Chapter 25 Asher
ASHER
“What can I help you with, darling?” my mother says, sitting down on the sofa in her living room.
She sets down a tray of herbal tea—no caffeine will be served in her home at this hour—and stirs honey and milk into her teacup.
My father comes into the living room, draped in his robe.
He removes his glasses and rubs his tired eyes.
It’s only ten p.m., but since it’s a Monday night, that’s like two a.m. to my parents.
“I fu—messed up. With Ella.”
“We’re aware,” Dad says.
“What happened?” Mother asks.
“The, uh, headlines yesterday and today weren’t wrong. I was cold and distant to Ella on Saturday night. I didn’t realize people would notice like they did.”
My mother looks less than impressed at my confession. “You’ve spent your entire life in the public eye, Asher. How could you think the press wouldn’t realize your distance and capitalize on it?”
“I guess I thought I was hiding it better than I was. I thought I was being more discreet.”
She takes a sip of her tea, her eyes giving me an exasperated, pitying look. “You weren’t, darling.”
I huff. “I know that now.”
“So, why were you so cold and distant Saturday?” my father asks, preparing his own tea. “I thought you liked Ella. You made such a show of choosing her, of standing up for her in front of the board.”
“I do like Ella. And I stand by my decision that she’s the best person for this role. I just . . . it got too real, too fast, and I had one of my dreams on Friday night.”
My mother lets out a sigh and gives me another pitying look. I hate it when she does that.
“I’m fine,” I insist. “I just had a bad day after the dream, and that bad day happened to be the day we had an event together.”
“Your first event together,” my father says, taking a sip of tea.
“Yes.” Fuck. “So, not the best impression to lead with.”
“How is Ella handling all of this?” my mother asks.
“She’s . . . upset. Obviously. She told me she went along with all of this because she trusted me, and then on the first public appearance, I threw that trust in her face.”
“She’s not wrong, darling.”
“And now she doesn’t trust me. She’s avoiding me and will barely speak to me. I need to fix it, quickly.”
“Trust is not something that’s fixed quickly.”
I close my eyes and grit my teeth. “Then what do I do?”
“What have you done so far?” my father asks.
“I had flowers delivered to my penthouse, but I don’t think she even saw them; she rushed right to her room when we got home from work. And then I felt like an idiot bringing them up to her, so I didn’t. But I’m having a large arrangement sent to her at work tomorrow morning.”
Neither of them say anything. They both just look at me, expectantly.
“That’s it?” my mother finally asks when I don’t say anything else.
My father chuckles snidely into his tea.
“What else am I supposed to do?”
“My god, you really never have been in a proper relationship, have you, darling?”
“I’ve been in relationships. But not for a long time.”
“I didn’t say you hadn’t been in any relationships. I said you’ve never been in a real relationship.”
“What does that even mean?”
My father scoffs, sipping his tea again, looking at me like I’m the biggest moron he’s ever seen.
“You’ve cared for the women you’ve been in relationships with,” my mother says, setting her teacup down. “But you’ve never felt more than care for them.”
“That’s not true.”
She raises her brow. “Have you ever loved any of them? Have you ever let yourself get close enough to love them?”
“No,” I bite out.
“And so, in the past when your relationships soured, you let them go without much effort. But you can’t do that with Ella because too much is at stake, and since you’ve never tried to fight for a woman before, it’s clear that you don’t know how.”
“That sums it up nicely, Mom.”
“Look at it from a business perspective, since this is a bit out of your depth,” my father says.
I bite my tongue. My parents are on a fucking role with the thinly-veiled insults tonight.
“Let’s say Ella is a company you acquired.
You agreed and signed on the terms, then you immediately defaulted on some of them.
What do you expect that company would do? ”
“They would try to find a way to back out of the deal or sue.”
“And what would you do to prevent that?”
“I would negotiate. I would fix the terms and give them what they wanted. But the problem is, I don’t know what Ella wants. This isn’t a real relationship.”
My mother sighs. “Asher, you just said it a moment ago. She wants to be able to trust you. She wants to know that when she’s putting herself out into the world for you, that you’ll be there with her.
