Chapter 85 Ivy
IVY
The freaking hospital. I stepped in front of a car. And I feel every bit of the impact throughout my body. The doctor informed me that there’s a hairline fracture in my shin so I’ll be in a hard brace for a while. My rib is broken again, along with two others, but my shoulder is fine.
“Ivy,” Anthony says softly. He’s the only one in the room, and I’m grateful it’s him and not Luca.
“This isn’t real.” I close my eyes. “You called me Ivy. No way I’m awake.”
A few seconds later, I lift my head and find his expression worried. “You scared me.”
The guilt weighs heavily. I don’t like the thought of hurting Anthony or traumatizing some person who was just driving along. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
He moves the chair closer to my bed, leans back, and folds his hands on his lap. “We don’t always realize how much our actions affect others.”
Son of a bitch. “If you’re here to advocate for him, you’re fired.”
Anthony keeps a steady, composed appearance. “Luca said you did this deliberately.”
When I don’t deny it, Anthony asks, “Was it?”
I remain quiet.
“Ivy, did you want to die?”
If I admit it, they’ll put me on lockdown. But it’s true. I wasn’t planning on waking up this time. “I didn’t want to be here anymore.” I half-smile, gesturing around the room. “Obviously, it didn’t work.”
“That’s not funny,” he scolds. “Do you know what happened to his mother?” he asks matter-of-factly.
“I don’t but I have a feeling you’re about to tell me whether I want to know or not.”
He states, “She committed suicide when he was eleven years old.”
“He told me she left.”
“She did. She told him and Micah good night, swallowed some pills, went to sleep, and never woke up.” Anthony’s voice wavers for the first time since I’ve known him.
“He blamed himself for not saving her. And he’s been trying to reckon with what he believes is his failure to prevent it.
I see the same determination in him again.
It’s the only reason I agreed to his absurd arrangement.
He might’ve gone about it entirely the wrong way. But his intention was genuine.”
I attempt to grasp the news but can’t. “How can I ever forgive him? How do I look at him and not see my mother? My mom is dead too.”
“That is entirely understandable. Only time will tell if the two of you can get past this. You just have to give it a chance and not cut it short.” He places a hand over mind.
“They’re going to send a psychiatrist in shortly.
I insist that you be honest with them. Because I will not allow you to leave this hospital until you speak with a professional. ”
“You’re an expert. Can I just talk to you?” I ask but he has his stern, I’m-not-playing-about-this expression. It’s what I’d imagine an adorning father would look like. “Have you spoken to my dad?”
“Yes. I’m unsure when he’ll visit, but he knows you’re in good hands.”
I let out a soft laugh that feels heavier than ever before. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you lie, Anthony. I get that you’re paid to be here, but please don’t do it again.”
He gives me a sympathetic half-smile. “Sure thing. But for the record, I’m not currently on the clock, Ms. Walker.”
“I swear if you don’t call me Ivy, I’m going to scream and that’s really painful at the moment.”
“We’ll discuss formalities later. Get some rest.”