Chapter 33
Xavier
The cool night air kissed my cheek as I stepped out of my tent.
The leather straps across my chest dug into my skin, holding the swords to my back.
My boots sank into the soft earth, mud coating the already caked leather.
I inhaled deeply, my lungs filling with the aroma of sodden leaves, the musky scent of the rain-soaked forest, and my mate.
Any moment now, the horns would sound, announcing the approach of Morgana’s armies, and I'd have to shadow Zara away, just as Soren had instructed.
It felt like a betrayal. I wanted to protect her, not abandon her to my enemy.
My entire being wanted to hide her away until all of this was over, but the Fates had a plan, and I had to trust they knew what they were doing.
I couldn't be selfish, or I risked unraveling more lives than just my own.
Thanks to Gunnar's teachings, my mental barriers were strong, and I felt confident I could resist Morgana's commands if she tried to use our bond to her advantage, or at least for a while.
Atticus had caught me off guard, but now I knew what to look for, how it felt, and how to properly secure my mental barrier to deny them access.
I only prayed this battle would end quickly.
It was an hour before dawn. The sky was still full of stars, and a faint glow on the horizon hinted at the rising sun.
The camp hummed with the clinking of weapons, the rustle of fabric, and the hushed sounds of prayer.
I turned to see Aria and Dedra, armed and ready for battle, their matching leather jumpsuits bringing a smirk to my face.
They approached where I was standing, their shoulder armor glinting in the dim light. Vicious smiles on their faces.
Theo was cursing behind them, his twin axes strapped to his back as he hopped on one foot, trying to tie up one of his boots.
Soldiers laughed at him as he hopped by, and Theo flipped them off as he passed, finally managing to lace up the rest of his boot.
I chuckled and started to walk their way. Leave it to Theo to break the tension.
“Any sign of Jaxon?”
They glanced at one another, and my stomach turned. Where was he? We needed him. It wasn’t like him not to check in. Aria’s face mirrored my concern, and at least I knew I wasn’t overreacting. Something was wrong.
A yawn sounded from behind me, and I turned to see Julian approaching, his hair pulled back into a tight bun.
He wasn't wearing his glasses, which was a bit startling.
He held them in his hand, his gaze unfocused as he polished the lenses on his shirt.
The moment he put them on, his eyes enlarged and snapped into focus.
He was dressed in leather, daggers strapped to his sides, and I frowned.
“No.”
The cry was echoed by the others, who'd come to the same realization.
“I'm not just going to stand by while you all fight,” he growled, his injured arm still tightly bound from shoulder to wrist in bloodied cloth.
“What are you going to do?” Theo called. “Detach your arm and beat the enemy with it in an act of revenge?” He snickered, and I cut him a reprimanding look. Theo shrugged, a smile on his lips as Julian stepped into Theo’s sight.
“I am capable of fighting, Theo,” Julian snapped and raised an arm as if he were about to prove just that, his hand beginning to glow, but I stepped in front of him making his magic sputter out.
What has gotten into him?
“Julian, we know you're capable, but you're not healed yet,” I stated, glancing pointedly at his arm.
He scowled, but I cut him off before he could speak.
“You and Gunnar are our most skilled Weavers. We need you here.” Julian attempted to interrupt again, but I wouldn't let him.
“What good is winning if everyone we care about is gone?
I'm not sure what you're trying to prove, but it's not necessary.
We all know you'd be a tremendous asset out there if you were healed, but even so, I'd still want and need you here, helping with the healing. Working alongside Gunnar. You can save more lives here today than you could fighting out there.”
Julian glared at me and turned sharply, storming away back through the camp, not uttering a word. I sighed, shaking my head, and Theo’s hand fell onto my shoulder. “He’ll be fine, once the battle starts he will be too busy to remember why he is even mad.”
A silky voice interrupted us on my right.
“Was it just me or did he look really weird without his glasses?”
My focus locked onto Zara as she emerged from a nearby tent.
I swallowed hard, my gaze tracing the lines of her perfectly sculpted body.
She was clad in brown leather that clung to her like a second skin, daggers strapped to her sides and thighs, and a sword resting on her back.
Memories of the previous night flooded my mind, and I almost lunged at her, eager to relive every moment again.
A throat cleared, and I snarled at Theo. He raised his palms defensively and took a few cautious, necessary steps back. But wait…
“Who let you have weapons?” I hissed, narrowing my eyes at her. I'd given strict instructions that she wasn't to have any, and the small smile that spread across her lips made my heart pound.
“They were just in my tent when I woke up,” she shrugged. “Someone must have gotten the wrong orders.”
“I doubt that,” I muttered, my gaze scanning past her. “Where are the guards, Zara?” My blood heated, and I focused on her tent, muffled cries sounding from within. Zara's smile widened, and she batted her eyes innocently at me, as if she didn’t hear a thing.
“Theo,” I gritted out, and I watched him move past me toward the entrance.
“On it!”
A moment passed, and Theo’s chuckling laughter sounded as Zara’s eyes flashed with amusement.
“She hog-tied them and put an apple in their mouth!” he called out laughing as the muffled cries turned into angry shouting.
“You did what?”
Fates this woman was going to be the death of me.
“Oh, please, they are fine,” Zara said, scoffing and crossing her arms. “Bunch of babies, you all are. Can’t take a joke.”
I stalked toward her, my shadow casting over her, and she turned her head, refusing to meet my eye. I don’t think so. I grabbed onto her chin, pulling it toward me sharply so that her gaze slammed into mine.
“You do not hurt my people,” I commanded, and she rolled her fucking eyes at me.