That you’ll protect her and stand by her.
She already has to deal with the uncertainty of the press, she can’t also be asked to cope with more uncertainty when it comes to you.
This is your world, and you should have known better.
You should have navigated her through it, and you didn’t.
If you’re going to ask this of her, you have to be her rock.
Her safe place. Otherwise this isn’t going to work. ”
“So, how do I show her that without it taking weeks, which we don’t have?”
“I have just the thing. Give me a moment.”
My mother leaves the living room, and my father and I sit in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.
“Would it be such a terrible thing if it was a real relationship?” he finally asks me, his blue eyes, my eyes—grandpa’s eyes—boring into me.
“I don’t want to get into it.”
“Let me say my piece, and then I’ll let it go, for now.
You have buried yourself in work your whole life, Asher.
You’ve pushed women, love, and people away.
You let so few people into your life, and while that can be a prudent thing in many ways as a Langford, it’s not healthy for you to stay that way forever.
You’re only human, and humans were not made to be alone.
For some people, having good friends and family is enough, and I’m sure you’ve told yourself the same thing over the years.
But I know you, my boy, and I don’t think it’s enough for you.
“You need a partner. You deserve a partner. You deserve at least one person in your world that gives your life more meaning. All of our money, our business, our world would mean nothing to me without your mother, you, and your brothers. At the end of your life, do you really think you’ll be thinking about what deals you did or didn’t close?
How much money you had? No. You’ll be thinking of the things that are truly important, and right now, Asher?
There is nothing in your life that is truly important. ”
His words are like a punch to the gut.
“But when you stood in front of the board, defending Ella and fighting for her, I had hope for the first time in a long time. I know you two haven’t known each other long, but I see the way you look at her.
And I see what kind of woman she is. I think Ella could be someone in your life that means something.
She could be something that actually matters if you let her. ”
His words hit with a different kind of force this time, and I don’t know what to say. But I’m saved from trying to answer as my mother comes back into the room.
“Here we are,” she says, handing me one large midnight-blue velvet jewelry box, and a small one to match.
I open the large one. I can’t help the breath of surprise that escapes me.
It contains one of the gold Langford pendants.
The one set aside for me. The teardrop gold pendant has an elaborate cursive “L” engraved on the surface, with a small diamond set into the beginning of the “L” and another at the end of it.
Its actual value isn’t much—it’s just a gold pendant and two small diamonds—but its history makes it incredibly valuable.
It’s an antique that has been in our family for two centuries. It’s the original Langford pendant.
“I . . . I can’t, mom.”
“Yes, you can.”
“It’s a Langford pendant!”
“I’m aware, darling.”
“Why would I give this to her when she couldn’t wear it?”
“And why couldn’t she wear it?”
“Because someone will see it!”
“And what’s wrong with people seeing it?” she asks, innocently.
“Don’t play dumb. You know full well that this gift may seem innocuous at first, but eventually, someone who knows what these pendants mean will see it on her, and then it will be reported.”
“Which will be excellent press, darling.”
“And what happens when this is all over, do I just ask for it back? I can’t think of anything more insulting.”
“If this is the business transaction you say it is, I don’t see why that would be a problem.”
“Why don’t I just fucking propose tonight while I’m at it!”
“Language, darling. And don’t be silly, a proposal is always at least a fortnight after the pendant.”
“Yes, but only because it took a fortnight to settle the terms of a woman’s dowry! Shall I call her father and open the discussions tomorrow?”
“I love you, my son. But sometimes you are your own worst enemy. For once in your life, have some faith. Take a leap. You might be surprised by what you find on the other side.”
“You’re not making any sense, Mom. I know Declan has asked for his pendant at least three times, and you’ve denied him every time.”
“Declan would have given his pendant to his high-school girlfriend of three weeks, once upon a time. He was too eager to jump into what he thought was love, headfirst and without a thought, when what he was feeling was lust. But he was burned too many times and has unfortunately learned his lesson. And now I know when he asks for this pendant, it will be for the right woman, and I will happily give it to him.”
