45. I Still Have Needs
I STILL HAVE NEEDS
ANDERS
Never mind. I take it back.
After a long, emotional day of surviving my family and pretending I’m not in love with my brother’s best friend, I almost forget to worry about surviving the ride home.
My family was dangerously close to staying at Parker’s, but fortunately my brother insisted on getting a hotel instead because he’s convinced the townhouse isn’t child-proof.
They offered to get me my own room at the hotel, but didn’t really even put up much of a fight when I explained I’d rather sleep in my own bed.
The bed I share with my sexy Russian hockey player.
But the moment Parker and I are safely contained in our Uber, Parker’s energy shifts. It’s like one of those moments in a movie where one person is hiding from the truth, while the other person is trying to say something without actually saying it.
The first thing that gets my blood pumping is when Parker leans into me. He keeps his face forward, but he slides his hand up my thigh and interlocks his fingers with mine. What should be comfort, instead hits me like a million sharp daggers.
“Hey,” Parker murmurs quietly into my ear.
It’s pitch-black in the uber. Late. Up front, the driver has his music playing a little loudly, but I could never complain.
“I missed you,” he whispers. “And I fucking hate that I didn’t get to watch you walk across that stage.”
I peek at him through the corner of my eye.
His face is dimly illuminated by the streetlights, but all I can really see is the outline of his sharp features.
I can feel him, though. It’s like his body is exuding some sort of heat that stings.
I know not to trust the sweetness in his voice. There’s something darker there.
“You came,” I murmur back. “That’s all I wanted.”
He tightens his grip on my hand, pulling it into his lap.
“I missed you,” he says again like it’s some mystery seduction tool of his.
“Yeah, you said that already,” I snort, turning to look at him finally.
“Come move to the middle seat,” he whispers. “You’re too far. I need to touch you.”
I don’t argue. I slide over, and the moment I do, he pulls me in like it’s instinct—arm around my shoulders, hand steady at my jaw, turning me toward him until there’s no space left to pretend this is casual.
“Parker,” I exhale softly, grinning. “The driver.”
His hand stays at my waist a second too long. Then I feel him shift beside me—small, deliberate. He snakes his hand up beneath my shirt, holding me by the small of my back. “Give me a hug.”
“You’re ridiculous,” I laugh, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
My body sparks all at once, nerves firing faster than I can steady them. Then his hand trails down lower, dipping beneath my dress pants. A shock ripples through me, sharp and unrelenting, leaving me unbalanced in my own skin.
Parker pauses a moment. “Anderson,” he whispers, putting a little space between us.
His eyes immediately flicker down to the front of my pants, and before I even realize it, he’s undoing my belt and popping open my button.
With one hand still around me, Parker unzips my pants and exhales sharply.
“What is it about special life events that makes you think it’s a good idea to wear these?
” He drags his finger along the top seam of the red thong I’m wearing.
“Mhmmh. I wore them for you, Daddy.”
“Yeah?” he murmurs gently. “Well I’m glad you haven’t forgotten yourself.”
“Forgotten myself?”
He reaches back around and sticks his hand back down my pants, swiping a finger up my crease. “I’m proud of that degree, baby. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve been counting down the hours until I can get you alone.”
Something tight and warm coils low in me.
“You’re still the same kid who crawls into my lap whenever he wants attention, aren’t you?
” When he presses against my pucker, I instinctively clench.
Parker clicks his tongue and shakes his head.
“Well that’s unfortunate,” he whispers deeply into my ear.
“You just made my job a lot more difficult.”
“Okay, but you didn’t—”
“You’re telling me you slipped into these slutty panties this morning and didn’t think to put a plug in your pussy for me?” And then he pulls back, retracting his hand and leaning fully against his seat. “You can zip your pants back up, angel.”
I sit there, just stunned. It takes several seconds for my mind to catch up with what he just said.
The rest of the car ride is a blur of passing lights and stolen glances. Parker slips the driver a Benjamin before leading me by the small of my back up the front steps. The front door clicks shut and we both take our shoes off.
I toss my gap and gown on a kitchen barstool, feeling Parker watch my every movement like a hawk.
With each footstep he takes, my heart beats a little faster.
When I feel his hand settle on my shoulder, my body tenses.
I go so still it’s almost embarrassing. He plucks the diploma from my fingers, my hand automatically letting it go.
“Go upstairs,” he orders. “Clothes off. Panties on.”
