Chapter 31
ELLA
“Last night was a home run,” Emily says, scrolling through various articles on her laptop. We’re gathered at a small table in the corner of our conference room for our morning meeting. “Well done, Ella. The dress is winning the internet right now.”
I smile, despite the pounding headache from my hangover.
“And that goodnight kiss?” Heather says. She fans her face. “Like, wow. How did you guys turn things around so quickly? You went from the freezing cold to steamy heat in a matter of days. It was very convincing.”
Damn the blush I know is creeping up my face.
This is so awkward to speak about at work, especially since it’s work related.
I don’t even know what to say or how to answer her question.
Because the answer is we didn’t try. That kiss wasn’t staged.
That was raw emotion bleeding over from me getting finger fucked in a back office, and Asher proposing we give in to our mutual attraction and sleep together.
But I’m not about to tell my coworkers that.
“We are just more comfortable around each other now,” I mumble.
“You’re so lucky,” Daphne says with a swoon. “Kissing Asher like you’re in a fairytale.”
“It’s Mr. Langford to you,” Emily says with a raised brow.
“Ella calls him Asher,” Daphne says, defensive.
“Ella is for all intents and purposes dating him. Are you?”
Daphne huffs. “No.”
“The lines of professional and personal may blur for Ella because of her role, but let me make it very clear that for the rest of us: they will stay rigid and in place. He is our boss, the CEO of this company, and Mr. Langford to everyone on this team except Ella.”
“Of course, excuse my slip,” Daphne says, but she doesn’t fully hide the heat in her tone, and I don’t miss the look of resentment she gives me before she goes back to her notes. Great. I don’t know what to do with that. Hopefully it will pass with time.
We finish up our morning meetings, and I take a breath. Asher will be gone for at least a week, and my charity work was pushed back a week, so I can hopefully just work and lie low for the next few days. After the insanity of everything, some peace and quiet are exactly what the doctor ordered.
“I’m sorry, mom,” I groan over video chat. I adjust myself in my bed, propping my pillows so I can sit up more comfortably. “It happened quickly, and there’s no stopping it now.”
“I know, sweetie. It’s clear from the photos that you two are quite connected, but I worry about you.”
“Your face is even splashed across the media over here in the UK,” Maya chimes in.
We’re on our weekend family catch up call.
“And that’s saying something. The UK has a general disdain for most things associated with America, so if they’re printing about you, you’ve officially made it on a global scale. ”
“Don’t forget about Catherine,” I say. “She still technically carries a noble status from over there.”
“But she defected to America, so feelings about her are mixed.”
“Yes, but the UK still pays quite close attention to her and her sons.”
“And that attention is a bit worrying,” my mother says.
I sigh. “There’s nothing I can do about it. Dating Asher puts me in the spotlight.”
My mother’s brows pinch. “I hate to ask it, but someone has to . . . is he worth it, Ella? Is your loss of privacy, the risk to your safety, and your lack of anonymity worth it? I can’t imagine dealing with all of this for someone who wasn’t incredibly special.
Because, sweetie, I don’t think it’s worth it unless he’s the one. ”
I open and close my mouth. I still can’t tell my mother and Maya the truth.
Not because I don’t trust them, but because I’m paranoid and worry what could happen if I was hacked.
If someone in the world got hold of a video of me telling my mother that dating Asher was a publicity stunt, I don’t know how either Asher or I could come back from that.
I have to approach all of my conversations with them as if this is all real—which makes it messy.
And I hate it, not just because I’m lying to the people I love most in the world, but because I need those people to talk through this with.
This is all so complicated, and I’m like an island, wading through this on my own.
And now I have no idea what to do about Asher’s proposal, and the two people I trust the most in the world are two people I can’t talk to because I can’t see them in person.
“I know he has a lot of money,” my mother continues, “and don’t think I’m not flabbergasted by the massive deposit you made to my banking account, but money isn’t everything. Money doesn’t buy peace or happiness. And he has a reputation, not just with the ladies, but for being a difficult person.”
“I hope you’ve learned by the headlines about me, that a reputation painted by the media is often far from the truth.”
“I know that, sweetie. But there are plenty of incriminating photos to go with the stories.”
