silken feathers I had been on just hours ago.
Or was it only minutes? There were no windows down here, so how would I know?
I took a deep breath, his scent filling my lungs.
It clung to the shirt I was wearing, his shirt, and I smiled faintly.
The rough blanket scratched my arm, and I tried to drift back to sleep, struggling to ignore the damp chill of the cell I'd been tossed back into. I let my thoughts drift to last night. The throne room, Xavier’s cock deep inside me, the feel of his hands, his lips.
The ache between my thighs was evidence that I hadn’t dreamt it. It had been real.
I turned onto my back, sighing deeply. I wish I could turn back time and experience it all over again. The ache of him, the need for him still heavy. My hand moved to my stomach, my fingers slipping toward my waistband.
“Finally. You sleep like the dead.”
I screamed, rolling and jumping to my feet, my eyes shooting open and landing on a figure on the other side of the bars in the cell next to mine.
My eyes focused and widened as they landed on Cynthia. Her flowing red hair was neatly curled and rested over her shoulder. Her freckles floated across her cheeks like stars as she grinned in my direction. She was safe. She was here!
Cynthia was gripping onto the cell bars, beaming at me. “I’ve been trying to wake you up for hours!” she shouted and then she wrinkled her nose at me. “You know, you kind of smell like sex.”
I felt blood rush to my cheeks and Cynthia’s eyes widened. “You guys didn’t!” She blinked, and I straightened the black silken shirt Xavier had given me to wear. “You did!”
“Shh, keep your voice down!”
Cynthia laughed, jumping onto her cot that was next to her and folding her legs underneath her. “Go on, tell me,” she said eagerly, and I shook my head at her, rolling my eyes.
She was alive, safe.
“No,” I said sharply, but I couldn’t help but huff a laugh and found myself at the bars, an arm outstretched toward her. She blinked, and I pulled my arm back abruptly, but she already caught it before I could get out of reach.
“Were you worried about me?” she taunted, and then pulled me hard and fast toward her, my body smashing against the icy bars.
My eyes flew wide but the anticipated sting of the barbed metal never came.
Cynthia wrapped her arms around me as best she could, and I stood frozen, unsure what to do.
She laughed again, and it was a loud rich sound that had me relaxing into her touch. “I missed you too, Zara.”
I awkwardly patted her on the back, and Cynthia released me frowning. “We need to work on your hugs. They're not good.”
That had me grinning, and I stepped back, Cynthia’s arms falling away.
I looked at the bars again and frowned. The barbed metal was gone, replaced with smooth black. I glanced at the cell door where my skin had been cut open and saw that the cell doors no longer had the sharp, twisting metal either. I shook my head and turned my attention back to Cynthia.
“What are you doing here? How?” I started to ask. I had so many questions. The biggest of all was why she was in a cell? How did she get here? Where was she this whole time?
“That’s a very complicated and long story.” She sighed and fell back onto the cot, a sharp yelp sounding as she rubbed at her ass. I smirked and sat back on my cot as well, facing my friend.
“Well, it looks like we have time,” I suggested, my hand waving to the cells we were currently trapped in. Cynthia rolled her eyes, reaching into her pocket and pulling out—for fates sake—was that cheese?
“Want some?” she offered, and I watched as she took a few pieces from her pocket, passing them to me through the bars. I accepted them, shaking my head. That girl really loved cheese. I sat back onto the cot, placing the slices onto my thigh.
Something Xavier said came to the forefront of my mind. As for your friend, it was how I was able to get in and out of the damn ward in the first place. In my panic, I hadn't been listening, but now I understood.
I looked at Cynthia and sighed. “So, you are a rebel, then? Like Lana?”
Cynthia choked, a piece of cheese flying from her mouth. “You know about Lana?”
I nodded. “And about her and Lex.”
Cynthia’s hands went to either side of her head. “What about her and Lex!”
I flinched. Shit. I thought that if she knew about her being a rebel that she would have known about him too. Fuck. “Uh—nothing, just that she is working for him, being a rebel and all that,” I said, trying to brush it off.
