42. Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter forty-two
Ihave magic.
I. Have. Magic.
It's a truth too vast to face in its entirety. If I have magic, I’ve had it since the Ritual. And raw power? No, I can't go there, not yet. What I need is to figure out this healing thing, for Willa’s sake.
There’s nothing I want more than to help her, so that's where I'll start, with the burning desire to see my best friend free of pain and laughing again.
Or, at the very least, well enough to be moved so we can get her home.
I can't think about how I'm going to explain to her brother that I healed him, probably twice.
Stumbling away from the stream, I find a solid tree carpeted in a soft blanket of pine needles and sit cross-legged at its base.
I close my eyes to the watery sunlight filtering through the trees and focus on my breathing.
Our morning practice seems as good a place as any to start, if I'm going to have to drop into my body and find the conduit to the power like Varistia said.
After five minutes, I'm restless. Ten, and I'm bored.
By twenty, I'm losing my mind. This is pointless.
So, what was different in the hot spring, and I guess the cave too?
Both times, I was touching Zenn, and both times, I think there was a sharp pain in my stomach right before he was healed.
Absentmindedly, I rub the left side of my belly, in line with my heart, and startle when I feel an answering zap.
Not painful, just a pulsing kind of warmth.
Eyes still closed, I lay my palm flat over the spot and press gently, sending my awareness there and trying not to feel foolish.
With a brief sensation of sinking through viscous liquid, I land on a smooth, flat surface overlooking a plummeting trench.
A fractured glacier of jagged, thick, black ice covers the entire broad expanse of the surface.
My gaze falls through the one of the nearby translucent patches, revealing a fiery golden glow rippling far beneath: Varistia's power.
A sour tang fills my nostrils as I take a step forward to the edge of the shadowy darkness. There's no way down.
Even if I was willing to risk tumbling into the molten stream, the ice holds me captive, limiting my movements unless I'm willing to cross or break it somehow.
The question remains: how do I get to the power so I can use it?
A silvery-white light glints at the far end of the ice, too bright to be identifiable.
Damn—when Varistia spoke of what's waiting on the other side, I didn't think she meant on the other side of a ravine. Guess it’s worth a try, for Willa.
Wiping my sweaty hands on my leathers, I take a tentative step, the terrain uneven but relatively solid.
Frost crackles up my fingertips in spiraling patterns, and my next step is less sturdy, met by a chorus of creaks and groans.
When my boot lands carefully for the third time, a splintering crack echoes through the immense space, and grey smoke rises through a gap in the ice.
That power is fiery hot, and yet, this glacier shows no signs of melting. When the next crack is twice as loud, my flimsy trust evaporates, and I spin, stumbling back to the safety of the edge. Pain claws at my insides, urging me to turn around and try again. Not going to happen.
Then, my eyes are flying open, and I’m back in the forest. Holy fuck—the magic is there, so why can't I use it?
Except, I did use it, twice, so I must be able to again.
Only one way to find out. I slip the slim, amethyst-handled dagger from my inside jacket pocket and make a tiny incision on the back of my left arm.
I watch a few beads of golden blood swell, hovering my hand over the cut and willing it to close.
Nothing happens. Trying again, I focus on the injury and imitate what I've seen Lira do so many times now.
Still nothing. Careful not to let the blood drip, I press my palm to that same spot on my stomach and my other hand directly on the skin near the cut.
There's no smoke, no light, just a fleeting churn of pain, and the cut is replaced with smooth, healed skin.
It fucking worked. I try again, and it works. Three more cuts, three sharp pains in my stomach, and the cuts disappear. Now, the question is, am I brave enough to try this on someone else? And how the fuck am I going to explain it?
Before any of that, I want to share my elation, confusion, and slight terror with someone else first.
"Aven," I reach out, and he's there in a heartbeat, like always. "I spoke to Varistia again. Turns out, she tolerates me more when I listen to what she has to say."
"Truly shocking," he drones, sounding a lot clearer than he has for the past few weeks, like he’s standing right next to me.
"Yeah, yeah. Look, she told me more about her magic–"
"Your magic. Go on."
