13. Marley
MARLEY
FLASHBACK
My fingers twist in my lap, and Jax bounces his knee to my right. Every ticking moment in this waiting room is stretched double, I swear. The walls are putrid yellow that reminds me of piss and it smells no better, nothing about it calming.
“What’s the point of an appointment if they don’t see you on time?” he grumbles.
I smile, moving to tangle my hand with his. My thumb rubs along his pulse. “To secure the spot, I guess. I’m sure they run late because of emergencies and what not.”
He rolls his eyes. “Here you are being sensible.”
I nudge his shoulder with mine, ignoring the squeak from the pleather rust-colored chair. “I’ll wait for as long as we need to get some answers.”
The nurse clears her throat, smiling down at us. “He’s ready. I’ll walk you back.”
My stomach drops, a ball of dread twisting around in there as we follow her down the hallway.
He doesn’t stand when we walk into the room, only flashing a brief smile as we sit in the chairs across from his desk. The nurse gently closes the door behind us.
The doctor glances over the chart, a frown on his lips and deep v between his eyebrows. “It’s just you two in the pack, correct?” His eyes flicker to Jax.
“Uh, yeah. Not really a pack, it’s just us.”
He nods, glancing at the paperwork again before sighing, tugging off his glasses and folding his hands over the folder on his desk.
“Can I be frank with you?” Again, his attention is on Jax, and it turns my stomach.
There must be something wrong with me. I’m the reason we’re not getting pregnant.
Everything inside me hurts, an ache that I’ve been holding back.
Jax looks over at me, his eyebrows furrowing, and he squeezes my hand before he nods at the doctor.
“You need an omega.”
I blink, taking a second for the words to register, and I slump back into the chair as my lungs deflate. “What?” I exhale the word in a hoarse whisper.
He flashes me a half-smile before returning to Jax. “Alphas and omegas are more biologically compatible. More than alpha and betas. If you want children, your best bet is an omega.”
Jax shakes his head. “Sure, but alpha and betas can have kids. Hell, half of our friends have betas as mothers.”
The doctor shifts in his chair, his shoulders standing straighter. “That may be, but do you know if they were conceived during an omega’s heat cycle? The fertility can boost the entire pack.”
I swallow down the rough news, because we didn’t know. There’s no way to ask anyone hey, how and when did you conceive your kids? That’s just so fucking strange.
The doctor clears his throat, and continues while my world is shattering around me. “Betas have better luck conceiving with other betas, which is why you find them paired together often. As an alpha, you’re going to want an omega and pack since we’re already seeing no results.”
Jax huffs in his seat.“So there’s nothing else you can do? Marley and I aren’t looking to join a pack.”
He squeezes my fingers harder, but I can only focus on the fake potted plant on the bottom shelf of the doctor's bookcase. There’s a lot of dust gathered on it. Dust just like the pile on my crushed hopes and dreams.
“Her hormones and your sperm count are good. We could do a procedure to check her ovaries for eggs, but it’s rather invasive. Like I said, the best choice for everyone involved is to bring in an omega. They’re built to carry children for the pack.”
My eyes flutter, a hot knife poking at my chest that keeps twisting deeper the longer he speaks. As if I would be a bad mother all around because I’m just a beta.
“It’s not necessary,” I say.
Jax’s head snaps to me. “What?”
I paste a smile on my face. “Can we go now?”
His eyes roam over me, concerned, but he nods, standing and pulling me up with him. I can’t even bring myself to look at the doctor again. He’s confirmed every insecurity I've ever had because I knew I was the problem. Deep down, I knew it was always me.