Chapter 20
Uh-oh
Dina
At the sound of Chi-chi’s voice, Declan steps away. I wipe my mouth, straighten my dress, and walk toward my daughter with my arms outstretched. When she does the same, I’m relieved.
I didn’t know I needed my daughter’s approval to kiss a man who is not her father, but judging by how thankful I feel that Chi-chi has grown into a wonderful human, it seems I did need her blessing.
We hug tightly.
The moment her body touches mine, the tension in my back that I didn’t know had accumulated releases. There is no greater feeling than hugging your child. Nothing compares to it. Chi-Chi is my treasure. She’s my everything.
“I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says.
“Thank you. I’m sorry to have worried you.”
We separate, and I take stock of her. She’s wearing her faded jeans and a white T-shirt. She’s styled her short, dark hair and colored in the tattoos on her forearm. She’s working and saving up for full sleeves.
“Mom, you remember Nathalie?” she asks, and her girlfriend embraces me with an air kiss on the cheek. “Hi, Ms. Ferrar.”
“Hi.” I don’t use that last name anymore, and I’ve told her my maiden name, Magnosiar, as she insists on not calling me Dina.
She either forgot or called me Ms. Ferrar on purpose.
I never liked this girl, so I’m going for the latter.
I think she’s a gaslighter, a subtle one, so you’re not quite sure if she’s doing it intentionally.
It’s just enough to poke at you. Everyone has met one of those in their life.
“This is…” I turn to introduce Declan, but he’s nowhere to be found. “Where did he go?”
Chi-chi frowns. “Maybe he ran away because you’re a bad kisser.”
Heat crawls up my neck and covers my cheeks.
“Christina Ferrar.”
My daughter laughs. “You’re blushing.”
I shouldn’t be embarrassed, but this is my daughter, the child who watched me make out with her dad, and now another man who is not her dad. While she’s a grown woman now, she’s not that grown, and she still loves her father. As she should.
I don’t speak ill of Sergei in front of our daughter. He was a good father to her, and he still is. Which makes everything between him and me more difficult. Divorce is messy.
Chi-chi and I sit at the table while Nathalie excuses herself to the bathroom.
Chi-chi stares at me. “Mom, you look terrible.”
Nobody in the world is more truthful than your child.
The truth saying starts somewhere in their teens.
They will tell you exactly how they feel and without remorse.
They’ll look you in the eye and say the most honest thing that comes to their mind.
I guess it’s a signal that you’re a good parent when your child is unafraid to speak the truth.
At least I like to think of it that way.
“Thank you, Chi-chi.”
“I mean it, Mom. How did you get those bruises under your eyes? It wasn’t him, was it?” She jerks her head up.
I crane my neck and look at the terrace, expecting Declan, but I don’t see anyone. “Him who?”
“The Crossbow kid.”
More heat crawls across my cheeks. This is shame, and I have to stand up for myself. “He’s not a kid. He’s a man who is older than you.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, but you can’t ask people to treat you with respect if you won’t respect them at any age. Do you see?”
“I don’t know his name.”
“Declan,” I tell her. “Do you want coffee?”
“I’d love some. We came as soon as we could get a ride.”
I fix her a cup of black coffee. No sugar, no cream. “I’m surprised they let a cab driver drop you off. The security here is tight.”
“Declan Crossbow sent a car for me.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I woke up, and there was a woman at my door asking if I wanted to see you. Nathalie was over last night, so we both came.”
“Long brown hair in a ponytail, wears boots? Thick accent?” I describe Slada.
“Yeah. She’s pretty hot.” Chi-chi blushes. “Anywayzzzz, was it him who punched you? And please don’t tell me you fell.”
“It was a detective at the police station.”
“That motherfucker should get fired. Maybe Dad knows him and can help. What’s his name?”
“It was a woman.”
Chi-chi rolls her shoulders. “Bring it, bitch.”
I smile. “Thank you, baby girl, but it’s being handled.” Oh my God, I sound like some underground capo. What’s a female for capo? Capola? Capolita?
“Is your boyfriend handling it?” Chi-chi asks.
I nod. My boyfriend. I must look like a tomato by now because I feel the need for a fan to blow in my face and cool me off. “I didn’t mean for you to see that.”
“Which that?” Chi-chi sips the coffee.
She knows which, but wants me to say it. “The kissing.”
“Why not? Dad kisses Ashley all the time.”
“Right.”
Chi-chi twirls the coffee cup. “Sorry. I should be more mindful.”
“It’s fine. I know they’re kissing, and I don’t care. Good riddance. Please eat something if you’re hungry.”
Chi-chi shakes her head. “Coffee is fine.” She looks up from the cup. She has my dad’s warm brown eyes. “Mom, what’s going on with you?”
“Many things, apparently. But I promise everything is going to be okay.” The lies we tell our children. I have no idea what to do with my life now. None whatsoever. I’m existing one day at a time.
