Chapter Twenty-One
Twenty-One
Lyric hadn’t asked Keys a single question about what had taken place while he was gone.
He’d asked her all kinds of questions in the two weeks that had gone by.
Every day he took her to the salon, dropped her off and went to work on the house his company was building.
At the end of the day, he would come to get her, just as if they’d been a couple forever.
It felt that way to him, as if she was such a part of him, she’d always been there.
He loved that first moment when he arrived at Lyrical Waves.
He knew she heard his bike, and she always flung open the door with that look on her face.
He craved the way she looked at him. Was addicted to it.
As if he were the best thing in the world.
She continually flung herself into his arms and whispered that she missed him.
Lyric always asked him about his day. She listened to him carefully. Laughed at his stories or seemed extremely interested in anything he told her about the build he and his partners were working on. She made him feel as if she hung on his every word and what he had to say was important to her.
He loved hearing her talk about her clients.
She enjoyed her time with most of them. A couple were difficult, but she had always run into that.
She didn’t mind. On the surface, it appeared as if everything was fine, but she’d asked about her car on several occasions.
He’d put her off, and she knew he was putting her off, and she allowed it. But he doubted she liked it.
They sat in the backyard in the dark together, one of their favorite things to do. She liked hot chocolate, and he always made her a mug when they were outside. Flames danced in the fire pit, warming them both as they sat close.
“I know you’re upset about the car,” he opened. It was a stupid way to bring the subject up, but he needed to clear the air between them. Guilt was a crap emotion and one he didn’t want to carry around.
She tilted her head back and looked up at the stars. “I’m not upset.”
She sounded like she was telling him the truth, and that made no sense to him. She’d asked three times.
“Babe.” Just that one word. A reprimand. He wanted to discuss the subject but wasn’t certain how to explain himself.
“I’m not upset about the car, Keys.”
“Then why keep asking?”
“Because having transportation is important. If something happens or I need to get somewhere and you’re busy, I can get there myself if I have my car.
Sometimes Seychelle or Anya or Blythe asks me to meet them at the Floating Hat, and you’re not here or busy.
I’d like to go, but I’m not going to ask them to pick me up.
” She shrugged. “It isn’t a big deal. It might get that way at some point, but it isn’t now. ”
He took the mug of chocolate from her and set it on the little table beside him. Threading his fingers through hers, he brought her hand to his chest. “I realized quite a few things when I was away from you. Things about myself that aren’t the best.”
Lyric turned toward him immediately, her green eyes darkening, but she stayed silent, letting him choose his words.
“I know I’m controlling, Lyric. That’s not a good trait.
I’m a hell of a lot more jealous than I want to admit.
They’re both ugly traits. I trust you. I know you’re not going to run off with another man, but I still want to beat the shit out of any man that comes near you.
And when you aren’t with me, I find myself terrified I’m going to lose you. ”
As confessions went, it wasn’t the best. He didn’t know how to articulate the terrible fear he had that she would be taken from him.
“If you tried to control me the way I’m doing you, keeping transportation from me, forcing me to tell you what I’m doing every minute and where I’m planning to go, I’d lose my mind.
But I find myself doing that to you. Holding on to you too tight. ”
His thumb slid along the back of her hand in a soothing caress.
He wasn’t soothing her, he was soothing himself, and he knew it.
“I don’t like that I do that to you. I’ve been working on letting go.
” He had been. He’d spent a great deal of time talking to Czar.
Trying to figure it out. It had been difficult to swallow his pride and go to Czar.
Whatever he told Czar, he knew he was telling Blythe.
Maybe he’d hoped Blythe would have a good solution.
“The problem isn’t you, Lyric. You aren’t doing anything to make me feel this way. It’s leftover crap from the things that happened when I was a kid.”
He’d even talked to Savage. Savage held on tightly to Seychelle, but there was a good reason.
Seychelle had several older friends she was very close to.
One recently had a stroke, and it was all Savage could do to keep Seychelle away.
The way her gift worked, she would take on the damage herself in order to heal her friend.
Savage had every reason to keep Seychelle close to him.
“I’m not complaining, Keys. I went into this relationship knowing what you’re like. You even warned me.”
“But I told you I’d get over it. I believed that. I’m worried I’m going to drive you away from me by holding on too tight.”
“You said it would take time, and I have no problem giving you time.” Lyric didn’t sound in the least bit worried. “I know you love me. I also know you want us to have a good relationship. When I ask you for something, you give it to me immediately.”
“Babe.” He brought her hand to his mouth. “You never ask me for anything.”
“That’s not true. I told you I wanted to go to the restaurant Crow 287, and you made arrangements for the next evening.
You brought me a skirt and blouse from Label 287, which were gorgeous.