“They aren’t hurt—well, maybe their ego’s,” she muttered, chuckling as she glanced at the two guards who were red faced and stumbling out of the tent. “Between you and me, they could use some more training.”
Her eyes held mine, and I didn’t know if I wanted to kiss her or punish her.
“Nice knot work though,” Theo’s lighthearted laugh sounded. “Had to cut them free, they were so tight.”
“Weapons. Now,” I growled. For a moment, it looked like she was going to fight me, but she just huffed, rolled her eyes, and started tossing them at my feet, one by one. Heat licked down my spine, my nerves igniting as I watched as I made my mate defenseless.
I glanced over and saw the guards who had exited the tent glaring at her.
I directed my anger toward them, a snarl leaving my lips as shadows appeared at my shoulders.
The guards quickly looked away, and I had to remind myself that she was the one who had harmed them, not the other way around.
They eyed me nervously, deciding to come back for their weapons later as they rubbed their wrists and stalked away.
“Do not do that again,” I warned, but I couldn’t help the small smile from creeping onto my face.
Zara winked, as she took a measured step back. “Of course, Your Majesty.” She gave me a mocking curtsy, a challenge glinting in her gaze.
Muffled laughter sounded behind me, and I stepped toward her to do what? I wasn’t sure, but as I did, a massive horn erupted, echoing through the camp.
Zara flinched, and the camp fell silent. It was nearly time.
Muttering and clinking of weapons began again, and the bitter reminder of what the day held filled the air as everyone started to make their way to their positions along the ward.
“That's my cue,” Theo announced, and I turned to face my friends.
Gunnar must have arrived while I was talking to Zara. I watched as he reached for Theo, and they grasped hands, sharing a brief, meaningful glance.
“Keep a tally of how many times you have to heal one of us,” Theo smirked. “Loser pays for a night out in Niverrian.” With that, Theo turned and fell into line with a group of soldiers.
“More or less injured?!” Gunnar called out, chuckling.
Theo looked over his shoulder, grinning, “The more the better!”
I shook my head, then turned to see Zara with her nose scrunched, clearly displeased with their distasteful bet.
Suddenly, a shrill cry pierced the air, and the sound of beating wings announced the arrival of Aria's griffin’s, who began circling overhead.
We all glanced skyward as Aria grinned and nudged Dedra in the arm.
“You ready?”
Dedra rolled her eyes before shoving her friend back, looping their arms together. “Let's get a move on then.”
With a final glance at all of us, they turned and followed the crowd out of the camp. We didn’t do big speeches or goodbyes. We said what we needed to say last night, all except Jaxon.
My stomach soured again and I glanced around as if hoping he would appear.
As if sensing what I was thinking, Zara stepped up to my side, a hand threading through mine. “Still no Jaxon?”
Shaking my head, I met Gunnar’s eye.
“He’ll be here soon. I’ll keep an eye out,” Gunnar said reassuringly, nodding with a half-smile before following the others.
Zara’s stare burned into the side of my face and I finally glanced back down at her.
“It’s time, Xavier.”
“No.”
Zara’s ocean-blue eyes softened and she smiled weakly. “I wish things could have been different.”
“Don’t,” I growled. “Don’t do that. Don’t say goodbye.” I tore my hand out of her grasp and took a step back. She followed on instinct and her palms came up to grasp either side of my cheeks, forcing me to meet her steely gaze again.
“I’m just glad I was able to know you.”
“Stop.”
I gently removed her hands from my face and pulled her closer, until we were standing chest to chest, our mouths mere inches apart.
“I need you to take off the chain and let me go, Xavier. It's time.”
“I’ll never let you go,” I breathed, and she let out a breathy laugh.
“All lambs eventually go to slaughter.”
A low growl escaped me and I shook my head, our lips brushing. “Not all lambs, love,” I whispered, “and especially not mine.”
“Our fate is already set, Xavier. We are already on borrowed time.” Her blue eyes locked with mine, and I committed them to memory–the way the blue resembled ocean waves, dark and endless, fading to lighter shades at their edges.
“You might die.”
The thought broke something in me, and I was pushing away from her again, my hand running through my hair. A strand fell over my eyes, and Zara pushed up on her toes, brushing it aside.
“So could you.”
Her voice was just as hushed, just as fractured, and through our connection, I felt the weight of everything left unsaid between us.
The second horn blared, making me flinch and I squeezed my eyes shut.
It was time.
We needed more, but this was all we had, and it might be all we ever got.
My mouth crashed onto hers and she met my kiss with one of her own. It was all-consuming, breathless, time-stilling. I had to do it now, before I kept her all to myself. I couldn’t stall any longer.
Shadows enveloped her, and her lips left mine in a gasp as I slammed the barrier to our bond shut.
“Xavier, the charm!”
All I could do was shake my head slowly, the guilt crushing my chest as I whispered, “I’m sorry.” And watched as she disappeared.
I gazed longingly at the empty space where she had just been, then angrily pulled out the rolled-up paper Soren had given me in my study the other day.
A surge of anger bloomed in my chest, and the sting of betrayal echoed through me as I glared at the neat, scrawling message in my hand for the millionth time.
“Send Zara back when the second horn blares, but under no circumstances should you remove the charm. She must be returned unarmed and with it still attached.”
My skin heated again at reading it, at knowing I just sent my mate back to a monster with no way to protect herself. My fingers crumpled the paper but I kept reading.
“Now this is the most crucial and most important part Xavier. When you shadow her away, you must slip the pendant into her pocket.”
-Caelan.