Chapter Thirteen #2
Bile burned at the back of Kade’s throat at the thought of what he was about to do. Who he was about to see. He twisted his hands in his robes to keep them from trembling.
Gods, he was going to throw up.
Killi stood at his shoulder, tall and strong and sturdy beside him, not a hint of nerves marring his face. A reassuring warmth in the face of a daunting, horrible, awful task.
When Kade had made the decision to leave the only life he’d ever known behind and chase after Killi, he hadn’t known what to expect; from Ingara, from the palace, from the king.
The farthest he’d ever gone from Turell was the neighboring province to deliver shipments of specialty wines. He’d been shocked at how different it was from home. Compared to that, Ingara—the palace—felt unreal, like something out of a legend.
Terrifying and unknown.
Wondrous and full of opportunity.
And Killi, he…fit. Navigating the halls with ease, the Guard and palace staff nodding their respect as they passed. He belonged, Kade could see that now.
Kade wanted to belong too, if only by Killi’s side. He wouldn’t go to the city. He wouldn’t let them be separated again. He wouldn’t let anyone else come between them. He’d do anything to stay, to keep this, to keep Killi, even if it meant appealing to the elf that ruined his life.
He could do that.
“You don’t have to do this,” Killi said for about the millionth time since Kade had demanded this audience the day before. “There are plenty of prestigious masters in the city. It doesn’t have to be Hokda.”
“It does,” Kade insisted hotly. A bit frustrated that Killi didn’t seem to understand how important this was—or worse, didn’t care. He couldn’t stay in the palace if he didn’t apprentice under Hokda. He’d be exiled to the city, and that was as bad as being back in Turell. “It needs to be Hokda.”
Killi studied him for a moment, assessing.
Kade didn’t know what he saw, but after a moment he nodded.
“Alright, then. Chin up. Shoulders back. Chest high. Don’t show fear, he can smell it.
” His lips twitched, but his dark eyes were soft.
“He’s not really that scary, just…stand your ground.
Argue your points well. He respects that. ”
For once, Killi was wrong, because King Fyar Engarathi really was that scary.
Calling them to enter his study, Fyar sat behind a great oak desk swathed in luxury and power like he was born for it.
Golden smoke rolled off of him in waves, traces of his en that were visible even without Kade focusing his eyes to look beyond the surface layer of the natural world.
The king’s magic so overwhelming, so strong that his body couldn’t contain it all.
It was a wonder that any one being could hold so much power and not go mad with it.
Fyar was perfectly blank. He’d been expecting them, though he didn’t even bother to wear that fake little smile he had before. His eyes were trained on Kade and Kade alone.
Feeling his cheeks go hot under the scrutiny, Kade fought the urge to turn and run with his tail between his legs.
The study was magnificent, with a view that made you think you owned the world, but Kade could barely see any of it. His vision seeming to blur, unable to focus on anything but the king sat in front of him.
Killi and Kade bowed as they approached.
“Your Majesty.” Kade was grateful his voice came out steady. “Gratitude for seeing me on such short notice. I won’t take much of your time.”
“I’ll admit I’m surprised. I didn’t expect to see you again so soon, Kade del Torau,” Fyar drawled, leaning back in his chair. Then, he raised a hand and flicked his wrist. “Leave us, Captain.”
Killi made a sound of protest. “No.”
“One of my subjects has come to me about a personal matter. Your input is not needed here. You’re dismissed.”
Reluctantly, Killi went, but not before meeting Kade’s eyes and offering a last nod of encouragement.
“Now,” said Fyar, once the door clicked shut, “Why have you come?”
The room suddenly felt smaller. If Kade thought being in the room with Fyar before was bad, it was so much worse now that it was just the two of them.
Gods the king was creepy. Devoid of all color.
Devoid of all life. Kade could admit he was beautiful, in a haunting, ghostly kind of way.
Sharp and cold like steel. Too easy to cut yourself on. Too easy to kill yourself on.
It was hard to even look at the king, goosebumps rippled across Kade’s arms and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end when he met those blank, blank eyes.
Kade rolled his shoulders back. “I would request a recommendation.”
“Ah. I take it your endeavor with Healer Hokda was not well received.”
“No,” said Kade, stiffly, “It wasn’t.”
“So you’ve come to ask for my assistance.”
“Yes.”
“What exactly is it that you expect me to do? He’s refused you already. How would I convince him he’s wrong? He has no guarantee you’re worth anything more than flattering, empty words.”
“I’ll take any tests he deems necessary. I know I can pass. I only need the chance.”
“And if you fail?”
“I-I’ll leave. No contest.”
“I see.” A beat of silence. Then, “So ask.”
Kade blinked, suddenly feeling wrong-footed and unsure. “I’m sorry?”
“You said you’ve come to ask for my assistance,” Fyar said slowly, like he was talking to a child. “So ask me.”
Kade grit his teeth. “What? Do you want me to get on my knees and beg? I did ask you.”
“Well, that approach would certainly be a lot better than the one you’re attempting now.
Because no, you didn’t ask me, you requested a recommendation.
That is not the same.” Something in Fyar’s voice made Kade feel very, very small.
“Hokda would not take kindly to me forcing his hand. To put myself between you and him, to force him to give you a chance would put me very far from his good graces, and you’re not giving me many reasons I should. ”
A war waged inside of Kade. His heart and his head. What was he willing to suffer?
A decision made. Fighting against every instinct in his body, Kade lowered himself to his knees, and then his hands, until he pressed his forehead to the rug that had just been beneath his feet.
“Please, speak to Healer Hokda on my behalf. I’m asking for a chance, and I know you’re my only hope of getting one. Please.”
The king let Kade stew there for an eternity before allowing him up. He was trembling when he finally raised his head, red and hot with rage and shame.
“That was clearly very painful for you,” said Fyar, a smug gleam in his eyes. “Why would you go so far?”
It was simple. “I need to be here. There’s no other option for me.”
Fyar hummed, considering that. He nodded. “I’ll speak with Hokda. You will be administered the test. My assistance is not a guarantee. Whether you pass or fail will be of your own volition, and if you fail, you will leave quietly without any more fuss. Do you understand?”
Kade’s heart hammered in his chest. “Yes.”
“Then you may go.”
Turning on his heel, Kade fled, wanting nothing more than to be out of that fucking room.
“I will administer your examination personally,” Hokda snarled like it was a threat. His eyes wide and wild as he stood in Killi’s doorway, fists clenched tight at his sides. He was nearly on his tiptoes to get in Kade’s face. “You have one week to prepare. I suggest you use your time wisely.”
Kade gulped. “Yes, sir.”