You even remembered to get me a pair of boots, no heel, soft as butter.
I’ve never had anything like that in my life.
You did all of that because I mentioned I’d like to eat there. ”
“I like taking you out, Lyric. That’s not what I’m talking about. Other than your car, you don’t seem to need anything.”
“I’m making money at the salon. Torpedo Ink won’t allow me to pay them back.
You don’t let me help out with the money here.
If I needed something, I could easily get it myself.
Caspar Market is directly across the street from Lyrical Waves.
I can get us the supplies we need for our home.
I honestly don’t need anything else.” She leaned into him.
“You make me happy, Keys. I’m truly happy just being with you. ”
“And when you’ve had enough of me picking you up and dropping you off?”
“It’s called communication. Weren’t you the one who told me that was what made a good relationship? I’ll tell you when I need the car, and I’ll expect that you’ll get it here.”
Keys resolved that her car would be in the garage the next day.
She deserved it and he was acting like an idiot, trying to overcome fears he’d developed from his traumatic childhood.
Lyric was compassionate, caring and kind with everyone, but especially with him.
She’d had a traumatic childhood too, perhaps in a different way than he’d had, but she’d developed such a sense of compassion for others, while he had done just the opposite.
He trusted her. She was the first person he’d allowed himself to be vulnerable around.
She saw him and simply accepted him, flaws and all.
She understood his need to maintain contact with her throughout the day.
She sent him little text messages telling him what she was doing.
Who she was with. Telling him she was thinking about him.
Just small things throughout the day that made him feel as if he was her focus, despite her busy schedule.
“You’re discounting the fact that I have anxiety attacks,” she added.
“What do you do when I freak out? You never get angry with me. You don’t make fun of me or storm off, saying I’m impossible, even when I’m being impossible.
You always let me vent, and then you do your best to talk me off the ledge.
You surround me with your love and protection, Keys.
I feel that from you in some of my worst moments. ”
“I want you to always feel safe with me.”
“You make me feel that way. You do. Especially when I’m having an anxiety attack.
I don’t feel any judgment from you. If anything, you give me all the tools I need to succeed.
To refocus. Bottom line. You actually listen to me.
You hear me when I tell you I need something from you, not the kinds of things you were talking about earlier.
Your reassurance that I’m enough and will always be enough for you.
That I’m not leaning too heavily on you. You give me that.”
She sighed and leaned over to kiss his hand.
“I don’t like myself sometimes. I’ve had so many people throw me away, family and people I thought were my friends, that I just knew it was my fault.
I was the one who had to be at fault. I was different.
I couldn’t be me because no one would accept me.
Until you. You see me, Keys. So when I fall apart and have doubts about us, when I question you about how we can stay together, I fully expect you to be angry or dismissive of me.
You’ve never been that way. Not a single time.
You always validate my feelings, no matter what they are. ”
“Babe, you have a right to feel what you’re feeling,” Keys said.
“What good would it do to escalate the situation? I love you. I want you to feel loved and heard. The last thing we both need when one of us is losing our shit is for the other one to make it worse. What would be the point? We’re not in a war.
There is no right or wrong. There’s only us and how we make it right. ”
“You tell me exactly what you’re feeling, Keys, and that makes me feel like I can say how I’m feeling about you.
You give me the courage to be just as vulnerable with you as you are with me.
When you say sweet things to me, I believe you.
I quit believing in people a long time ago, but I believe in you. ”
Keys studied her expression. She meant every word.
“I know absolutely that when you wake up, your first thought is for me. I see it on your face. I hear it in your voice. You’re already thinking about me and what you can do to make my day a good one.
Those little notes I find in my pockets, just small things, but you take the time to make me feel I’m important to you.
When I wake up, my first thought is always going to be for you and how I can make your day special.
You gave us that, Lyric. You gave that to me.
I want that for the rest of my life. I want to always be better for you. ”
She smiled up at him. “I love that you’re an independent person, and you know that I am, but we love to be together.
I love that you do want to know I’m safe because I matter to you.
We’re new, Keys. I know we’re going to have arguments, but that doesn’t negate the fact that we’re good for each other.
We fit. So if you need to make certain for the next couple of months that I’m safe, I’m okay with that. ”
Lyric made his world whole. She brought a sense of calm into the storm that could be in his mind when his past reared its ugly head. But…he realized he gave that to her. Neither of them was ever going to be perfect, but they were perfect for each other. Neither had to wear a mask and pretend.
“I’ll have your car here tomorrow,” he conceded.
She laughed softly, stood up, and climbed onto his lap, straddling him, her arms sliding around his neck. “I guess I’ll be doubling down on my text messages.”
“I guess you will,” he agreed and took her mouth.