15. Chapter Fifteen #2
This is far more active and painful than the riding we've been doing: gripping tight with barely there thigh muscles to head up steep, ice-covered slopes, rising to a crouch and holding on for dear life as the horses leap over fallen logs, and tangling frozen fingers in shiny manes when they let loose, galloping across wide-open snowy plains to reach the base of the dark peaks beckoning up ahead.
It's late afternoon by the time we ride through the cluster of colorful houses and a handful of shops into the sun-drenched, stony courtyard of an ivy-covered lodge.
I'm grateful my legs hold out when I slide off Aven's back and stumble to unhook my pack before stable hands lead the horses away in pairs.
Cayzenn scoffs at the coin I offer and heads through the wooden doors to find out about rooms. Pulling my sodden cloak tighter in a useless attempt to get warm, I can't help grinning as I watch Willa and Hendrix exchange loaded looks.
They're about as subtle as the castle dogs begging for scraps under the dinner table, and I wonder if anybody else notices.
There's zero chance they'll manage to hide it from Cayzenn if they're not careful.
As if I summoned him with the thought, he rejoins our circle in the entrance way with a handful of brass.
"They had five rooms. Felix, take upstairs with Xaav.
" He tosses a key to a man talking to my sister.
He catches it with ease, and what look like three charcoal pencils tucked behind his ears seem to be at risk of getting lost in his riotous short brown curls, streaked with green.
"Obviously, Lira and Nav," Cayzenn continues.
I'm guessing the two people with their heads bent close must be a couple.
"Jeska, you take Drea, Willa and Alyxia can share, and Hendrix and I will double up.
" He hands out the remaining keys, and the beautiful woman we first saw with him flicks her plait back off her shoulder, not taking her bright emerald eyes off my sister as she grabs their key, scowling in annoyance.
I don't envy Drea, that rooming situation looks like it's going to be frosty. Whether it's some kind of rivalry or something more, I don't know, but the tension is palpable.
"Let me get this straight," Felix drawls, always the first to use humor to defuse a tense situation.
"Out of all your options, you're choosing to share with him?
Didn't know he was your type." My sister and Jeska roll their eyes in unison and stalk off down the hall.
Hendrix laughs and slings an arm around Cayzenn's shoulders.
"Me and this prick? I guess he’s not bad to look at, but it would be like fucking my brother. You could always swap with him, though," he says to Felix, matching his suggestive tone. Willa's laughing when I sneak a sideways glance at her, completely unbothered by the exchange.
"Do you think you could try not flirting with any more of them, at least for the next few minutes?" Cayzenn asks dryly, picking up his pack.
Hendrix shrugs, pasting on an innocent look.
"You can't blame a guy for trying when the opportunity presents itself.
I don't have much time if you're sending them back.” I bite back a laugh when he adds, "Drea is terrifying, and I can't exactly invite your sister back to our room, can I? Guess that only leaves one option."
He spins to look down at me. "What do you say, Aly? I can call you Aly, right? Want to join us? Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky, and there'll only be one bed." A delighted cackle escapes his lips, obviously proud of his joke.
Turning to follow Willa to our room, I toss over my shoulder. "As flattering as it is to be your only remaining option, I'll have to decline. Unfortunately for you, I don't think I'd like sharing. Otherwise, maybe we'd invite you to join us."
He looks momentarily stunned then howls with laughter, strands of his light-brown and buttery yellow hair dancing around his shoulders. "Ohhhh, ok ok, she's a funny one. You should stick around."
I grin, appreciating the sentiment, even though we won't be staying.
It's one that clearly isn't shared by the scowling man next to Hendrix. Cayzenn calls out to me. "Hey, Thief. You ready to give me that reason now, or am I arranging a pappus missive for the King?"
I turn to face him with a groan as the others slip into their respective rooms. All I want to do is get out of these wet clothes and into a hot bath. "What if you just pretend you never saw us?" I ask with false hope, knowing he won't agree but needing to stall while I decide how much to say.
"You don't honestly think I'm letting you run around the realm, do you?
" he grumbles, staring down at me. "I told you I want details before I'll consider anything.