I can’t help laughing at his snark. "Turns out, she wasn’t lying about giving me her raw power. I can’t wrap my head around it all yet, but I did just test healing, and it worked."
"I maintain this is something you should've done immediately. It would've been the more logical course of action.” His voice warms. “Definitely good news, though. Well done."
"It's great news, just as long as I can make it work again.
It means I should be able to heal Willa, and we can get her back to Raviaz.
It also means I have a shot at making it to Bri before the end of solstice.
Are you still up for going to Orz? I need to know before I attempt to explain myself to Zenn. "
"Of course I am. We should have gone directly there in the first place. I did not sign up for all this waiting around. What about the Mycelium? Now that you've come to your senses about the magic, maybe your intuition will help find that too." His voice is gilded with forced nonchalance.
"Do you know something?"
"I know many things."
"Anything useful you'd like to share?" I reply, sugary sweet.
"No. See you soon." The connection closes, leaving me to contemplate the best way to tell Zenn I need to go to Orz. Sorry, Bri, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep your secret much longer. There's no way I'm getting out of this conversation without a proper explanation.
"Where have you been? Thought you were asleep?" Hendrix calls out when I sneak back into camp. He's the only one around, keeping an eye on a sleeping Willa. I'm guessing the others are nearby training.
"How's the leg?" I ask, stirring spices into the oats for breakfast. We're really getting down to the most basic supplies now, having been out here for a month.
"Ignore the question all you want. He's going to be pissed when he finds out. As for my leg, it’s better today.
I'm just so bored, I'd give anything to be sparring.
Gods, I'd even be happy chopping firewood at this point.
Lira thinks a few more days until I'm able to walk or stand for more than ten minutes at a time. "
"Well, if you're brave enough to be my test subject, we might be able to shorten that significantly," I offer, covering the pot of simmering porridge and adding a few more logs to the fire to increase the heat.
He eyes me curiously. "Some new tonic or salve you want to try out?"
"Not exactly."
"Ok then. I'll lay my life in your hands and be your test subject. As long as I don’t have to take a test, I'm game."
"Perfect. Pants off."
"You're supposed to say perfect after I take my clothes off.
" A laugh escapes me while Hendrix strips down to his undershorts and sits back against a tree so I can take the bandage off.
Even without proper medical supplies, we've managed to avoid infection, and the wound has closed over significantly, thanks to Lira's healing work.
Time for me to see if I can contribute too.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and make myself place a hand on my abdomen, already resenting how that’s a necessary requirement of accessing the power.
When I feel the pulse of the magic, I lay a palm on Hendrix’s thigh, next to the injury.
"Ah, what are you doing?" He asks, sounding oddly nervous.
Fair question, healers don't normally touch patients when they work.
"Healing you, hopefully, now let me concentrate.
" My palm heats, and there's a slight hesitation when I try to convince the magic to flow into him.
Then, the warmth surges forward. Cramping pain shoots through my stomach, as expected.
Hendrix lets out a yelp, and my eyes fly open, cutting the stream of power. "What is it? Did I hurt you?"
"No, not exactly. That heat just prickles a bit.
It's intense." Nodding apologetically, I inspect the wound to be sure.
It looks a little better. Now that I think about it, when Lira sends her magic into injury, her hand is usually near the site but not over it.
I stupidly just sent a jolt of magic right into tissue that's already in trauma.
Maybe I shouldn't be attempting this without her.
I'll go slower and stop if it happens again.
I rub at the ache in my abdomen and find it helps immensely, so I put a hand back on Hendrix and will the power forward gently.
The trickle sinks into his deep brown skin, and the two of us watch as the sides of the wound draw together in seconds.
"What the hell? How are you doing that?" he yells, leaning down next to me to inspect his leg.
Before I can answer, a familiar voice interrupts, making me jump. "What exactly are you two doing?" Zenn drawls dryly. Cringing, I wish I'd had a chance to finish and maybe sleep a little before this. It’s going to take all of three seconds for him to put it together about his injury.
"You have to see this, brother. It's insane," Hendrix exclaims, pointing excitedly to his leg. "Come on, Aly. Keep going." I oblige, not looking either of them in the eye and using every bit of my concentration to hide any evidence of the pain when it strikes.