“Innocent pictures can be twisted to look incriminating. I’m not saying Asher doesn’t have a past, and that some of his reputation isn’t deserved, but he’s certainly not the person the media makes him out to be.”
“But is he worth it?”
I bite my lip. If this was real, if Asher and I were in love, would he be worth it? It takes me no time to think about it.
“Yes. He’s worth it.” He may be flawed. He can be rude, possessive, domineering.
But beneath all of that, when Asher is stripped down to just him—he’s an amazing person.
“He can be difficult, yes. But not in the way people think. He’s stubborn and a control freak, but it comes from a good place.
I’m not with him because of the money, I’m with him because of who he is. ”
My stomach flip-flops, and my words smack me in the face because I know they’re both true and false.
I am with him because of the arrangement, and that arrangement includes money.
So technically I’m with him for the money.
But if this wasn’t an arrangement, my other words would hold all of my truth—and I would be with him despite the money.
I would be with him because I see him for who he is, and I like what I see.
“He’s more than worth it,” I say, and my voice cracks with emotion.
“Okay,” my mother says, and she lets out a small sigh.
“And if this goes on long term, if he is the one, and you marry and live a life together, are you prepared for what that entails? Are you prepared to have your life, your children’s lives, played out in the media?
Are you prepared to have every step you take scrutinized for the rest of your life?
Because it will be. For good and for bad, if you stay with Asher, you will never know true privacy again. That is what you’re signing up for.”
I take a breath.
I close my eyes.
I don’t know how to answer her. Because it’s not real. Because this is an arrangement.
Asher has no intention of signing up for marriage and children. This isn’t a life together. But if it was . . . is this what I’d willingly sign up for?
Is he worth it?
Yes.
I want to curse myself for how easy it is to answer that question, especially for how little time I’ve known Asher.
But I can’t deny that there is a real part of me wishing and dreaming that this was real.
I want to give in to his proposition, and I want to push for more, because that part of me wants him for myself for real.
And that makes me a very, very stupid woman.
“I’ll cross that bridge if it comes to it,” I say, both to myself and to my mother. “Asher and I are very new. There’s no point in worrying over a future when we’re just getting to know one another.”
“Maybe in a normal relationship, but this situation is anything but normal. You must keep these things in mind. The farther you fall, the harder all of this will be. And you can’t go into it blind.
You must be aware that if things progress, it will affect you forever. I just want you to understand that.”
“I understand.”
“And you’re sure?” Maya asks.
“I’m sure.”
I flop back against my pillows. My phone vibrates on the bed, and I look at it. A text from Asher comes through.
Glad I’m worth it. That’s a comfort at least.
My eyes nearly bulge from my sockets.
“I have to go,” I say breathlessly to my mom and Maya. “I’ll chat with you next week.”
I shut my laptop without another word and pick up my phone to dial Asher. He answers on the second ring.
“Hello, my Ella.”
“How the hell can you hear my conversation with my mother and sister?” I demand.
He chuckles. “When you were avoiding me like the plague, I took matters into my own hands.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You wouldn’t speak to me after the gala, and you avoided me by staying up in your room. I didn’t like it.”
“So what did you do?”
“Look up at the top of your TV.”
I slide off the bed and cross the room to the TV which sits directly across from my bed. There is a tiny black camera on top of it.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You’ve been able to watch me in my room all this time?”
“Yes.”
“That’s disgusting and a horrible invasion of privacy, Asher! Why would you do that?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay and that you weren’t going to do something rash, like back out of our deal.”
“And how does watching me in my room accomplish that?”
“It’s not like I’ve been watching you constantly, I do have an empire to run.”
“That doesn’t make it okay!”
I frantically run over everything I’ve done in my room for the last week. “What have you seen?”
Asher chuckles again. “Not much, mostly you working or sleeping.”
“You watch me sleep?”
“I don’t watch. I’ve glimpsed you sleeping and turned off the feed once I knew you were safe in bed.”
“That’s so fucked up, Asher.” And then I think of what else I’ve done in my room. “Wait, have you watched me dressing and changing?”
He takes his time to answer. “Yes.”
“Asher!”