53. I Just Wanna Hold It
I JUST WANNA HOLD IT
ANDERS
Parker carries me in his arms, only complaining once when I make him stop in the kitchen for a bowl of ice cream. Every summer, I swear they keep enough to feed a small army.
“You are too much,” he murmurs into my ear. He sets me on the ground and disappears into the massive pantry, returning with a bottle of Magic Shell. I immediately wrinkle my nose at the sight of it.
“Get your own bowl,” I mutter.
He comes up from behind, planting a kiss on the top of my head. “I’ll just pour it on one side.”
“Nope.”
His arm curls around my chest. Parker leans down to whisper a slow “yes,” against my temple. “It’s time to get over your fear—”
“I don’t like that it just…hardens.” Seriously. “Love you, though.”
He exhales softly. “Fine, I’ll put it back—because I love you more.”
“That’s okay.” I turn my head to smirk at him. “People say you should always be with someone who loves you more than you love them.”
“Not even gonna argue?” He laughs to himself.
“Nope.” I turn my entire body, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing him in a tight hug. “Guess what.”
"Jesus." Parker laughs, threading his fingers through my hair. "What?"
“Ya tebya lyublyu.”
Parker squeezes me back now. “Where’d you learn that one?”
I nuzzle my forehead against his chest and laugh before the words even slip out. He makes it too easy sometimes. I tilt my head up and raise my brows. “It’s a new hockey documentary about two rivaling captains. One of them is Russian and said it.”
“Who? Reznikov? Abashkin?” He’s seriously falling for it. Just another reminder he’s a fossil. “No one asked me to be in it. I have rivals, too.”
“Yeah. Your biological clock.”
I immediately jump when his hand lands flat on my ass. “Hey, now.”
“Don’t call me old.”
I chuckle, sliding my hands up to cup his cheeks. “But you are.”
His look softens. “I don’t want any reminders.”
“Well maybe…” My mouth curls. “You should’ve thought of that before you dug your hooks into me. I’m a walking reminder, Pet’ka. All my youth and beauty…”
For a moment, I think he's somewhere else. Parker studies me with an unreadable expression before crouching to lift me onto the counter. “I’ve been thinking…” He tilts my chin up with his finger, eyes full of solemnity as his thumb brushes against my jaw. “I’m gonna seal the deal.”
My heart stutters because I know exactly what he means.
He means the next step. Our next bridge to cross.
As much as I love him—and have always loved him—the thought of marriage rarely crosses my mind.
Mostly because I try not to think too far into the future these days.
The present is just…it’s too good and I don’t want to miss a second of it. But now he’s actually said it.
“Yeah?”
He nods. “When you’re ready.”
I hook my fingers into the front of his shirt, reeling him in. “I want it, Pet’ka.” Our noses brush. I run my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you.”
“An equal amount,” I clarify. “I mean it.”
“I believe you,” he whispers with his lips against mine. “I love you, baby.”
My mouth curls into a smile so giddy it’s downright embarrassing.
“Oh God. What now?” Parker groans.
My smile grows almost painfully. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Just…give me a kiss.”
“You’re trouble,” he mutters before diving right in.
Electricity flickers beneath my skin as I kiss him.
Slow, unhurried, and deep. With my arms around his neck I pull him close, so tight, that Parker nearly topples over me.
I push a fruit bowl and plastic cup aside before leaning back against the counter.
I wrap my legs around his, fully trapping him in my grasp.
“Mhmm,” I hum as Parker’s tongue slips over mine.
The kiss turns heated faster than it should, considering we’re surrounded by everyone. My brother and Emelie are still outside with Jen and Vince.
I just can’t help myself.
Letting temptation get the better of me, I slide my hand down his chest, not stopping until I can feel his hardened cock through his shorts. Parker hisses when it happens. “Nu-uh. Not here.”
“No, lovie, I just wanna hold it for a minute.”
He actually considers it for a second, but then he shakes his head. “Anyone could walk in. Let’s go to bed.”