“I want to know what’s going on. I want to talk to Dad. He’s a lawyer who knows defense lawyers. Mom, the news stations are saying you shot Massio Crossbow.”
I move to sit closer to Chi-chi. She’s scared for me, so I take her hands in mine. “Honey, you know I didn’t. You know I couldn’t shoot anyone.” Well, maybe your dad when he’s aggressive and threatening, but you don’t need to know that.
“Dad said you got pulled over with a rifle in the back seat of your car. Mom, a rifle. And now an SUV with tinted windows arrives for me, and I find you here in the Crossbow mansion, making out with one of the Crossbow twins. It doesn’t look like you’re innocent.
I’m scared they’re going to convict you for his murder.
You know Selnoa’s laws. You know they’re going to seek the maximum penalty. ”
Selnoa executes for high crimes. “Please don’t worry about me, Chi-chi. I’m going to be okay.”
She throws up her hands. “How will you be okay?”
“I don’t know. But I will be. Have faith.”
Chi-chi sighs. “I have a bad feeling about all this. Why don’t you come with me on the cruise?”
“What cruise?”
“The cruise Crossbow is sending me and Nathalie on.” Chi-chi reaches for her phone and shows me tickets to a Mediterranean cruise for two. “It’s for two weeks with the possibility of an extended stay at one of the ports called Couldermouth.”
I gather my wits about me. Declan and I need to talk. “But you have school.”
“My classes are almost all online.”
“You can’t possibly be thinking of accepting this.”
“Why not?”
“Because…” Where is that man? I look up at the terrace and find him standing with Connor and Nathalie. She twirls her long brown hair around her finger while giggling at something Declan said.
I look at my daughter, who sighs. “Nathalie is experimenting with me.”
“Oh no.”
Chi-chi shrugs. “It’s fine.”
They’ve been together for months. Chi-chi invested time and love into this woman. “I’m sorry.”
“I knew from the start. She told me I was her first. When it’s like that, there’s always a chance a woman is experimenting.”
On the terrace, Connor takes his leave, so now there’s only Declan and Nathalie. I watch her scoot closer to him. He doesn’t back off. She is much younger and pretty, so instead of being jealous, I just feel inadequate. A throwaway.
If you’ve divorced a cheating man who chose another woman over you, then you know what this feels like.
You know that healing these feelings takes time and requires lots of work.
When a woman has to also struggle to pay her bills, including her lawyer, she rarely has time to recover from feeling like a failure. In addition, she is constantly judged.
Nathalie reaches for Declan’s face. He evades, and the next thing we see is him walking down the steps toward us.
Chi-chi snickers.
Nathalie follows him.
Declan walks past us toward the pool. Nathalie follows and tries to talk to him. He spins, and she stops so as not to run into him, but slips and falls into the pool.
Chi-chi and I gasp. I hold back a bout of wicked laughter.
Declan sits at the table and unbuttons his suit. “She won’t drown, will she?”
Chi-chi pours herself more coffee. “Not sure I care.”
A smile plays on his lips, and he extends his hand. “Declan Crossbow.”
“Christina-Cherie. I go by Chi-chi.”
“Do you want to stay for lunch?” he asks.
My daughter glances at me.
“I’d love it if you could stay for lunch,” I say. “I hardly ever get to see you, but the tension at the mansion makes me think you’d be better off away from here.”
“Does that mean you’re okay with me going on the cruise?” Chi-chi asks.
I glare at Declan, who smirks. He engineered this meeting and the outcome he wanted. He knew I would protest the cruise, so he brought up lunch, hoping I would push back, and I did. Now I can’t say I don’t want my daughter away on a cruise he sent her on without asking me.
This is a very dangerous man. He’s deceptively pretty, deceptively calm and easygoing.
Nathalie comes back to the table. She’s soaking wet, and since she’s wearing a white shirt, her hard nipples stick out.
“Towels are in the closet by the door,” Declan says. “See yourself out.”
“Asshole,” she says as she storms past us.
Chi-chi gets up. “I’m going to head out with Nathalie. I need to tell her to pack her shit and move out of my apartment before I go on my cruise. Thanks for the tickets.”
“Welcome. I would consider it a personal favor,” Declan says, “if you took your grandpa with you.”
“My dad?” I ask.
Declan nods.
“A personal favor, you say?” Chi-chi rests her hands on the table.
“Mmhm,” Declan answers.
“I want a favor too. Have the cops drop all charges against her and leave my mother alone. She’s been through enough with my dad. She doesn’t need a man complicating her life again.”
“The charges will be dropped.”
We wait for him to say more, but he stares at Chi-chi as if he’s all done with favors.
“Chi-chi!” Natalie screams from somewhere inside the house. “Are you coming or what?”
Chi-chi purses her lips. “I gotta go. More on this later.”
My daughter rushes after her girlfriend. I glare at Declan, who rubs the back of his neck. “I overstepped a little.”
“A little?” I stand up. “I’m off to dress. I’m upset you didn’t talk to me before dealing with my daughter. Don’t do it again.”