I swallow. “Shouldn’t we be celebrating me tonight?” I ask, my voice shaky.
He laughs under his breath. “Baby, I’ve been celebrating you all day.” He steps closer. “But I still have needs.”
My breath hitches as he turns me around. Parker looks down at me like I’m something to tame. Like he wants to put me in my place and remind me exactly who he is. “You got your degree.” His thumb brushes my jaw. “Now come let me have you for a while.”
I walk upstairs in a daze, shed my clothes, and wait on the bed.
Parker takes his time coming up after me. Every measured step seems intentional, like he’s in no hurry because he already knows exactly how this night is going to go.
The moment he appears in the doorway, my attention snags on the hand tucked behind his back.
I lean back on my palms as he approaches. He stops in front of me, looking down with an unreadable expression that sends a nervous flutter through my stomach.
When he finally sits beside me, the mattress dips beneath his weight. He pats his thigh. “C’mere,” he says quietly.
Heat floods my face. I shift closer, and he guides me into position with steady hands, arranging me exactly where he wants me.
“I like you like this,” Parker murmurs, tracing his finger along the thin cotton, stopping where it disappears down my crease. “You look good here, Anders.” He smooths his hand over my ass, squeezing each cheek almost impulsively. “I want us to have a safe word for this.”
“Zucchini,” I blurt.
For a second, neither of us says anything. Then Parker lets out a low laugh. “Zucchini,” he repeats. “Perfect.”
The sound of his amusement settles some of the frantic energy buzzing beneath my skin. Just enough to keep me from bolting.
I stare down at the comforter, twisting my fingers together. My pulse is loud in my ears. Part of me feels ridiculous. The other part is so aware of Parker standing behind me that I can barely think straight.
The first strike lands. The breath leaves my lungs in a rush.
Before I can react, Parker’s hand is in my hair, his fingers combing gently through the strands. “Good,” he says, his voice calm and steady. “We’re going to count to five, okay?”
The reassurance grounds me more than I want it to.
“One,” I say, my voice unsteady.
A second follows. I squeeze my eyes shut, focusing on the sound of Parker breathing, on the weight of his hand resting against me, on anything except the nervous energy trying to climb its way into my throat. “T-two,” I manage.
“That’s it.”
His praise sends a strange warmth through my chest.
I swallow hard. “Three.”
The room feels impossibly quiet except for our voices. Parker stays close, patient and unwavering, as if he’s watching every reaction, making sure I’m still with him.
“Four.” By now my heart is hammering so hard I’m surprised he can’t hear it.
The final count hangs between us. I draw in a slow breath and let it out. “Five.”
“Good,” Parker murmurs, his hand gliding down my back in a slow, reassuring pass. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I let out a shaky laugh as I push myself upright. The adrenaline is still humming beneath my skin, making everything feel a little too intense. My heart hasn’t quite figured out that it’s allowed to slow down yet.
Parker curls a hand around the back of my neck, his grip firm without being harsh. The gesture immediately pulls my attention back to him. “Did you learn your lesson?”
I tip my head back to look at him. “Yes,” I say. “Yes, Pet’ka.” One of his eyebrows rises. The look alone is enough to make me crack. “What? I did. I learned my lesson, Lovie. I’m a smart boy.”
“You don’t sound convinced.”
Heat crawls up my neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t wear a plug,” I mutter, mellowing a bit.
A laugh slips out of him. The sound does absolutely nothing to help my dignity. “Thank you,” Parker says. I roll my eyes. “You’ll know for next time.” The matter-of-fact certainty in his voice sends an entirely different kind of nervousness through me.
Parker rises from the bed. I watch him for a moment, my stomach twisting itself into knots as he reaches for his belt and slides it free. Every movement is unhurried and deliberate, like he knows exactly what effect he’s having on me. My pulse jumps.
When he finally looks back at me, there’s something certain and unreadable in his expression. “You can get on your knees now.”
I look up at him for a long moment, then laugh. “Dude, I got my degree today.”
He gives me a shit-eating grin. “Anders, I emotionally supported you. I deserve this.”
My eyes widen. “I graduated college a whole year early.”
His expression softens immediately. “But you love me so, so much,” he says, sticking out his bottom lip. I stare at him. Parker blinks innocently. “I shaved…”
“Oh come on! That’s a disgusting thing to do right now.”
I let out a dramatic sigh, I shake my head and slide off the bed. “Yeah, yeah. Congratulations to you, too. Big scholar over here.”