“Fates, the way you said it… well, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were. They are always with each other.” Cynthia's brow furrowed, and she eyed me suspiciously but didn’t press the issue. Her gaze dropped to the floor, and she looked devastatingly at the damn cheese spoiled on the ground.
“For how long?” I asked her, trying to change the subject back onto her. She looked back up to me, her demeanor changing as she shifted uncomfortably on the cot, taking another bite.
“For as long as I can remember, I suppose. I never agreed with the way things were in Velra. How society was made, the deaths, the violence. The way the queen controlled… everything. Everyone. The way she was able to just take you and kill your mother. I guess it really started that day.” She shrugged.
“I was sent to Ironfell and I don’t know, I just became a spy for the rebellion. ”
Cynthia paused, looking down, her fingers crumbling the cheese in her hand as she twisted it. “Turns out there are a lot of people like me, like them, already in your ranks.”
She looked up, her eyes icy as they bore into mine. “I knew who you were, heard the rumors, the stories, and after seeing you that first time.” She sighed. “I hadn’t wanted to believe you could be that person.” Cynthia snorted. “The Viper of Velra.”
“Lana warned me to stay away from you, but I had to talk to you, and then you started remembering, and I don’t know, I hoped you knowing the truth would help, to want to fight back.
I begged Lana to tell you about her and the rebellion, about me.
But well, you can imagine how well that went over.
” Cynthia snorted again, and I stayed silent, letting her get out what she needed to say.
“I thought maybe you would see things differently once you saw the truth of how things really are. And then that stupid plan, I only went along with it to keep an eye on you.”
Cynthia's eyes burned brightly as she smiled. “You were like yourself again, just how I remembered you as a kid, I mean. I kind of wished you stayed like that. Wished Xavier or Jaxon found a way to keep you here...” Cynthia said, trailing off.
I shook my head. “She would never have allowed it, not that it would matter, she still has my soul. My magic.”
Cynthia nodded. “Yeah, well, it changed you still, I think. Your time here.”
She looked at me as if she wanted me to confirm her words.
But what did she want me to tell her, yes?
That my whole world was ripped apart, shredded and torn until the truth about my life, about this world, about that ancient witch came to light, and despite all of that, I still couldn’t do anything about it?
That the truth, that knowing changed everything, and also changed nothing at all.
I was still trapped. Still had no will of my own, this chain around my ankle the only thing holding my life in limbo at the moment.
“It doesn’t matter, Cynthia. This all doesn’t matter,” I said, standing and folding my arms tightly to my chest, putting my back to her. The cheese on my lap flopped to the damp stone floor.
This was just another delay in the inevitable.
I knew Morgana knew where I was, and she could get me at any time, but she hadn’t.
She wanted me here. She was still using me, even now.
Morgana would make me hurt them, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it.
No matter how much I wished I could just snap and be the person they all wanted me to be, I couldn’t.
I deserved my fate, and it was coming for me either way.
“All of this matters, Zara! What are you talking about?”
I spun to face her, my rage and grief overflowing as I spat, “Not for me. You might have a choice in all of this, but I don’t.
” The words broke as I shouted them. “Regardless of what I do, it doesn’t matter because she has control of me, Cynthia.
And even if you win this war, I won’t be here to see it. ”
“What are you talking about?” Cynthia snapped, standing from the cot, and it was as if she truly didn’t understand, didn’t realize. I laughed because she probably didn’t.
“My soul, my magic, has been bound to Morgana’s for as long as I can remember, Cynthia.
It’s been that way for so long that even if Gunnar, or Xavier, or whoever, finds a way to sever it, it would be impossible.
I’m a part of her now. I’m only alive because of her.
” Each word that escaped felt like a shard of glass, and bile rose in the back of my throat.
Cynthia looked as if I had just slapped her. She was shaking her head at me vehemently, “That can’t be true, Zara, it just can’t—you—”
“I what? I have nothing, Cynthia!” I shouted, slashing my hands through the air in anger.
“In order for you all to win, she has to die, which means I will die,” I jabbed my finger into my chest so hard it nearly cracked.
“And if Morgana wins, I might as well be dead. I’ll be chained to her, to Atticus for the rest of my miserable life, forced to murder and kill anyone I ever dared to care about. Including you.”
