Chapter 82 Ivy
IVY
I lie unmoving, my chest still feels tight, but I take in slow breaths as I hear my aunt whisper, “Is she going to be okay?”
“Yes. But I think we need to get her to a doctor just in case.”
I don’t want to go back to the hospital. This isn’t a best-day-of-my-life moment.
When they spot me watching them, Uncle Shawn resumes his spot on the sofa. “Are you feeling better? We really should go get you checked out.”
“No. I’m fine,” I lie again. Since everyone else is, why can’t I? “Why didn’t she tell me the truth?”
He shrugs. “She wanted to but said she couldn’t find the right moment. I think she was a little worried you’d see her differently. But no matter what you think, she never regretted her decision to raise you. She told me that so many times I lost count.”
I wish I could apologize to her. But there is someone I owe an apology to. “Tell Grandma I’m sorry.”
Uncle Shawn says, “She doesn’t blame you. She’s just hurting. And her medication really has been out of whack lately.”
“What about Freya? Where is she?” I ask, watching his uneasiness rise.
Damn it. Here we go again.
“Just tell me.”
“She passed away about ten years ago. Jennifer said they believed it was an accidental overdose.” He reaches over, wrapping me in a warm embrace. “I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“It’s okay,” I say and actually mean it. I should feel something for her. Be upset that I won’t have the opportunity to ever know her. But I don’t. I’m grieving for the mom I had, not a stranger who was never in my life.
“What about Zachary?” I ask, waiting until he finally says, “He’s Jennifer’s biological child.”
I’m jealous. Her blood is running through his veins. He still has a part of her. But I’m happy for him too.
“I have to go.” I stand as Aunt Kathleen begs me to spend the night.
“I have plans with a friend tonight.” Lies are coming way too easily. But I need to get away. Because lying that I can’t stay because I have plans is easier than the lie that I’m okay.