And since I obviously can't trust you to go back to the city on your own," he continues, "I'll send the pappus and leave you here under Jeska's watchful eye until the guards arrive to take over. "
His tone turns amused, giving me a sadistic grin. "Of course, that means I'll be one short, and Jes will miss out on a critical mission, which will piss her off considerably. You two should have plenty of time to sort things out while you wait though. So what will it be?"
I'm struck with the urge to slap the expression off his face. "You won't understand."
"Try me or go home. Your choice."
"Fine," I hiss through clenched teeth. "But will you keep it to yourself? Your whole squad doesn't need to know." I don't have anything better than the explanation I used with Drea. All I can do is try my best to sell it and cross my fingers he doesn't laugh in my face.
Cayzenn nods. "Jeska is my second, Hendrix my third. I need to be able to speak freely with them. Nobody else has to know."
"Fine," I repeat, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
"We decided–I decided not to go to the Grotto.
I've always wanted to see the cerisus bloom, and this might be my only chance before I run out of time and end up matched and miserable.
" There's no need to force my tone to sound bitter and frustrated.
While it may not be my main reason for leaving, it doesn't make it any less true.
"You can't be serious?" he demands, his face the picture of incredulity. "You expect me to believe, you, someone who's never so much as left the city, is attempting to travel the road through the mountains so you can see some flowers?"
"It's not just about that. I want to see something, do something different for once."
He's not impressed, holding up a hand like he can't listen to any more.
"Let me get this straight. Shields and Endurers who want to be rangers compete in the Trials to earn an Amplifier, then undergo two full years of basics, training in survival, fitness, self-defense and attuned bonds.
And you decide to skip all that to, what, see a bit of the realm? "
"Yup, that pretty much sums it up. Good job," I bite back, his condescension fueling my anger.
"Of course you don't get it. You're a man, an immensely powerful one at that.
If you want to take the whole of your thirties to keep fucking around, you're free to.
And the worst you'll have to deal with is a few questions and a bit of gossip on the odd occasion you deign to come back to the city. "
Gods, my voice is thick and scratchy, like I'm about to cry.
Clearing my throat, I finish making my point.
"I'm useless for anything other than continuing a bloodline, and I'm about to run out of time before my parents can force me to get married.
So forgive me if I took the opportunity to do this one thing for myself before that becomes my existence. "
He rubs the back of his neck, considering me for a long while before answering in a much softer voice. "Different positions or not, I do get where you're coming from. It doesn't change how dangerous it is out here, especially with no training."
I fold my arms across my chest and glare up at him. "That's why we have Willa and Drea. They're both highly trained and exceptionally skilled. Now, do you have any more objections, or can I go bathe?"
A look I can't interpret flashes across his face, and he leans down toward me. "I'm not convinced, Alyxia."
"Well, that's all I've got, Cayzenn." Fuck using his title. He's not my Commander. "So, you can either let me go, or lock me up."
"Option two would be the appropriate course of action for a thief." He grins.
"It really bothers you that Aven chose me without a bullshit trial to tell me I'm worthy, doesn't it? Or do you actually believe I could steal an Amplifier?"
"It bothers me how little you value your life."
The words hit me like a blow; I don't know how to reply, so I keep my mouth shut.
His unyielding gaze holds mine for far too long, and I wait for him to push.
"I'm not sure I believe your story, but we'll leave it at that for tonight.
You should get cleaned up and eat. I need to go see someone before the sun sets.
Try to get some sleep. We have an early start in the morning. "
"What do you mean?" I demand. "Did you not hear what I just said? We have to go."
"Not tomorrow, you don't," comes the response as he turns and saunters down the hall toward the main entrance, not even bothering to drop off his pack or change into dry clothes.
"We're staying here for a reason. There's something we need to check out.
And since I can't trust you, you'll have to come with us for the day.
See you at the stables bright and early, Thief.
And don't get any ideas about slipping out in the middle of the night.
Our doors are only feet apart, and I'm a light sleeper.
Plus, I'm warding yours the second I get back. "
I raise both middle fingers at the aggravating man's disappearing back. This is the last damn thing I need.