Chapter 42
I’m not crying. You are
Dina
My salon has four chairs, and since I’m the only hairdresser, the other three are used by women getting ready to go out while they wait for the customer I’m working on. It’s Saturday night, so I stay open late, making sure everyone looks beautiful for tonight’s party.
It’s funny how young women talk about Connor and how they salivate over him.
Personally, I don’t think any of the ladies I met tonight could handle him long-term, but people aren’t looking for commitment anymore.
Only Declan. He looked and found me, the only woman in a city of over a million people who couldn’t marry him when he needed her to.
My fault. I dropped the ball, and I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life.
I only wish he hadn’t come to Selnoa for his engagement.
Maybe that’s exactly why he came. To rub it in my face.
Nah, he’s not thinking about me while marrying another woman.
He’s not here to rub anything in. He forgot about me.
I hold back the tears as I lock up the shop and turn to go up the stairs to my apartment. But I think better of it. It’s a long weekend, and, which means I get to watch TV and rest.
Trouble is, the only thing that’s going to air on TV is the Crossbow engagement. I could watch a romantic movie, but it would be too tempting to turn the channel and see Declan on the screen with his toothless fiancée.
Jokes aside, she’s probably beautiful and young and will bless him with many children. I’m angry at myself more than I am with him. By choosing myself, I lost a relationship with Declan.
I guess in life, something must give.
We can’t have our cake and eat it too.
By the time I get back from the grocery store, it’s almost ten thirty. I park my car and use the stairs, wishing for the millionth time that my building had an elevator so I wouldn’t have to drag two grocery bags full of ice cream and bottles of wine all the way to the top floor.
When I make it up there, I drop the bags to unlock the door (because I lock the door now), then pick the bags back up and carry them into the apartment.
I flip the switch, slide off my sandals, and proceed to the kitchen.
Declan Crossbow is standing in my living room.
I almost drop my bags. I open my mouth to ask him what he’s doing here, but I just gape like a fish out of water.
He’s wearing a tuxedo, and his hair has grown a little longer so that he styles it to the left. He’s a dirty blond. I forgot how handsome this man is.
“She’s a very lucky woman,” I tell him, then go to the kitchen to drop off my bags. I yank the refrigerator door open and pitch the ice cream into it.
“Ice cream goes in the freezer,” he says.
God, his voice. Deep and masculine. I WANT HIM BACK.
“Excuse me?” I say, sounding bitter and scorned yet again.
“You put the ice cream in the fridge.”
Oh. Well, shit. I fix the error. “You didn’t come here to tell me where to put my ice cream.”
“No, but aren’t you glad I did?”
I pause, but then opt out of answering him because I’m not sure what he’s asking me. Is it really just about the ice cream, or is he asking if I’m happy to see him? Maybe it’s not that deep. Maybe he is talking about the ice cream.
Since I have two more cartons, I pitch those into the freezer and slam the door, then move to the wine, but pause again. It might not be the best idea to be handling glass right now. I stomp out of the kitchen to confront him.
Hands on my hips, I walk up to him and instantly regret it, because now I can smell his cologne. It’s spicy and strong, reminding me of how hard he fucked me all night long. He broke my headboard that night, you know.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
Declan narrows his eyes. “I cannot believe you’re asking me that.”
“Oh… That’s rich. You say you hate Selnoa, and then you come back to buy a house here so you can live in it with your new fiancée, and all those fucking people who came to my salon are getting ready to attend your engagement party.
And here you are, in my apartment. What do you want, hm?
A blessing? A fuck before you commit to someone else?
Assurance that I wasn’t the right one? Sure, I can give you that.
I’m never the one. Nobody stays for me. Not my mom, not my ex, and not you. ”
Declan’s jaw works. I can tell he’s angry, but he’s safe for me to argue with. His control only slips when we fuck, and there will be none of that, even if that is the reason he’s here.
“You told me you wanted time,” he reminds me.
“I know what I did!” I shout.
Declan steps back. “What day is today?”
“Saturday. And?”
“And what date is it?”
I tell him the way a calculus student answers a simple algebra question, with one hundred percent certainty.
Declan stares.
I stare back. Is it a contest? I’m going to win. I am. I will not blink.
“You forgot.”
“Forgot what?”
Declan walks over to stand by the window and runs a hand through his hair.
“What? What did I forget?” I am forgetful because I’m not very organized. I’m better organized now than I was a few years back, but there’s only so much I can do with my personality. I like spontaneity.
Declan turns back around. I don’t know how to read his expression.
Is he uncertain? Not this man. This man is always certain of pretty much everything.
This is the man who executed his father, hid in my house, got out alive when every cop and criminal in the city looked for him, got me out of jail and a hostile hospital, and now he’s taking over his father’s criminal throne.
“I told you that you had one year. It’s one year today.”
“I didn’t forget,” I tell him.
“Then why aren’t you ready?”
Okay, maybe I did forget. “Ready for what?”
“Our engagement party.”
I blink. Twice. “You said I had one year.”
“Exactly.”
“I presumed you meant you would be back in a year and we would date.”
Declan frowns. “I don’t know what gave you that idea. I don’t want to date you, Dina. I don’t need to date you when I know I want to commit to you.”
“Are you saying there is no other woman?”
Declan presses his lips flat. “Please don’t insult me. I’ve never given you a reason to think there’s anyone else. I know this to be true because I’ve only ever loved you.”
This unicorn man is making my brain glitch.
“Are you saying you still want to marry me? After… after I told you no and made you wait a year. And are you saying you sent out invites and organized an engagement party without me having to lift a finger? I can just show up and…and…” I touch my forehead with a shaking hand.
“Show up and get a ten-carat diamond ring.”
Ah fuck, he’s playing dirty.
Declan continues, “I gave you a year before I returned to marry you. Today is one year. I thought we should hold a wedding today, but Dr. Mac said it’s better if we get engaged first since you’re not participating in the preparations.”
“Is Dr. Mac your therapist?”
Declan steps closer, eyes narrowed. “You need discipline. So much discipline. No, not a therapist.” Declan grabs my hips as I rise on tiptoes and lock my hands behind his neck.
“She’s Endo Macarley’s wife, who is a doctor. We call her Dr. Mac, formerly Pembroke.”
“I missed you,” I tell him. Tears slide down my cheeks, but for once, they’re happy tears. “I almost ran after you when you left.”
A pause, then Declan smiles, showing both his dimples. He’s happy too.
I love this man. I want this man. He kisses me, and the only thing holding me upright is his hands on my hips. Sadly, he pulls back and checks his watch.
“I’d better get dressed,” I say. “Oh no, I have no dress!”
Declan jerks his head toward the bedroom. “I got you, baby. I got you.”
See? This is my guy. He’s got me. He takes care of me. He loves me. What more could a girl want?