“Here. Right now.”
His visibly tenses, but his restraint right now is impressive. “Baby boy, you need to be good.” And then he pulls away, sighing like it’s painful. I watch with an amused look on my face as he puts away the ice cream. “We’ll come back for it later.”
I pretend to pout. “You promise?”
“Angel.” He smiles lazily, sliding his hand up beneath my shirt to hold my waist. “Keep making that face and you’ll send me to a mental institution—”
We both whip our heads in the direction of the back door being slid open. Emelie comes inside first, looking horrified. It does look bad. I’m basically laying on the counter while Parker is touching me in a not-so family-friendly way.
And then, of course, Luca walks in immediately after, sparing no time. “What the fuck are you doing?” He demands, eying Parker with murder on the mind, probably.
Emelie tries to hide her laugh.
Parker slowly retreats, genuinely throwing his hands up in the air to surrender. I scoff at that, my mouth dropping open. “What the fuck are you doing?” I say to Parker now as I slide off the counter. “You hate me? Is that it?”
He tuts, rolling his eyes.
“No, seriously,” I taunt. “It’s like you’re so disgusted with me. You can’t even touch me—”
“Sweetheart, please,” he sighs before not so subtly looking to Luca. “Now’s not the time.”
“Oh, great. Now you can’t even look at me. You’d rather look at my brother, wouldn’t you?” Parker gives me a look of disbelief for a moment before he grabs me, scooping me up and throwing my body across his shoulder. “Dude—Pet’ka.”
“Goodnight,” he mutters to Luca and Em.
Neither of them say anything, but right as we reach the hallway, Luca clears his throat. “Yeah, you better learn to control him.”
“I’ve been trying!” Parker snaps back, still walking.
“Well, try harder!”
My heart swells because that feels like acceptance, which is a whole lot better than tolerance.
Parker drops me onto the bed, sitting down beside me with a dramatic huff. “What the fuck is your problem?”
I throw myself into his lap. “So when are you gonna propose?”
He exhales softly, sliding his arms around me. “I told you. When you’re ready.”
I exhale dreamily, quiet for a stretch. “I don’t want a big wedding,” I tell him a moment later. “I was thinking France for the engagement. Somewhere tropical for the wedding.”
“I dunno, baby. That sounds expensive.”
I raise my brows and grin. “Don’t worry. I’ll be marrying into some wealth pretty soon.”
“Oh yeah?” He laughs.
“I’m just waiting on you to give me your credit card. You can also go ahead and put me on your insurance…y’know…to seal the deal.”
His expression turns soft. “If I give you a credit card, you’ll have to promise me you won’t bankrupt me over some baggy jeans and iced coffees.”
I lean in. “That might be a dealbreaker, Pet’ka. And besides…I have something else I want a lot more.”
We just stare at each other for a beat like two idiots in love. Just by the look I give him, Parker immediately guesses. “We can go to the shelter when we get back.”
My stomach drops. “Seriously?”
He nods. “Yeah, sweetheart. You can get your dog.”
My dog. I’ve wanted one for so long, but I’ve always pictured it being our dog. Even before we got together. Truthfully, it makes me tear up, because it feels like all my dreams are coming true. I’m gonna have the life I’ve always wanted. “Our dog,” I whisper.
Parker swipes his thumb gently beneath my eye. “Why are you about to cry?”
The tears spill over. “Because…I’m so happy. All of this makes me feel so…” I don’t finish my sentence because I don’t think there’s a word that can properly measure how happy I am. Instead, I just pull him in for a hug, nuzzling my face into the curve of his neck.
“Happy, happy, happy,” he breathes, smoothing his hand across my back while leaning his head against mine. “Thank you for being my happy.”
I choke out a sob, my emotional restraint thinning entirely. “Thank you for being mine.”
Parker presses his lips to my head, letting them linger. When I pull back to look at him, his mouth twitches into the smallest smile. Saying nothing, I kiss him. And he kisses me back like he already knows we're going to spend the rest of our lives doing this.