22. I Can’t Breathe #2
I blink once, furrowing my brows. “Like a vampire?”
“Kinda. My social battery is dead.”
I burst out laughing. Behind him, Seth slips away to grab another drink. A minute later he reappears and immediately recoils as soon as his hand finds its way back to my hip. “Jesus Christ, Anders.”
I point accusingly. “Don’t.”
“You’re fucking sweaty. Like a disturbing amount…”
I throw my head back dramatically. “Why is everybody acting like this is some kind of medical condition?”
Vandy actually laughs, like an actual laugh.
We end up drifting toward the edge of the dance floor where it’s slightly quieter.
Slightly being a very generous word. The music is still loud enough that we have to lean closer whenever we talk.
“So why’d you come tonight?” I ask. “If your social battery is hanging on by a thread.”
He shrugs. “Didn’t feel like being alone in the apartment.” The answer catches me off guard. I study him for a second. For someone who looks perpetually confused, Vandy has surprisingly sad eyes.
“Well, where’s your shadow?”
“My what?”
“Your Mickey Rogers.”
Something flickers across his face, but it’s gone before I can figure out what it was. “On a date.”
“Ah.” I nod. Now that I think about it, Charlie did send me a ten minute-long voice memo ranting about her and Mickey’s situation hip. But it’s obvious Vandy isn’t that happy about it either. “She hot?”
“She’s a skank.”
I nearly choke. “A skank?”
“Svetlana the Skank.”
I start laughing so hard I have to grab his shoulder for balance. “My condolences. I understand your pain.”
He nods curtly. “Thank you.”
For a while, we just dance and talk and drink.
Seth floats in and out of conversations like he always does.
One second he’s next to me. The next he’s talking to strangers.
Then he’s back again. At some point, he squints at Vandy, then points like he’s found a golden egg.
“Dude.” Vandy visibly deflates. “That’s where I know you from. ”
I deadpan, already knowing where this conversation is going.
“You play for the Sents,” Seth points out. “Star center.”
Vandy rolls his eyes and smiles bashfully. “You caught me.”
“No hockey.” I point between the two of them begrudgingly.
“I’m serious. I am so fucking sick of hockey.
” The words come out sharper than I mean them to.
Immediately, Parker flashes through my head.
Stupid fucking Parker. Everything somehow circles back to him, like my brain is doing it on purpose to torture me.
“I bet it’s all your brother talks about,” Vandy says. Unfortunately, that opens the floodgates. The conversation drifts toward Luca. Then the team. Then Parker. Always fucking Parker.
“He has a soft spot for me,” Vandy admits. The pride in his voice actually makes me snort.
“A soft spot?” I laugh. “Dude. He’s fucking obsessed with you.”
Vandy’s entire face lights up. It’s actually kind of ridiculous. “Seriously?” he asks. “Deadass?”
The innocence in his voice pulls me from my silent protest for a beat. “Yeah. All the man talks about is making sure you secure Rookie of The Year. He’s always on the phone with Bish talking about line changes and ice time and when the best time is to have you play.”
The smile on Vandy’s face grows wider, like I just told him Santa Claus is real.
It’s stupidly endearing, which only makes me more annoyed that we’re talking about Parker again.
I need out of this conversation immediately.
“Hey, Sethie.” I glance over my shoulder. “Wanna go to the bathroom with me?”
Before he can answer, Vandy jumps in. “Oh, thank God.” He sounds genuinely relieved. “I’ve really been needing to go.” It almost feels like he’s been forcing himself to stand here…
I stare at him. Then I close my eyes. Of course. Of fucking course. Drunk Anders can’t handle needy men.
The bathroom trip is a disaster. Vandy waits outside the stalls the entire time. Like, the entire fucking time. Not checking his phone. Not talking to anybody. Not wandering off to find Malloy. He’s just standing there waiting like he’s our security detail.
At first, I tell myself he’s just socially awkward, but then we leave the bathroom and he follows us back to the booth.
I make a mental note to watch him a little more closely.
Seth and I stand up again. Vandy immediately follows suit, mid-conversation with Malloy about stupid music again.
Back to the dance floor the three of us go.
Back to more hockey talk because apparently Seth has decided tonight is the perfect opportunity to put his communications major to work and interview a professional athlete.
I spend most of the conversation drinking and trying not to think about Parker. Unfortunately, Parker keeps showing up anyway because I’m in hell and the world hates to see Drunk Anders thrive.
A story about practice turns into something Vandy says about the team. Then it’s a passing comment about road trips. And then Drunk Anders makes the mistake of checking his phone.