“Okay, but I’m not in love, and yet you’re here practically shoving it down my throat. Ella is not even my real girlfriend or soon-to-be-fiancé, as per the pendant’s usual custom.”
“Asher, where do you see your life in ten years?”
“The same as it is now.”
“And that doesn’t bother you?”
“No, I love my life.”
“If you had a different heart, darling, I would agree with you. Some people do not need to marry to find fulfillment and happiness in life. But you are not one of those people. Asher, you may deny it, but that doesn’t make it truth.
You are a passionate, loving person, who needs connection.
You’ve been that way since you were a boy.
You were not made to be a lone wolf. That’s not to say that you’re not independent, you are, but independent and completely alone are two different things. ”
My father’s smirk is as smug as a cat’s as my mother essentially repeats his earlier words.
“You may have grown somewhat accustomed to being alone, but don’t think that your father and I don’t see the scars of it on you.
Don’t think we don’t see your face when you see your old friends with their wives and children.
Don’t think we’re fooled into thinking that your line of disposable women gives you any sort of happiness.
You may lie to yourself, but you can’t lie to us.
You are lonely. You are unhappy. And you keep yourself that way because of fear.
Because of what happened with your grandfather. ”
“I’m not here to discuss grandpa or that night.”
“Don’t let that night haunt you out of a life of happiness, Asher. It would be such a waste.”
“And my pendant is the answer? I should just give it to a woman I barely know for the sake of good press? I thought these were supposed to be sacred to our family.”
“Then treat Ella sacred after you give it to her.”
“And again, when this is all over and I’ve treated her sacred for months, I just what—snatch it back from her neck? I can’t not have it to give to my future wife; that wouldn’t be the Langford way.”
“You’re so damn obtuse sometimes that you might have the pendant thrown back in your face if or when it’s all over.”
“That’s the thing . . . you just said, ‘if.’ Why are you both gambling so hard that the ending is an if and not a when?”
“Because I want you to try. Things may not work out with Ella, and if they don’t, they don’t. But I cannot sit back any longer and watch you flounder in loneliness and pretend you don’t care. You have one life to live, and I’m tired of watching you waste it.
“If it doesn’t work with Ella, at least you will have lived.
At least you will have done something. And then when you recover, you’ll be better.
And when the right woman does come along, you’ll be ready for her.
Because right now, you’re not ready. And I can’t think of anything sadder, my darling boy.
Because if you gave a woman your all, if you gave yourself to her, heart and soul, she would be the luckiest woman in the world.
Not because of your wealth or your Langford name, but because of who you are. ”
“We don’t want to hold onto this pendant for the next two decades waiting for you to figure it out,” my father says, gently.
“We never had to push you out of the nest; you were ready to fly on your own, all too soon. But now, we need to push you to make your own nest. You deserve true happiness, and your life as it is now, is not that. Please listen to us on this. Please try. Take a risk. You may be surprised how things work out.”
I let out a long breath and open the smaller box. A set of Langford cuff links that match the pendant sit inside.
“Like it or not,” my father continues, “this jewelry has been the way the Langford men have made a claim and given their women protection for over two hundred years. It’s not the same now as it was back then, but it will still send a strong message that will garner Ella a great deal of respect.
Which should help repair the reputation you unintentionally hurt. ”
My mother closes the lids on the jewelry boxes and places them in my hands.
“This is bold,” I say, unsure, as I take them from her.
My mother tips her head in challenge. “And the Langfords are known as the Lions of New York. I didn’t think lions were quiet, submissive creatures.”
“You want to earn her trust? You want to keep her safe?” my father asks. “You want to make it clear that no one is allowed to hurt her? Then you protect her the way Langford men have been protecting their women for two centuries.”
“How . . . would I even give it to her?”
“It must be grand, darling. You cannot give this on a simple whim like an afterthought. Most Langford’s had celebrations for the giving of the pendant.”
“When I’m back from London, then.”
“I’ll help you plan it.”
“That will take some time, though. Which I don’t have.”
“Then think of another gesture in the meantime. Something more personal than flowers.”
“Go on, now,” my father says. “And don’t get into your head about it.”
I let out a derisive laugh.
Like that’s possible.