Tears streamed down my face, and I angrily wiped them away, the dampness only fueling my frustration. They had become a weakness. Making what was to come harder, unbearable. I would have to watch it all unfold—their deaths, their suffering.
Cynthia flinched but stood tall. “Xavier, Jaxon, they’ll find a way, they’ll—”
“You don’t understand, Cynthia…” I choked out, my voice broken. “The Fates have already shown me my fate.”
“The future is always changing, Zara. Nothing is ever set in stone,” Cynthia spat and she sounded like Xavier. Cytnhia ran toward the bars, clutching them. “You don’t know that you will die,” she said softly, and it broke what little was left in my heart.
I turned from her again, walking back to my cot. I sat heavily onto it, placing my head into my hands as I rubbed at my temples.
“Look at me!” Her words were cutting, choking out of her as if she had to strangle them out. I looked up at her slowly, feeling detached, feeling nothing.
“It’s too late, Cynthia.”
Cynthia slammed her palms onto the bars, and I scowled at her.
“So, you are just going to give up? Let her win… It’s what you do best, right?” she scoffed incredulously.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, come on, Zara. Do you hear yourself? This isn’t a fucking pity party.
Fight back. Do something. Try. Don’t just give up!
” Cynthia growled. “Fight until your last fucking breath. Be angry. At least then you can say you died for something.” Cynthia’s words cut into me like a blade, and I snarled.
Cynthia only laughed. “She took your life from you, Zara. Your mother, your mate. Take something in return, don’t make it easier for her. Make it fucking hard.”
That coiling snake inside my chest seemed to warm and roar as if agreeing, and I sucked in a breath at the sensation. It had only ever been that icy, coiling snake, but this, this was different. This was warm and fiery, like a bird clawing to rip free and take flight.
My mind drifted to the countless other women, souls, and lives Morgana took—stole.
It felt as if all of those lives I just thought of were reaching out, forcing me to listen.
My chest swelled with the vengeance of centuries of women whose lives were taken, just as my own.
But then the dungeon door burst open, startling Cynthia and me, shattering the intense moment.
I quickly wiped away my tears, but Cynthia’s eyes stayed locked on mine. She was still waiting for my response, for me to say something. But the burning fire in my chest winked out, returning to ice, and that dark thing coiled tightly against my ribs again, stealing my breath.
Theo strolled down the hall and stopped in front of Cynthia’s cell.
He didn’t glance my way, his focus entirely on Cynthia, as he rested an arm on her cell door.
Theo yelped and quickly pulled it away, rubbing at the now cut on his forearm.
Cynthia frowned, looking in his direction, and I almost smiled. Almost.
I quickly frowned as I noticed the barbed metal was still on her cell–but not mine.
“Time to go mouthy,” Theo said, smirking, unlocking the door to the cell and swinging it wide as if he were making some grand gesture.
“My trial beginning, is it?” Cynthia spat, and Theo flinched, rubbing the back of his neck. His gaze landed on me, and he grinned.
“Look who is awake. Must have been some night you had,” Theo said, winking, and my cheeks burned. He probably scented me on Xavier, and I glowered at him. “You are missing out on some great sandwiches in the hall. Too bad you’re a prisoner and stuff.”
My stomach, to my annoyance, grumbled at the idea of food, and he must have heard, as he laughed. I didn’t bother to respond.
“Mouthy, on the other hand,” Theo said, slicing his gaze back to Cynthia.
Cynthia rolled her eyes and huffed as she glided past Theo into the hall. Her shoulder bumped his, and he feigned pain, clutching it as he turned and followed her down the darkened hallway. “Don't worry, I made sure they had extra cheese, just the way you like it.”
I watched them walk down the hall, my brows furrowing at their exchange. Cynthia didn't spare me a single glance back, not even a parting goodbye.
I hugged my knees to my chest, resting my head on them.
Citrus and cedar filled my lungs with each breath, and I felt the bond between Xavier and me open.
I flipped him off, projecting the image in my mind, hoping he could see it.
A dark, silky chuckle hummed in my thoughts, the sound sending a shiver down my spine.
The barrier slammed shut again, and then I was alone.