Pet’ka
This is fucking killing me
I can’t bear the thought of you hating me
I’m an asshole. I got jealous. I know I fucked things up
I need you.
Oh my God. This isn’t real.
Me
seth needs me more
srry daddy
I shove my phone back into my back pocket. He can sit with that text for a while. Maybe he’ll rethink the last few months.
It’s like trying not to think about a song after somebody gets it stuck in your head. The harder you try, the worse it gets.
By the time Aviva announces that she and Malloy are heading out, I’m tired, only slightly drunk, and rapidly losing patience with everyone involved. “Ready to go?” I ask Seth a little quietly so Vandy can get the hint. “We can head back to yours.”
“Wait. Hold on.” Vandy says it so fast that all three of us look at him.
His eyes widen slightly, like he didn’t mean to answer out loud.
“You two should come back to mine and post,” he says.
“I’ve got literally every kind of liquor imaginable.
” I stare. Vandy just keeps talking. “Seth, man. You know I live with Malloy and Rogers, right?”
“Dude,” Seth grins. “No way, man.”
“I’ll show you their awards.”
His grin widens. “Their awards?”
“Yeah. Their ROTYs and game pucks.”
The music thumps around us, but my patience has been stretched wire thin. Drunk Anders is gone. Cockblocked Anders takes over. “That’s your sales pitch?” I ask derisively.
“Well…” Vandy scratches the back of his neck. “They have this really nice display case downstairs…” I stare harder. That’s what he’s leading with. He thinks he can steal Seth away with a fucking display case?
Just like that, something clicks. Like puzzle pieces finally sliding into place.
The dance floor. The bathroom. The way he’s been attached to my side all night.
The fact that every time Seth and I ended up alone, Vandy somehow appeared out of thin air.
My eyes narrow, and Vandy immediately notices.
The guilty look on his face tells me everything I need to know.
Oh my God. I start laughing. “No fucking way.”
“What?” he asks.
“You.”
“What about me?”
I point at his chest. “You’ve been following me all night like some little lost puppy.”
His expression doesn’t change, which somehow makes it worse. “Have I?”
I nod my head and throw my hands out. “Yes!”
He shakes his head. “No.”
“Van Deusen.”
His mouth pulls into a grin. “Okay, maybe a little.”
I bark out a laugh, then I point vaguely upward because Parker unfortunately exists somewhere beneath the same sky as the rest of us. “He fucking sent you.” I throw my head back laughing manically again. Back to where I fucking started. “That motherfucker.”
“What motherfucker?” Seth asks.
“No one.”
“Pretty sure it was a motherfucker.”
I wave him off. Vandy looks like he’s trying very hard not to say anything incriminating, which is basically an admission of guilt.
Huffing, I scrub a hand over my face. “He actually sent a babysitter.” Vandy opens his mouth and closes it a second later, eyes narrowing, followed by a heavy sigh.
I start laughing even harder. “That’s insane. ”
“I don’t think it’s insane. No harm, no foul, right? Had a fun night…”
“You’re babysitting another grown man on your night off.”
He blows out a breath. “Allegedly.”
I nearly choke. “Allegedly?”
“Allegedly.” Vandy shrugs. “What, you didn’t have a fun time? I had to pretend to be nonchalant all night long because he said you liked that shit.”
He said I what?
“Oh my God.” At this point, I almost admire the commitment. Honestly, I would do the same if I was in his position. “Well, I think I’m gonna call it a night,” I finally say. “Since this is going nowhere.”
Seth looks disappointed. Vandy looks relieved. Neither reaction surprises me. “You sure?” Seth asks.
I nod. “Yeah. I think I’d rather sleep in my own bed.”
“Fair.”
I lean over and kiss him chastely. “Night, Sethie. I’ll call you.”
“Looking forward to it.” He smiles gently and kisses me back. “Night, babe.”
Then I turn toward Vandy, who is still smiling suspiciously.
“What?” I mutter.
“Do I get a kiss?”
I give him a smug look. “Are you gay or something?”
His grin widens. “For the right person, maybe.”
I shake my head. “Hope you find him. Goodnight, Vandy.”
As I head toward the exit, I pull out my phone. Shamelessly, I call him. And of course, the fucker immediately picks up.
I don’t even give him a chance to speak. “Are you fucking happy?” I demand. “Does it make you oh, so happy that your little goon cockblocked me?”
“Come home,” Parker says softly, but I can sense the desperation beneath it. “Just come home. Please.”